SkillSet

When Ben, Gina and I were kicking around possible cover story ideas, we went down the usual gamut of categories. We considered athletes, movie stars, politicians, etc., but none of these people really seemed worthy of your hard-earned money. Something had been missing from our previous 20 issues, and we couldn’t really put our finger on it. What could we present to our Skillsetfam that would be deserving of your seal of approval? Then, a few days later we had a water pipe burst in the middle of the night, and we were really in a mess. After a few phone calls, a nameless plumber showed up at our door and immediately went to work. There were no formalities, no bragging about his work qualifications; he just smiled, turned his hat…

POPE’N AIN’T EASY When you think of a Catholic Pope, you imagine the holiest of the holy, the purest of the pure … that is, unless you are talking about the Spanish Palmarian Catholic Church’s Pope Gregory XVIII. It seems that when Gregory’s black robe came off, a black ski mask went on. That’s right, once his tour of duty as a Palmarian Pope was over, he left the faith, married one of his nuns, stole a BMW and beat the shit out of a couple bishops with a hammer. He was convicted and sentenced to six years in prison, but, by the “grace of God,” he got his sentence reduced to probation. With a rap sheet like that, I’m sure we will see his character on the next release of…

A sweater worn by the late Kurt Cobain sold in 2019 for $334,000. In the mid-1700s, eating potatoes was considered a punishment in France. Outside of Japan, Brazil has the largest population of Japanese people. A town in New Zealand pays a wizard $16,000 a year to provide “acts of wizardry.” A man purchased a Volvo in 1966 and drove it over 3.25 million miles until his death in 2018. Ancient Rome had female gladiators called “gladiatrix.” Since its opening day 50 years ago, a dozen original workers are still employed at Florida’s Disney World. William Wrigley invented direct mail marketing back in 1915 when he mailed a pack of Wrigley’s gum to every person in the phone directory in the United States. Florida’s slogan, “The Sunshine State,” was stolen from New Mexico. The first functioning gear mechanism…

When most people think of February, the holiday their minds go to naturally is Valentine’s Day. Not in this mind, folks! My mind drifts to that classic SNL skit that features Adam Sandler and Chris Farley: “Lunch Lady Land.” And all I hear is them singing about hoagies and grinders. Why hoagies and grinders, you ask? Well, what else do you serve at a Super Bowl party? These, and all kinds of other wonderful snacks and edible accoutrements, that is. LUCKILY, I’M HERE TO WALK YOU THROUGH THE INS AND OUTS OF HOSTING A SUPER BOWL PARTY—the real holiday of February—and all the amazing food that comes along with it. Besides, who needs a holiday that Hallmark made up to tell your significant others that you love them? Just stuff their…

Forget Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis or even Samuel L. Jackson. Gene Hackman is the ultimate movie tough guy. The reasons why are too numerous to be distilled into just eight, but we’re going to try anyway. In fact, we’re about to cram so much Hackman knowledge down your gullet, you’ll be enraged at the sight of Denzel Washington. Younger readers who may not be Hack-fans should know that by the time Arnold Schwarzenegger was born, Hackman had already lied about his age to join the Marine Corps and was shoving guns in people’s faces for a decade before Dwayne Johnson ever existed. So, let’s take a moment to tip our porkpie hats to a guy who would intimidate Chuck Norris. 1: HACKMAN’S SIGNATURE MOVE IS AN OPEN-PALM SLAP Every tough-guy actor has his own…

IN 1979 a battle raged in the heart of the Jicarilla Apache Reservation. U.S. Army special forces responded by bringing to bear all the firepower at their disposal. Reportedly, 60 humans died in the fighting. No one knows about it because it all happened at the top-secret construction site of an underground government bunker in Dulce, New Mexico. The attackers, according to late government whistleblower Phil Schneider, are another reason the incident remains classified. He claimed to be one of three survivors of the battle between elite Green Berets and malodorous “grey” aliens. Schneider was an explosives expert who was hired to help clear the way for a massive, underground complex that included seven levels, a UFO landing entrance and a tunnel for a shuttle that ran to nearby Los Alamos National…