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Australian PenthouseAustralian Penthouse

Australian Penthouse

Spring 2019

An international men's magazine focused on glamour photography and lifestyle.

País:
Australia
Idioma:
English
Editor:
Global Media & Entertainment Pty Ltd
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from the editor-in-chief

By the time this magazine hits the stands Israel Folau may be old news, but the fallout from the all-star rugby player’s dismissal will impact the way we talk about free speech well into the future. Folau, in case you’ve been living under a rock, was sacked by Rugby Australia after posting on his Instagram an image that said, “Hell awaits… drunks, homosexuals, adulterers, liars, fornicators, thieves, atheists, and idolaters.” Folau added also: “Those that are living in Sin will end up in Hell unless you repent. Jesus Christ loves you and is giving you time to turn away from your sin and come to him.” I don’t agree with his words – being big fans of fornicators at Penthouse, my colleagues and I are among those Folau has condemned to hell…

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trumpy bear breaks the internet

THE hottest toy of the year has hit the market – and just in time for Christmas. Trumpy Bear, the “fearless, super-plush American grizzly” sports a Trumpesque comb-over combined with signature red tie. And it is – in a highly competitive field – the most ridiculous thing we saw last year. “The wind whispered through the forest”, begins the now famous ad that brought Trumpy Bear to the world’s attention. “A storm is coming. You cannot defeat the storm”. The over-the-top ad and sheer silliness of the toy raised a few eyebrows across the internet, leading many to conclude the bear is some kind of hoax. Myth-debunking website snopes.com contacted the retailers, Exceptional Products Inc., for comment on the bizarre toy and received a few interesting answers to their enquiries. First,…

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not the reich time nor place

FELLOW trick or treaters in Owenburg, Ohio were none too happy to see a local area man dressed head to toe in full Nazi regalia along with his young son, sporting a brown shirt, red armband with swastika and little “Hitler mo’” at a local Halloween event. More surprising, though, was the guy’s shock and frustration with the way his creative costumes were received. Outraged, he took to Facebook, ranting about his ill-treatment at the hands of “the so-called ‘Tolerant Left’”. “Tonight grown adults threatened a child over his costume. Threatened his mom and dad as well,” Goldbach wrote. “Threatened to rip his outfit off of him screaming obscenities, scareing (sic) a small child.” Goldbach said he and his family “love history, and often dress the part of historical figures.” He’s a dumbass, but…

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bad cops

WHAT ya gonna do? – when a prison guard boils a mentally ill inmate alive by locking him in a scolding hot shower? You give him more power and admit him into the local area police force – where he will go on to commit a series of transgressions ranging from the hilariously incompetent to the grossly negligent. And then you nominate him for a local policing award. Seriously. In 2012, as a prison guard in Miami Gardens, Roland Clarke locked inmate Darren Rainey in a shower cell with the water on and the temperature dangerously high. The prisoner, who was serving two years for cocaine possession, suffered from schizophrenia. It is believed that Clarke left him in the boiling hot shower for two hours as a form of punishment. When…

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greece tells fat people to get off their asses

THE Greek government has banned obese tourists from riding donkeys after campaigners said the animals were being left with spinal injuries. Donkey rides are a popular way of getting around for tourists on the famously stepped and hilly island of Santorini. Up until recently, the poor equines were forced to endure long working days, seven days a week without shelter, rest or water – and just to top it off, they’d get their spine readjusted daily by some fat-arsed Pommy tourist. Campaigners drew attention to the problem, exposing the shoddy conditions the donkeys lived in and the spinal injuries they suffered as a result of overburdening. The Greek government introduced new legislation requiring clean food and water be provided to all working equines each day and requiring a load limit of 100…

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peanut butter is not for that

A 22-YEAR-OLD Scotsman was found unconscious in his apartment, without testicles, soaked in blood, with peanut butter spread across his genital region. The culprit? His own stupidity, really. And an old British Bulldog by the name of “Biggie”. After awakening from a coma, the young man revealed that he attempted to entice Biggie by smearing sandwich spread across his nethers. The dog gobbled it up and in the process, removed the ballsy young chap’s sack permanently. Maybe it was an act of revenge for neutering him? We’ll never know – besides the fact dogs can’t talk – poor old Biggie was put down. Which is sad, because we really think the dog did us a favour – he allowed nature to take its course by ensuring his owner would never breed.…

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