Real People Issue 49 2021

Real People is a real-life title which delivers real-life stories, puzzles (and prizes) and affordable practical advice (food, fashion & beauty).

United Kingdom
Hearst Magazines UK
52 Issues

in this issue

1 min

Memo to self… Things to sort out for the big 25 December eat-a-thon. 1) Source turkey – rare as hen’s teeth this year? 2) Work out a new way to hide the Brussels sprouts (if you want to know why they’re so hated, we’ve got the answer on p22). 3) Get hubby to practise his carving (not much point slaving in the kitchen if he’s only going to turn it all into an episode of Dexter once the knife’s in his hand!) But let me tell you what I won’t be planning for – a marauding blonde bursting into the house just as we finish feasting and beating me up! That’s exactly what happened to poor Carrie after she served up a wonderful festive family spread (p6). It was Boxing…

2 min
our mad world!

Tinsel TOTS HE’S COMING! My hubby, James, perfectly captured the anticipation of our tots last Crimbo. Emilia, four, and Sean, two, just couldn’t hide it! Marta Richardson, Great Leighs USA A Maryland couple has been caught trying to sell nuclear secrets. Jonathan and Diana Toebbe hid digital cards with secret info in peanut butter sarnies left at drop-off points. The foreign buyers offering big cash were actually FBI agents. Oops! MY MUM AND ONLY! My mum, Lesley Dunn, is mad about Crimbo. She buys her pressies early and can often be seen in this Chesney Hawkes jumper well into January! Wouldn’t change her for the world. Nicola Rolfe, Upminster SMOOTH TALKERS According to a new survey, some Brit accents get the juices flowing. Others don’t… MOST ATTRACTIVE ● Scottish ● Geordie ● Welsh ● Northern Irish ● Queen’s English LEAST ATTRACTIVE ● Essex ● Leeds ● Brummie ● Cockney ● Scouser Source: Happn…

8 min
turkey & trouble

Oh my days. What a spectacle… The woman was wearing a low-cut green jumpsuit and cursing like a sailor at the top of her ample lungs. As I watched, she wobbled on her feet in the kebab shop. ‘Please don’t swear,’ one of the staff was pleading. ‘F**k your mother,’ the woman raged. Charming! Slurring, swaying, daring them to call the cops on her, she was wild, pickled and out of control. ‘Where’s the food?!’ she roared. ‘The food you just threw there,’ a man said, peeling a kebab off the floor. Only for her to side-swipe it straight back on to the tiles and start screaming, ‘You raped me!’ At that very moment, one of her boobs flopped out. She turned into a hellcat, tearing at the staff’s clothes, spitting at them. All while she could hardly stand and ended…

4 min
just desserts

Soon I was in the resus unit at Victoria Hospital, Kirkcaldy. ‘CT scan, possible fractured skull, possible swelling on the brain…’ the docs said. That bad? Had she half-killed me? The scan, however, showed no fracture or swelling. But she’d broken my nose and knocked me clean out for an hour. On Christmas Day! I was suffering concussion. ‘I just want to go home,’ I said, after six hours. ‘OK,’ said the consultant, ‘but only on the condition that you’re watched carefully for 72 hours.’ I arrived home still in my blood-soaked PJs. ‘What happened?’ I asked Stan. My head was still aching and throbbing with pain, but I wanted to know. Stan explained that Anne Marie Fowler had run into our house, chasing a terrified Daisy and her friend. Bizarrely, she’d claimed the two girls had been laughing at her in…

1 min
real people roulette

1 Find and cross out three exotic fruits. 2 What fruit is traditionally used to flavour gin? 3 What two colours appear on the Sainsbury’s logo? 4 In Greek mythology, who was the chief god? 5 When did Boris Johnson become the Prime Minister? 6 Who created the animated family The Simpsons? 7 Which pop star’s real name is Harry Webb? 8 In which month is the French celebration of Bastille Day? 9 On which continent does the cuckoo spend the winter? 10 Find and cross out three Scottish rivers. 11 What two main colours appear on Arsenal’s first choice shirt? 12 Of which country is Copenhagen the capital? 13 On a French menu, what does ‘agneau’ mean? 14 In which year did the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor happen? 15 What was composer Mozart’s first name? 16 What is the first name of Mrs…

8 min
fate crasher

Pain rolled through my stomach like a jagged boulder. I oofed and grunted. Alarmed, my hubby, Mike, 24, squeezed my hand. ‘I wish I could help,’ he said. My reply was a bellow of agony. I blimmin’ wished he could too! This was women’s business but, of course, he’d landed me here. It was 24 May 2020 and I was on the labour ward in Wigan Hospital, legs wide open and a midwife with her hand in me – seemingly halfway up to my throat! ‘You’re doing really well,’ she said, finishing up the examination. ‘But you’re still not quite 10cm dilated. I’ll be back soon.’ Not even ready to push! ‘Oh my God!’ I screamed. It was my first baby and no one had told me it’d be quite this painful. Whatever they tell you,…