Sommaire pour ISSUE 794 de Closer

The clocks have gone forward, bulbs are blooming, shops are awash with Easter eggs and the kids are thrilled to have two weeks off school – Spring’s finally here! Now’s the time to make memories and give yourself, your family and home a reboot. This week, we’ve got a fab guide to family days out (lots of them are free). Indulge your sweet tooth on p65 with our tasty lemon gin & tonic cake. In our interiors special starting on p56, Anthea Turner shares her kitchen style, and we’ve got loads of tips to give your home a quick, affordable makeover. Plus, treat yourself with our 25 per cent off Kelly Hoppen offer. And, of course, our fashion and beauty pages are bursting with amazing buys to revamp your look.…

❛ SHE HATES OTHER WOMEN HANGING AROUND HIM, SHE FINDS IT DISRESPECTFUL ❜ He’s been a heartthrob for more than two decades – but insiders say David Beckham’s sex symbol status has again upset Posh, his wife of 18 years, after he was pictured with young models in South Africa last week. David flew to Johannesburg to throw a party promoting his Haig Club Clubman Whisky, and rubbed shoulders with local celebrities and DJs. MAKING A FUSS A source reveals, “Victoria understands that women will always flock to David for selfies and make a fuss of him, but she finds it difficult seeing all the pictures, especially because of the speculation it causes. “It’s particularly hard when she feels they don’t get to spend enough time together as a couple…

She said winning last year’s Celebrity Big Brother was the start of a new chapter, revealing she could “start afresh” and shake off her party girl image. But Sarah Harding, 36, appeared to have performed a U-turn last week after she was pictured looking dishevelled as she left a party, stumbling in front of photographers. The photos even prompted fans to compare her to former alcoholic and cocaine addict Danniella Westbrook, taking to social media to beg her to “get the help she needs soon”. Now a source close to the former Girls Aloud star – who has been single since her three-month romance with Celebrity Big Brother housemate Chad Johnson crumbled in November – says she’s struggling after her triumph on CBB failed to kick-start her flagging career. INSECURITIES…

DANCING DREAMS Growing up in Bishop Auckland near Newcastle, Scarlett started ballroom dancing at the age of six. She was taught by Strictly pro Anton du Beke and went on to compete in UK and European contests. REALITY BITES In 2013 she got her first taste of stardom in MTV’s Beauty School Cop Outs. Contestants lived in a house while being taught the tricks of the trade, with Scarlett stripping down to her knickers to become a spray-tan tester. HITTING THE LIMELIGHT Shooting to fame on Gogglebox in 2014, Scarlett soon became known for cracking jokes alongside her parents, Betty and Mark. JUNGLE WINNER After stealing the crown on I’m A Celeb! in 2016, she became co-presenter on Extra Camp. The job offers started to roll in and she has…

He was Made In Chelsea’s bad boy with a never-ending string of girlfriends, whom he often admitted cheating on. But former Lothario Spencer Matthews seems to have turned over a new leaf since meeting Irish model Vogue Williams, with the loved-up couple revealing last week that they’re expecting their first child. Spencer, 28, and Vogue, 32, shared their happy news two months after they got engaged. Spencer said at the time, “I’ve known Vogue was The One for a long time. We’re very happy and in love. She’s my best friend.” But insiders say friends were initially sceptical about the relationship, and didn’t believe Spencer would settle down. A source says, “Some of Spencer’s friends hadn’t taken his relationship with Vogue seriously and treated her as ‘just another’ of Spencer’s…

She lost over 3st in 2010 before she released fitness DVD Fat To Fab – but Nadia Sawalha now says it made her “miserable and upset”. The Loose Women star claimed she dropped from a size 18 to a size 8 by using her own workout DVD but, in light of the recent backlash against fitness DVDs, she recently took to social media to express her views. She wrote on Instagram, “So in 2010 I did a fitness DVD From Fat To Fab , I did it with a great company, Universal Pictures, who did not force me to go to a fat camp, who did not force me to take slimming pills, like some others do. “I did it the right way. I went on a diet. So it…

‘THE PAIN OF LOSING A BABY IS INDESCRIBABLE – WE DIDN’T KNOW WHERE TO TURN’ When Nicole Addy was 28 weeks pregnant, she went through the devastation of losing her baby daughter, Avery. But she and her partner Steven Chidgey found the strength to help others in the same situation, raising £20,000 for Tommy’s – a charity that funds research into miscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth – and £5,000 for the bereavement rooms at the hospital where Avery was born. FRIGHTENED Nicole, 27 – who works in PR and lives with Steven, 28, a personal trainer, near Manchester – raised the money after Tommy’s helped them when they were crushed by grief. And last week, she was awarded the Closer Star Fundraiser Award for her dedication and support. Nicole says,…

‘I’ll breastfeed Fifi until she wants to stop’ She hit the headlines after opening the doors to her billionaire lifestyle last year, on her show Tamara’s World – with viewers tantalised by scenes of her four-year-old daughter Sophia travelling around by private jet, modelling an array of designer clothes and playing in her own giant ball pit in their £70m mansion. And while fans were impressed by hands-on Tamara Ecclestone’s loving relationship with Sophia, whom she calls Fifi, some were quick to slam her for “spoiling” the toddler. Now defiant Tamara hits back following a stream of online abuse last week, after she held an extravagant bash for Fifi’s fourth birthday – which included gigantic piles of presents and a three-tiered Care Bears cake. She says, “Seeing Fifi being so…

GET HER LOOK MARGOT ROBBIE, 27 We love a daytime look that’s both stylish and practical, and Margot’s casual-yet-cool get-up is spot on. The coat will see you through chillier spring days, while the wide-leg jeans will work well in the summer heat. WHO WORE IT BEST? PARIS HILTON VS EMMA BUNTON It was a battle of the blonde bombshells when Paris and Emma stepped out in their matching Alice & Olivia dresses – luckily for them, on opposite sides of the Atlantic! Paris added her usual playful touch with a heart-shaped bag, while Baby Spice opted for a more classic take, including a tux thrown over her shoulders, simple clutch and her trusty Louboutin peep-toes. VERDICT: This is a tough call as both ladies looked so elegant, but we…

PEP UP A RENTED PAD PRONTO It’s difficult to put your own stamp on a rented home, especially when you often can’t even put a nail in the wall. But you can still hang up your artwork using special hanging strips – just make sure you get the right attachment for your photo frame. Lighting can transform a room, too. For an affordable touch, place uplighters by the edges of your curtains to light up the ceiling. 3 WAYS TO CHEAT SPACE • Mirrors make smaller rooms feel bigger, as the reflection gives the illusion of space. I love oversized mirrors that sit on floors. But remember that they are reflecting something, so make sure you like what they are facing! • Maximise natural light. Make the most of natural…

AMY INSIDE AMY’S FRIDGE • Actimel yoghurts• Mozzarella• Tomato purée• Dairy Milk chocolate• Butter• Eggs• Rib-eye steak• Pepperoni• Parma ham• Mayonnaise• Semi-skimmed milk• Whole milk• Pesto• Bananas• Orange• Blueberries• Peppers• Orange juice• Caesar dressing• Almond milk• Prosecco• Pink Lady apples• Broccoli How much do you spend per week? It varies as it depends what my daughter Polly [aged 10 months] needs. I spend around £120, but a little a bit more if I’m buying nappies. I’ll go to one of the main supermarkets. Describe your daily diet In the mornings I’ll feed Polly, then make porridge for myself. If I have time, I’ll make scrambled or poached egg on toast. For lunch, I’ll always have chicken as it’s my favourite meat, so I’ll roast it with broccoli, or throw it…

Before you use a trampoline, check the padding all the way around is OK, plus the crash mats surrounding it. Wear comfortable clothing that isn’t loose or flappy. Jump naturally – bend your knees, spring through your feet and lift your arms in a circular motion. Keep your body upright and land with just a slight bend in the knee. Don’t try fancy moves until you’re confident, or stare at the cross in the centre of the trampoline – you’ll lose your balance. If you go to a class, check it has an accreditation from the British Gymnastics Association.…

1 ORDEAL BY INNOCENCE AGATHA CHRISTIE DRAMA EASTER SUN, 9PM, BBC1 Perfect for Easter Sunday is this three-part Agatha Christie adaptation – based on the 1958 novel, complete with an all-star cast (Bill Nighy and Poldark’s Eleanor Tomlinson lead the way). There was a big hoo-hah when the whole thing had to be re-cast and it was pulled from the Christmas 2017 schedules (see right), but it’s definitely worth the wait. This is brilliantly acted and super-enjoyable. FACT FILE  An allegation of sexual assault was made against one of its stars – Ed Westwick (strenuously denied) – and it was re-shot with replacement actor Christian Cooke. 2 SOUNDS LIKE FRIDAY NIGHT BIG STARS HERE FRI 6 APR, 7.30PM, BBC1 Live from TV Centre in London, Greg James and Dotty are…

MUST READ Let Me Lie (CLARE MACKINTOSH) One year ago, Caroline Johnson chose to brutally end her life with a shocking suicide planned to match that of her husband’s just months before. Their daughter, Anna, has struggled to come to terms with their deaths ever since. Now with a young baby of her own, Anna starts to ask questions about her parents’ deaths. The police say it was suicide, but Anna says it was murder. They’re both wrong – and by digging up the past, is Anna putting her future in danger? A brilliant roller coaster of a read. BEST DAY OUT Monster Jam The larger-than-life Motorsport show returns to the Principality Stadium in Cardiff for another spectacular year. Watch champion drivers push themselves to the limit in both racing…

Their relationship has been under the spotlight for weeks amid rumours of trouble, and there was fresh speculation last week when Liam Payne lifted the lid on life with Cheryl in his most revealing interview yet. The 24-year-old singer addressed rumours that their romance was over, and openly admitted that he and Cheryl, 34, have had issues – but believes that’s “normal in a relationship”. Speaking about the press reports surrounding their awkward appearance at the BRITs together in February, Liam said, “The funniest thing was, a week before we were getting married, the next week we’re splitting up. For me, I just like to think we’re somewhere in the middle. You know, we have our struggles. Like of course I’m not going to sit here and say that everything’s…

She’s recently been voicing her upset over a “messed-up” face lift, and Jordan was pictured last week for the first time since her bandages came off after an op to fix it. Although the star’s face seemed back to normal, insiders reveal she is still feeling insecure over her looks, and her insecurities have her re-thinking her future with cheating husband Kieran Hayler, 30, again. Despite reports that Jordan, 39 – real name Katie Price – was preparing to end her five-year marriage after further cheating claims surfaced last year, insiders say she can’t quit as she’s now “panicking” no one else will find her attractive. As Closer reported last week, a surgeon warned it could take some time before her repair op would settle, and insiders say she is…

She’s fought a well-documented battle with her weight, yo-yoing between a size 8 and an 18 since finding fame in Big Brother in 2007. But Chanelle Hayes – who has gained around 7st over the past four years after letting her eating habits spiral out of control, and two slipped discs in her back meant she wasn’t able to exercise – appeared to be getting back in shape after revealing her impressive weight loss in a bikini on holiday last week. The 30-year-old star – who gave birth to second son Frankie six months ago, with her now ex-boyfriend Ryan Oates – vowed to get things back on track for the sake of her health in November, after signing up to the Celebrity Slim diet. She said at the time,…

Their unlikely romance raised eyebrows when they started dating last summer – and now reports say Chloe Green and her boyfriend, American ex-con Jeremy Meeks, are planning on starting a family as soon as possible. The 27-year-old Topshop heiress – who reportedly met Jeremy, 34, at the Cannes Film Festival last May – is said to have given up booze and is on the hunt for a family-sized apartment in Monaco, where she lives with her billionaire father Sir Philip and mother Tina. Meanwhile, her model boyfriend – who’s nicknamed “Hot Felon” and served a 27-month sentence for grand theft and possessing a firearm – has been spotted looking at pricey engagement rings in Beverly Hills, after apparently receiving the blessing of Chloe’s parents. Jeremy already has an eight-year-old son…

❛ PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO BE AT HOME WEARING SLIPPERS – I LIKE CHALLENGING THE STEREOTYPE ❜ Posing for the camera in nothing but a lacy bralet and knickers, it’s hard to believe that part-time model Carrie Hilton is a grandma. In fact, the 36 year old looks so youthful, she says she’s even been mistaken for a teenager. Carrie, from Bolton, hit the headlines after her daughter, Clarice, 18, gave birth to Jessica, now seven-months-old, making Carrie Britain’s most glam gran. Since then, she’s gained almost 10,000 followers on social media – and has even had to turn down offers of sex and marriage from fans. PROPOSITIONS She explains, “I never expected so much attention. I often get propositioned by young guys on Facebook, and sugar daddies offer to…

Jaws dropped when tattoed rapper Professor Green, who was raised by his grandmother on a Hackney council estate, started dating uber-posh confectionary heiress and Made In Chelsea star Millie Mackintosh in 2011. Their relationship was dismissed at the start, with critics suggesting it was little more than a publicity stunt. But despite their very different backgrounds, they appeared set to go the distance when they married at Somerset’s Babington House in 2013. Fast-forward two-and-half years and the couple had separated amid reports she was reluctant to have children. LEARNING FROM THE PAST Reflecting on that chapter of his life, Professor Green, 34 – real name Stephen Manderson – feels he learned a lot from being with Millie, 28. He tells Closer, “It’s not a case of once bitten, twice shy.…

She vowed that she was finally comfortable in her own skin in 2014 but, last week, Chloe Sims showed off the results of her latest bum enlargement. The TOWIE favourite flew out to Marbella earlier this year to undergo a Brazilian butt lift, which involves removing fat from one area of the body and using it to reshape the bum. And the star tells Closer she couldn’t be happier with the results. Chloe tells us, “I love my new bum, but I probably wouldn’t do it again because of the recovery time. You’re not allowed to sit down for four weeks and I had to sleep on my tummy. Fortunately, I’ve got a wide sofa, so I could lay on my belly watching TV.” It’s not the first time Chloe…

JUST LANDED HIGH BROW L’ORÉAL PARIS BROW ARTIST MICRO TATTOO 24HR EYEBROW DEFINER WHAT MAKES IT DIFFERENT: It’s a brow pen with three tiny tips that create detailed brush strokes, which look like natural hairs. It comes in six shades, so there’s a match for everyone. WHY WE LOVE IT: Inspired by the microblading trend – which can cost hundreds – the brush tips really do replicate the look of brow hairs, so it’s great if you’ve over-plucked. It takes some practice to master it but, once you do, it’s brilliant. GET THE LOOK... FLAWLESS SKIN Find a primer that’s right for your complexion to achieve a perfect glow, like Olivia and Jennifer… ❶ FIGHTS FATIGUE BOURJOIS HEALTHY MIX PRIMER £9.99 This new primer has a built-in “anti-fatigue” complex that…

VICTORIA & DAVID BECKHAM’S CITY SWANK Surprisingly understated, the new Beckingham Palace in west London is decked out in neutrals, with monochrome accents, industrial fittings and homely furniture. KELLY BROOK’S COTTAGE CHIC Kelly’s Tudor farmhouse in Kent comes with a rustic kitchen and is packed with shabby chic furniture and traditional touches. GIOVANNA & TOM FLETCHER’S PLAYFUL PAD This young family home in the London suburbs offers a fun mix of colourful chairs, neon lights and plush velvet sofas.…

ANIMAL INSTINCT Create safari vibes with this giraffe lamp. The ultimate finishing touch to any room, this statement piece is guaranteed to stand tall above the rest. DUNELM £55 CURVE BALL Double up on this sleek, arched creation to add a swanky, modern touch to a pair of bedside tables. JOHN LEWIS £35 HOT WIRE From illuminating a hallway to shining bright in the kitchen, this industrial design oozes urban chic and originality. MADE.COM £29 RETRO CHIC Introduce a touch of glamour with this art deco-meets-’70s lamp. Dark navy or grey backdrops make the perfect partner. MADE.COM £69 SHEER BRILLIANCE This ornamental glass lamp is like no other, and looks just as good switched off as it does on. It will transform a tired space into a cool focal point. DEBENHAMS £70…

FAMILY MATTERS IF YOUR KIDS VLOG, GET INVOLVED! With 13 per cent of 11 to 16 year olds vlogging or running their own blog, Emma says parents need to pay attention In recent research, young people rated being a vlogger or a blogger as their most popular career choices – and with millionaire YouTubers like Zoella, it’s no surprise. My boys both have YouTube channels and I genuinely approve, because anything that gives them confidence and sees them making their mark on the world is a good thing – but safety is paramount. Research has shown that only around half of parents in the UK have spoken to their children about what they share online. That’s not OK! The web allows anyone with a camera to get involved, but it…

What can you tell us about the new Generation Game ? SUE: Four words: Clay, sausages, Danny Dyer. How does it feel to be bringing back the show? MEL: It’s a privilege. This is one of the most cherished entertainment shows of all time and we don’t take that lightly. SUE: We’ve stayed true to the spirit of the original – we meet great families and we try to give them the best night of their lives. What were your favourite moments during filming? SUE: We don’t want to spoil the surprise, but we witnessed some of the most graphic teapot spouts ever made on television. So graphic, some of the contestants needed counselling afterwards. It took us about an hour to stop laughing. Did you…

IF IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK You could butt up against authority this year, thanks to a Sun/ Saturn square in your chart. Good news; it could be that any obstacles are there to show you that you can overcome them and to make you realise how resilient you are. So don’t give up! THIS WEEK’S CELEB STAR SIGN ARIES 21 MAR-19 APR Matters in an important relationship are coming to a climax. Go easy, because the energies are affecting your chart in your professional and personal sectors. If you feel hemmed in, breathe, rather than overreacting. This will pass quickly. Find out where the Full Moon is affecting you – call 0906 7511 677* TAURUS 20 APR-20 MAY You can expect to spend the start of the week on…

• Ant McPartlin returns to rehab after shock drink-driving charge • Pals say his estranged wife, Lisa Armstrong, reached out to encourage him to get more help • As his TV career lies in tatters, he vows to conquer his demons for good He’d already endured a turbulent year, with a stint in rehab for addiction to prescription painkillers and a very public marriage breakdown. But last week, Ant McPartlin was plunged deeper into crisis when he was charged with drink-driving, following a three-car smash near his home – leading to a return to rehab. In footage filmed on a bystander’s mobile phone, a shaken-looking Ant was seen getting out of his badly damaged car, in which his mum, Christine Woodhall, and pet Labrador, Hurley, had been passengers. The father…

She might be a self-professed animal lover, but Jordan sparked a fierce backlash after posing in a pink fur stole and matching headband at the Cheltenham Festival earlier this month. Sharing a snap of her outfit via Instagram, the former glamour model tagged designer Furs by Natalia, which uses raccoon fur for its coats and parkas – prompting an onslaught from angry fans. One disappointed fan said, “Real fur… as a so-called animal lover, you should hang your head”, while another branded her an “absolute disgrace”. But Jordan – whose pet menagerie includes dogs, cats, horses and even goats – was seemingly defiant in the face of the backlash, posting a photo of herself online a few days later in what appeared to be a real fur-trimmed parka. After sparking…

BETHANY SHIPSEY In February 2017, Bethany died after overdosing on diet pills. The 21 year old had a history of mental health issues, including an eating disorder, and began taking the pills which contained the highly toxic chemical DNP. On the day she died, Beth messaged a friend with “tear emojis” and told her about her overdose – her parents were alerted and she was rushed to Worcestershire hospital. However, she later died. ELOISE AIMEE PARRY Eloise, 21, bought a number of diet pills containing toxic chemical DNP from the internet. Tragically, the student overdosed in April 2015 after taking eight in one day and doctors couldn’t stabilise her. Her mother, Fiona, later said, “When her heart stopped they couldn’t revive her. She’d crashed. She’d taken so much DNP that…

❛SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CAN’T ESCAPE CRITICISM, NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES❜ They famously lost a whopping 7st between them after releasing their own diet DVDs – but last week, Lauren Goodger and Vicky Pattison came under fire after celebrity personal trainer David Souter lifted the lid on how the girls really lost weight. The former reality stars came under scrutiny hot on the heels of TV presenter Scarlett Moffatt, who reportedly faces a £100,000 bill after it emerged her 3st weight loss was the result of “starving herself” on a 700-calorie daily diet and exercising for six hours a day on a Swiss bootcamp, rather than following her workout DVD as she claimed. Now, trainer David – who has worked with several reality stars – blasted the fitness DVDs…

‘ Jeremy won’t find love on Naked Attraction!’ Jeremy McConnell is rumoured to have signed up to nude dating show Naked Attraction for Channel 4’s Stand Up To Cancer. If true, it’s admirable – but part of me can’t really believe it. I can’t understand why anyone would go on that show, where they’re judged on their various body parts by a potential date. I certainly wouldn’t! I’ve never met him, but Jeremy’s got a bit of a bad boy reputation, so I doubt he’ll find lasting love on the show. He's not my type, although I’m sure there’ll be lots of girls who fancy him. But how can anyone guess whether someone might be the perfect partner by looking at their penis or vagina? What happened to the beauty…

She famously had her pout boosted with filler live on Snapchat, shortly after joining TOWIE in 2016 – but Megan McKenna tells Closer she won’t succumb to the pressure to have plastic surgery on her body. The Celebrity Big Brother star – who is rumoured to have had Botox despite being only 25 – says she’d rather embrace her natural assets. She tells Closer, “I like natural – I’m just not a fan of the big boobs and the big bum look, really. It’s just not me and it doesn’t look normal. “Obviously, I know people who’ve had surgery – and I understand if you’re doing it for insecurity issues – but I’m happy with my boobs, my bum and my figure. Natural is the way forward – everyone’s naturally…

She’s had a string of high-profile romances – including a turbulent on/off relationship with Geordie Shore co-star Aaron Chalmers, an engagement to TOWIE star Ricky Rayment and a six-month relationship with TOWIE star Lewis Bloor. But now that Marnie Simpson has found true love with Casey Johnson, she says she’ll never look back. The 26-year-old brunette met former X Factor contestant Casey while she was filming MTV’s Single AF in June last year, and the couple are now happier than ever. And after being cheated on by her ex-boyfriend Lewis, Marnie is adamant Casey will never be unfaithful to her knowing the heartache that she’s been through. NEW CONFIDENCE She says, “I was in a bad relationship before with Lewis and so Casey has definitely given me that relationship confidence…

Lipsticks are big business, and the market is always on the lookout for something new. So for this season, make-up pros and A-listers are ditching traditional reds and glossy pinks for midnight-blue shades. But can this goth-inspired look really work for us mere mortals, or is it best saved for fancy dress parties and the red carpet? We pucker up and put the tricky blue hue to the test… WE TRY IT OUT! DEPUTY STYLE EDITOR, MATILDA SAYS, “I’m a bit lipstick obsessed, though I’d never considered wearing blue. It was quite fun experimenting with such a bold shade, but I felt so self-conscious once it was on and worried about smearing more than I would normally. I love a statement, but this was too much for me!” STYLE WRITER…

‘ I LOST A QUARTER OF A MILLION QUID’ Big Brother star Josie Gibson, 33, discusses her financial woes, impulse buys and shopping addiction MY FIRST JOB WAS SHREDDING PAPER “I worked for a bedding company, shredding all their documents. I’d work from 6am until 6pm and get £25 for the day. My job after that was working for a shoe-cleaning brand. I’d travel with them to trade shows and clean people’s shoes for them to try to sell the product. The worst thing was when I once looked up and realised I was preening my old Science teacher’s shoes. He looked down at me as if to say, ‘I knew you’d end up cleaning shoes!’ I’d make commission but, by the time I’d bought food from the other stalls…

Julia’s episode – for American Red Nose Day – sees the actress deliver life-saving vaccines to children in Kenya with adventurer Bear, and begins with Julia shrieking in terror when she has to board a tiny plane. Dressed down and make-up free, Julia hikes across the baking African plains in a bid to move vital vaccines from a Kenyan children’s hospital to a remote village. Bear and Julia – mum to twins Hazel and Phinnaeus, 13, and Henry, 10 – hope their assistance on the show will help prevent deaths from rotavirus, pneumonia and polio. Julia has to get the vaccines to their destinations before they get too warm – which involves crossing rough terrain in a jeep, and tackling a river. The only way to cross it was over…

MIC’s Sam finds work as a loo- roll dispenser. Literally scraping the bottom… of the barrel. Rita announces her and Liam’s follow-up to their Fifty Shades Of Grey song: Shifty Birds Of Prey. DENISE WELCH... That’s good to know, Denise. Last time we had one of those slobby Saturdays, we were even lazier – we just used a bucket. PARIS HILTON... If we lived by your philosophy, Paris, we’d all spend our lives at Office, buying replacement shoes – and we don’t have a Fairy Godmother to pay for them! INSPIGRAM DAWN O’PORTER We’re a bit broke at the mo, Dawn, so they’re: 1) How much cash is in your bank account? 2) Where’s your debit card? 3) What’s your PIN number? JODIE MARSH When Jodie disappeared into the kitchen…