SkillSet Spring 2020

i got 2020 vision …

Wait … what? 2019 is already over? It’s amazing how fast time flies when you are living the Alpha Lifestyle! That said, we are starting to roll into a very important year for this big ball of dirt we call planet Earth. Lots of incredible things are coming down the pipe, so listen up! First things first: If you are an avid listener of our Skillset Live podcast, then you will be happy to know that we are adding a few new shows! That’s right, for you die-hard gun guys and gals, get ready for a fresh new 2A podcast, and if you love cheesy, low-budget action movies, Missing the Action will also have its very own show! Our goal is to fill your earholes with tons of new content every…

insider info

TURTLES AFTER DARK In the original Jurassic Park from 1993, the sound department had to go a little wild. It turns out that to produce the sound effects for the menacing velociraptors, the sound engineers actually recorded tortoises having sex. The best part of this story is that somewhere deep in Hollywood, a production assistant has this on his résumé. YOU ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST OF THE BEST New York resident Ashrita Furman actually holds the world record for holding the most world records. This Brooklyn native holds more than 600 Guinness World Records, ranging from the fastest mile on a pogo stick in Antarctica to performing the most forward rolls in the 12-mile stretch of Paul Revere’s ride in Massachusetts. 85 % Percentage of things you stress out about that never,…

sorry, not sorry: are you a social a**hole?

No matter what you may think in that optimistic little heart of yours, as a society we have passed the point of no return—we have become a nation almost overrun by social assholes. These are the kinds of people that, if you weren’t more civilized (and concerned about felonious assault charges), you would teach how to eat their own teeth. From phrases like “Sorry, not sorry” to “OK, boomer,” society has normalized the confrontational personality. We have done away with manners, common decency, treating others as we would want to be treated and compassion. Instead, we have replaced these with trolling, virtue signaling and being offended by whatever it was that used to bring us joy. But there is always hope; the pendulum could swing back toward normalcy. Therefore, on that note,…

send noods

Everyone has been there—you are in a hurry for some quick grub after a long day of trying to scare protesters off your lawn. As you push aside the week-old bologna and the leftover sushi that is starting to smell funky, you realize you have some things in the pantry that you might be able to whip together to make into something edible. I have spent much time experimenting with these sorts of “found-food” recipes myself, and I have curated a collection of them that are so quick and easy that even Hesher hopped up on jenkem could manage to make them taste great and look sophisticated, even on a Styrofoam plate. In the first installment of this column, we will delve into the world of ramen noodles in all of…

so, you can’t make bail...

In our last issue, we discussed what to expect during your first night in jail. Jail is a harsh reality that some might have to face, so it is always best to be prepared. We ended that article with the possibility of you making bail, but what if that doesn’t happen? Don’t worry kid, just like that 6-foot-2-inch 300-pound monster who is waiting for you in the showers, we have your back. Once it has been determined that you won’t be going home immediately after your initial appearance, you will be housed in a jail based on your security classification. This is determined by the severity of your crime and your previous criminal history. The classification scale generally goes from minimum to maximum security. To put it in a crime-based perspective,…

rambo legit or full of shit?

In 1982, Hollywood introduced the world to Green Beret Vietnam veteran and “winner of the Congressional Medal of Honor and survivor of countless incursions behind enemy lines” John Rambo. Little did anyone know then that the character would survive for over three decades and through five movies in a franchise that would come to be known around the world. Rambo became Sylvester Stallone’s defining role as an action hero, and countless numbers of us took to the woods as kids to “play Rambo.” As Rambo: Last Blood wraps up its distribution in cinemas and fans wonder if this will be the last time we see Rambo on the silver screen, we wanted to go back to the earlier Rambo movies (since we’re a little older now) to test some of his…