The Oldie June 2021

Robert Bathurst (p24) is in The Mezzotint (BBC4) and Munich (Netflix), coming out later this year. He is co-directing The Fall, a film about jockeys. He starred in Cold Feet. Anne Sebba (p36) is the author of Ethel Rosenberg: A Cold War Tragedy, published on 24th June. She also wrote That Woman: The Life of Wallis Simpson, Duchess of Windsor. Christopher Douglas (p13) plays Ed Reardon in Ed Reardon’s Week (Radio 4), which begins a new series on 9th June. He also writes the series, with Andrew Nickolds. Philip Norman (p11) wrote Shout!: The Beatles in Their Generation, The Stones: The Acclaimed Biography, John Lennon: The Life and Paul McCartney: The Biography.…

* Our radio correspondent, Valerie Grove, has just unearthed a shaming letter she received from the great comedian Barry Cryer in 1970. At the time she was, briefly, standing in as TV previewer for the Evening Standard. ‘Dear Valerie,’ wrote Barry, ‘I must thank you on behalf of those readers of the Standard who do not own a copy of Movies on TV by Leslie Halliwell and have therefore been saved 7/6d – as your film previews appear to be taken verbatim from this book, coupled with a few gems from the Radio and TV Times. Why not throw in one or two original thoughts of your own? Or are you, as I suspect, much too young to know, or even have heard of, many of the films in question? ‘If so, my…

Open windows at school shock mum Nottingham Post Man hid in bush after breaking into dentists Inverness Courier Man jailed after breaking into cinema and stealing fizzy drinks Lincolnshire Live £15 for published contributions NEXT ISSUE The July issue is on sale on 30th June 2021. FREE SAMPLE COPY If you have a friend who would like a free sample of The Oldie, tell them to call 0800 8565867. GET THE OLDIE APP Go to App Store or Google Play Store. Search for Oldie Magazine and then pay for app. OLDIE BOOKS The Best of The Oldie Cartoons 1992-2018, The Oldie Annual 2020 and other Oldie books are available at: www.theoldie.co.uk/readerscorner/shop Free p&p. OLDIE NEWSLETTER Go to the Oldie website; put your email address in the red SIGN UP box.…

Catching sight of Elizabeth Hurley’s breasts on page 87 of the Spring issue of The Oldie reminded me of several things, as you might imagine. Chief among them, beyond the fact that this magazine never ceases to surprise me, was a sudden vivid recollection of the night Ms Hurley taught me that in this country we seem to need royalty. Back in June 2003, I helped out at a charity gala at Grosvenor House. The charity (for children with Down’s Syndrome) was one that had been close to the heart of Diana, Princess of Wales. But for her tragic death, she would have been there as guest of honour. Because she couldn’t be, Liz Hurley came in her place – and played her part to perfection. Beautiful, gracious and friendly (with just…

The hijacking of the cargo ship Albedo was living proof that worse things happen at sea. Its 23 crew were captured by Somali pirates in late 2010, only to discover that the ship’s owner lacked the money to pay a ransom. They spent the next three years stuck in captivity, often tortured by their captors, who presumed the owner’s plea of penury was just a callous negotiating ploy. One sailor was executed in cold blood; others beaten and lashed for weeks on end. Merchant mariners may bring us most of our daily goods, as the world was reminded recently when the Ever Given blocked the Suez Canal. But when they get hijacked, they seldom attract the attention of celebrities or human-rights groups. Instead, the Albedo crew’s salvation came in the rather less fashionable form…

These days of enforced solitude have increased the need for guilty pleasures, and this has been my guiltiest so far. The other day, for the first time in years, I bought myself a tube of Smarties. Only now it barely qualifies as a tube. In place of the old, cardboard cylinder (pictured), there’s a flimsy, hexagonal ‘pack’, introduced in 2005, with no plastic top (so satisfying to flick out with one’s thumb). The real let-down was what I got for 90p – a miserly 33 Smarties. This from a brand whose TV jingle in the 1950s still echoes through my brain: ‘A tube of Smarties means lots and lots of chocolate beans. Yes, you get lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of Smarties.’ And then the enigmatic pay-off that became…