Horrible Histories Issue 54

Horrible Histories magazine is the funniest, foulest and goriest magazine you’ll ever see! If you dare, you’ll discover so much stuff about the awful Egyptians, rotten Romans, terrible Tudors, vile Victorians and more that you’ll become a horrible expert! Join TV star Rattus and the gang and begin a journey through the putrid past – all the gore and more!

United Kingdom
Immediate Media Company London Limited
Back issue only
1,28 €(TVA Incluse)

dans ce numéro

1 min
saturday night takeaway !

BREAD! Those black bits in your Indian naan bread? Herbs and seeds. The grainy bits in medieval bread? Different story – bakers dunked sand and cobwebs in their dough to cut costs! MAINS! Too much choice on takeaway menus? That’s better than the bad winters 1,000 years ago, where you ate anything you could get your hands on — or starved! Famished Vikings feasted on foxes, but Saxons were worse. They noshed on nettles, tree bark… and their dead relatives! SIDE DISH! Don’t ask us how your Chinese takeaway makes prawn crackers, but it’s gotta be better than the way the Incas treated their potatoes – trampled on barefoot and roasted over llama poo! SIDE DISH! If your battered sausage from the chippy is more grease than meat, it’s nothing new. During Second World War rationing, British…

1 min
on this horrible day…

18 Feb, 1478 Edward IV’s brother is executed at the Tower of London for treason. It’s said he was drowned in a barrel of wine! 3 Mar, 1857 The United Kingdom and France launch war on China because they don’t like the way they’re trading opium! 5 Mar, 1936 Whoosh! Legendary British fighter plane the Spitfire made its first test flight near Southampton. It reached a top speed of 330mph. 10 Mar, 1876 Inventor Alexander Graham Bell makes the first-ever successful telephone call! 13 Mar, 1881 A bomb explodes under Tsar Alexander II’s carriage. He tells everyone he’s ok, before another bomb is chucked by a terrorist and finishes him off. 15 Mar, 55BC Julius Caesar is assassinated – he’s stabbed to death in the Senate! 18 Mar, 1965 Russian astronaut, Alexei Leonov, becomes the first person to walk in space. 21 Mar, 1556 The…

1 min
trench truths!

1 Some soldiers rubbed ______ over their feet to try and keep them dry! A RAT POO B WHALE OIL 2 If soldiers didn’t have a gas mask, they ______________ and put it over their mouth! A PEED OVER A HANDKERCHIEF B PICKED UP A RAT 3 Even ____________ was risky business – the enemy shelled the toilets to try and catch soldiers with their pants down. A GOING TO THE LOO B GETTING READY FOR BED 4 Rainy days would fill the trenches with water. After standing around in sloppy mud for days, many soldiers had their feet ________! A CHOPPED OFF B DISINFECTED 5 When food was running low, soldiers ate ________. A HORSE POO B RATS 6 Some soldiers boiled then drank water that filled the holes made by shells. They got horrible boils and ______________! A DIARRHOEA B HEADACHES 7 The winter of 1916-17…

1 min
the dark knights

BERNARD DE CAHUZAC FRENCH KNIGHT Brutal Bernie thought that monks and nuns were hiding treasure from him in the 1200s – so he cut off the hands and feet of 150 of them, ripped out their eyes and let them die! His peasant-slicing wife was no sweetie with a knife in her hand, either. HE’S LIKE: THE JOKER. VICTIMS GET SPECIAL MAKEOVERS! RICHARD DE CLARE EARL OF PEMBROKE, 1130-1176 De Clare was a nasty Norman knight known as ‘Strongbow’. In May 1170, he invaded a town in Ireland. He beat the Irish defenders, then took them to a cliff where he broke their arms and legs before chucking them in the sea. HE’S LIKE: BANE. A BIG, BEEFY BULLY! PHILIP AUGUSTUS FRENCH KING, 1179-1223 English King Richard I once cut out the eyes of 15 French knights and sent them…

1 min
you’ve been maimed!

SHELL SHOCK ! Spoiler alert! Greek playwrite Aeschylus popped out for some fresh air in 456BC when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his bonce, killing him instantly! How’s that for a surprise ending? HORSING AROUND ! William III had an absolute ’mare when his horse stumbled on a molehill in 1702. He fell off, broke his collarbone and died of infection. His wife, Mary II, died of smallpox. Not so funny. ARROW ON POINT ! In 1100, William II was out hunting for deer when a stray arrow from one of his pals socked him square in the chest! Wrong place, wrong time. OVER - DRESSED ! Draco was a brutal lawmaker in Ancient Greece. After one of his speeches around 600BC, the crowd threw so many clothes on stage – a traditional show of approval…

1 min
marco polo vs polos

EXPLORING? He travelled from Venice to China, then accompanied a princess right across Sumatra, Sri Lanka and India to Iran. / 10 Polos brave treacherous mouths and sail down gullets, before visiting the exotic world of your stomach. / 10 FRESHNESS? Not good – sailors had to deal with cramped conditions, disease, poor food and bad weather. Sorry, Marco, but you stink. / 10 Extreme. Packing a powerful minty punch, Polos will mercilessly blast away pungent breath! / 10 HOLINESS? A devout Catholic, Marco unsuccessfully tried spreading his faith throughout the Mongol empire. / 10 Take a look for yourself – this mint’s got an enormous hole right in the middle of it! / 10 EASY TO GET AROUND? Mongol ruler Kublai Khan provided Marco with a special gold tablet that allowed him to stay pretty much wherever he wanted! / 10 Dressed in a tailored foil wrap…