Jupiter Ascending
As the stoic half-man, half-bee Stinger Apini, Bean’s catchphrase is, “Bees don’t lie.” Or die, as it turns out.
THE ALTERNATIVE: In a shock move, all the bees in the world fly up Stinger’s backside, and sting him into the middle of next week. This is what’s known as a Jupiter ass ending. Sorry, Sean.
Pixels
As SAS officer Corporal Hill, Bean shows up for a strange but brief cameo, doesn’t die, and then buggers off. Having not died.
THE ALTERNATIVE: He’s bitten by Pac-Man, turned into a computer programme, uploaded to Netflix and spends eternity trapped in a series of Adam Sandler movies. Bad luck, Beany.
The Martian
As NASA bigwig Mitch Henderson, Bean is stoic in the face of overwhelming odds, solves a galactic crisis, and…
