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The PictureThe Picture

The Picture

Issue 1923

The Picture is an Australian men’s magazine aimed at the average bloke. It’s full of local stories, nude women, puzzles, prizes and jokes.

Bauer Media Pty Ltd
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bappy birthday

JUST the other day Ukrainian big-tit model Demmy Blaze huffed and puffed and blew out the candles on her cake to celebrate her 27th birthday. There to share her joy were her enormous, all-natural, H-cup HAMBURGLARS, which, while not there for the whole journey, have certainly contributed to her wonderful life in recent years. They have helped her make a bunch of dosh as a web-cam model and soft-core porn star since she first unveiled them to the world back in 2016. We wish all three of them – Demmy and her two JUGGY PALS – nothing but the best for the future. For they are JOLLY GOOD PILLOWS. Hip hip hooray!…

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suds buddies

WE COULDN’T think of a better way of starting this magazine off than by bringing you photos of Pom babes Emma Frain and Rhian Sugden, coupled with an ALL EXPENSES PAID HOLIDAY to Pomland to go and visit them. However, due to an awful PRINTING ERROR the holiday couldn’t be arranged, so you’ll have to settle for these beaut pics. Emma, 31, is a personal trainer and fitness enthusiast and Rhian, 33, is a glamour model who loves to DJ. Happily, they’re both VERY keen on posing with other chicks, too. This raises our blood pressure, and the following question – what is it about seeing two chicks taking their clothes off together that is so damned beaut? Well, we’ve had a think about it and firstly you get DOUBLE everything you like about…

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wobbly world

SAN FRANCISCO! Going down the park for a barbie with Seppo hottie Avri Norwood is heaps of fun, ’cos after she finishes eating she loves to get nude on the picnic table. Pass the sauce! CZECH REPUBLIC! Hungarian model Gulyas loves a hot, sweaty game of doubles, a hard, fast serve, and big, bouncy balls. Oh yeah – she also enjoys playing tennis, apparently. UP THE CREEK! Jesse Jane (far left) came out of retirement to lez it up with Jordan Cole and Zoe Monroe in the Alexis Texas-directed porno Boats & Hoes. PALM SPRINGS! Stacked Seppo porn star Lena Paul never has to pay for drinks, line up to get into clubs or WEAR FLOATIES when she’s in the pool. MILAN! In the Italian fashion capital Czech model Stacy Cruz models the latest in cool poses – one…

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news flash

BALL-JUICE BARBIE FIREMEN risked being scalded by BOILING BULL SPOOF when they fought a blaze at a storage facility for cattle sperm in Gippsland, Victoria. The firies were called to Yarram Herd Services where cryogenically frozen cylinders of the JIZZ were already EXPLODING when they arrived. About $100,000 worth of the bovine LOVE CUSTARD was destroyed in the blaze. Good news is, there’ll be heaps of overtime coming up soon for all the professional BULL WANKERS out there. ROOS’ LOO CHEW POMMY tourist in south Oz has discovered A kangaroos’ darkest secret – they love eating DUNNY PAPER. Visiting Brit Matt Trayner went into the amenities block at a camping area in the Flinders Ranges National Park only to find the mixed-up marsupials chowing down on the BUM-FODDER, and the paper towels as…

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gnarly nob!

A LOCAL council in Adelaide has backed off after publishing plans for a skate park shaped like a DICK. Tea Tree Gully Council chucked an aerial view of the proposed park at Bentley Reserve on its website, COMPLETELY FAILING to realise it looked like giant WANG, complete with KNOB. Only ONE NUT, but. As soon as the design was posted snarky comments started to appear there too, such as: “Sure is a nice penis, but where’s the skate park?” and: “What a major cock up!” While one concerned citizen just wanted to know: “How long will it take to ERECT?” But the council immediately realised what GALOOTS they’d been. “AWKWARD! We’re feeling a little red faced here after posting our skate park design,” they said. “We’ve changed the photo to one that more accurately reflects what people…

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rock-a-bye sharky

HERE’s what ya do next time a giant white pointer wants to turn you into SHARK SHIT. Just rub the big fella on the nose, and if you get it right it’ll be so chilled out it’ll probably try to crawl into your lap for a snooze. If you get it wrong… well, let’s not think about that. Let’s just say you’ll probably make the evening news, and not in a good way. See, sharks’ noses are full of nerve endings and if it’s stroked the right way it makes them all peaceful and sleepy and less likely to RIP YA GUTS OUT. This diver off Augusta, WA, knew that and successfully applied the nose rub technique, thus ensuring a happy shark/ bloke encounter. See – we CAN all get along and be friends!…