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The PictureThe Picture

The Picture Issue 1917

The Picture is an Australian men’s magazine aimed at the average bloke. It’s full of local stories, nude women, puzzles, prizes and jokes.

País:
Australia
Língua:
English
Editora:
Bauer Media Pty Ltd
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US$23,61US$14,17
26 Edições

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good night & happy wanking!

IN GREAT news for dozy grub-grabbers everywhere, a German health insurance company has advised everyone to KNOCK THE TOP OFF IT in order to get a good night’s sleep. And that includes the ladies – they’ve been told that TICKLING THE TACO at bed time is the best way to get forty winks, short of watching a Cate Blanchett fillum, and we wouldn’t wish that on anyone. The company, Germany’s second biggest health insurer Barmer Krankenkasse, chucked out a Facebook post telling any of its customers that are having trouble visiting the land of nod should SORT THEMSELVES OUT, thusly: “For pulsating nights... Masturbation helps you fall asleep. If you can’t sleep again, just put your hand on yourself or get a toy to it, then sleep comes all by itself.” And there’s a…

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we’re all going on a... wumba holiday!

WE DON’T know about you, readers, but seeing Daisy Watts cavorting about wearing fuck-all in some exotic foreign joint makes us STIFF with envy. ’Cos while we’re sitting here in the Aussie winter freezing our big, blue nuts off, the Pommy model is by some spiffy hotel pool getting up to GOD KNOWS WHAT, and we would REALLY like to be there with her. See, when Daisy goes on holidays to trendy spots like Ibiza she always asks some of her spunky model mates like India Reynolds, Rosie Jones and Kelly Hall to tag along for company. They all fly out there, get dressed in a couple of bits of string and a CORK, and get stuck into the HOOLIGAN SOUP. And then it’s FUCKEN ON, readers! “We get really drunk and post loads of…

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wobbly world

GERMANY! Nadine Jansen likes to give her H-cup titties a chance to warm themselves in the sun from time to time. After all, they’ve made the German model a fucken fortune! SANTA CRUZ! You’ll notice this space-age zippin’ around machine Kally is piloting in sunny California doesn’t have any headlights. Luckily she brung her own. Impressive are they not? LAS VEGAS! Rosie’s doing a beer run for the boys before the footy. Oh yeah, and they said bring snacks. But what’s good to nibble on and goes well with beer? Titties, you bet! PRAGUE! What is it about Czech chicks and cheap elastic – they can’t seem to keep their clothes on for shit! Dakota Pink doesn’t look too worried, but. Hasn’t done her career any harm. GERMANY! Paige was being chauffeured around town and the air-con wasn’t working,…

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news flash

FACE OFF! ABRAZILIAN gang leader tried to escape from prison by dressing up as his daughter when she visited him behind bars. Prison officials reckoned he looked a bit suss on the way out and pulled off his mask. Old mate says his plan was to leave his daughter in the prison – which won’t get him nominated for Father of the Year any time soon. WHAT’S HIS NAME? A FORMER soldier who changed his surname to ‘Fu-Kennard’ for a laugh says the joke has backfired after he was denied a passport. Kenny Fu-Kennard, 33, whose surname used to be Kennard, changed his name using a deed poll in 2016. Now his application for a passport has been denied because his name ‘may cause offence’! Fu-Kennel! What’s wrong with the world?! CHRIST ON A…

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where the wild things are

BEER GOD! This is what Skippy is up to these days. DOG OF A DAY! Work Health & Safety would have a field day with this woofer. WHAT A CROC! Old mate here rocked up at a servo in Asia. Where’s Bindi Irwin when you need her? WATCH YA NECK! Giraffes don’t usually do this. We hope he crossed at the ZEBRA CROSSING. BEAR WITH ME! Instead of adopting a kid, this family got a bear. What could go wrong? HE’S TRUNK! This drunk elephant went apeshit TRUNKING the hell out of scooters. FEELIN’ HORSE! Winx has really let herself go after her retirement. BYE, POLAR! Public transport is really, REALLY rough in some parts of Russia. LIKE A TIGER! We bet they go through a shitload of Snappy Tom!…

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oz’s hottest barmaids!

WHAT goes best with the first coldie at the end of the day? Pies? Footie? MODERN ART? Nah. We reckon the most important of all is the barmaid who serves it to you. The Aussie skimpy is the backbone of this nation and without them we fail, a thirsty, fucked-up mess. So raise your glasses high in saluting these great Aussies hornbags! HOLLY, 27 Concourse Bar, Sydney, NSW Best thing about your job: “Traveling - I’ve been up most of the east coast, from Sydney to FNQ.” TIFFANY TYSON, 20 Swan Hotel, Freemantle, WA Best thing about your job: “I love the cheeky boys. I love having a joke and flirting.” DELILAH DANIELS, 28 Karratha Tavern, Karratha, WA Best thing about your job: “Being able to banter and have some fun with the mining boys.” CHAMPAGNE, 29 Penthouse Club Perth, Perth, WA Best thing about…

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