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Real People

Real People Issue 33 2020

Real People is a real-life title which delivers real-life stories, puzzles (and prizes) and affordable practical advice (food, fashion & beauty).

United Kingdom
Hearst Magazines UK
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52 Ausgaben

in dieser ausgabe

1 Min.
this week in your fab value

Lord knows, there are a million things to worry about on your wedding day. A heavily pregnant bridesmaid usually isn’t one of them! It’s a rare mum-to-be who’d expect be called up to duty and asked to squeeze herself into a shiny gown to then loom, bump prominent, from all the photos. Never mind one who’s ready to pop with a baby that’s been fathered by the GROOM… Readers, it happened. Turn to p44 if you can’t wait to find out what the heck was going on. But bodies are misbehaving all over the place this week. Like Hollie’s bottom, which was minding its own business on a Cornwall beach when it became possessed by a perished seaman…(p15). Her ass, his face — there’s a joke in there. But actually…

3 Min.
comedy tot

CAPTAIN MARVEL Our daughter Emilia, three, is a superhero with attitude! She tears around the garden looking for things to rescue – which include her one-year-old brother who doesn’t always want to be rescued! Marta Richardson, Great Leighs, Essex UK A swimmer had a rude awakening when a randy seal crawled on to his back in the water. It’d mistook him for a mate! Rob Wilson, 50, had to crawl ashore to shake it off. ‘It was like a dog in season!’ Still, the experience was ‘euphoric’, ‘magical’ and ‘funny’. PEEPING TOM A bloke is blaming his cat for his wife falling pregnant. According to his post on Reddit, he figures his ‘evil genius’ ginger puss (right) raided the bathroom drawer where he keeps his johnnies and clawed a tiny hole in one! But both baby…

8 Min.
burning my bed

Pulling up in my car, I parked outside a building. Climbing out, I spied a man wearing wellies and pushing a wheelbarrow. ‘Who are you waiting for?’ he asked, grinning. It was summer 2012. Smiling back at his friendly face, I explained that I was picking up my brother, John. That was that. Days later, John asked me, ‘Did you like him?’ ‘Yes,’ I said. He and Christopher Mulready, 27, worked together in the gardens. ‘Good,’ he said, ‘because I’ve given him your address.’ A letter arrived. You are beautiful. I read on… Christopher said he’d been troubled by drink but he’d had treatment and was now sober. Been married but it didn’t work out. I was impressed by his honesty and that he’d turned his life around. He came to visit me, but that wasn’t that. It was only the…

4 Min.
the naked truth

He pulled down my shorts again. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asked. ‘Just stop,’ I begged. But he didn’t. He wouldn’t. He raped me. Shuddering sobs burst from my chest. I could barely breathe because my crying was so overwhelming. Christopher clambered off me. ‘You’re going to ring the police, aren’t you?’ he quizzed. ‘No,’ I sobbed, terrified. ‘We can work this out,’ he said. ‘We can move away and start a new life.’ ‘Yes, yes,’ I agreed, hoping this would placate him. His phone went. Instinctively, I knew it would be his friends calling, expecting him to join them. ‘I’ll be back,’ he said. Then, he leaned in closer, and repeated, ‘You’re going to ring the police.’ He grabbed my phone. ‘I’m going to lock you in.’ ‘I promise I won’t talk to the police,’ I said. ‘Don’t lock me in.…

8 Min.
first and last

Her screams bounced off the walls. I rocked my baby Iylah, pacing around the living room, but it was no use. ‘I know what’ll fix you,’ I decided. Grabbing the remote, I switched on Peppa Pig. Instantly she calmed down and fixated on the TV. Her tears dried and bright blue eyes glistened with happiness as Peppa and George snorted away. ‘Guess I’ve only got myself to blame,’ I thought. ‘I was in awe she was mine’ When I was pregnant, I played the cartoons on my phone and held it over my tummy so she could hear. Even then, she kicked excitedly whenever she heard their voices. Now, Iylah was four months old. And watching her stare at the TV, I stared at her, still in awe that she was mine. Funny how I’d never been that broody. My partner…

3 Min.
swing out, sister!

With a little’un at either side of me, I shouted for my eldest to come over. ‘I’m heading home with the kids,’ I told Layani, 14. ‘Don’t be late back.’ ‘I won’t,’ she promised. We were in the park but I needed to get my 10 and eight-year-old ready for bed. I didn’t mind Layani staying a bit late with her mates, letting off some steam after four months in lockdown. But I’d only just got the younger two into their jammies when my phone buzzed. ‘Mum, don’t go mad,’ Layani began. ‘What is it?’ I sighed. ‘I’m stuck on a swing,’ she said. ‘You’re what?!’ I burst out. The clown had tried to squeeze herself into a baby swing, no doubt egged on by the laughter of her mates. ‘I was only going on it for five minutes,’ she…