Viz

◻PLEASE find attached this trademark from a box of eggs, which appears to show a chicken lifting its leg to crack off an eggy one. Susan Butcher, Australia ◻FORMER Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been criticised for meeting an ex-KGB agent without his officials present when he was foreign secretary. But I don’t think there was ever any security threat. The meeting took place at a Bunga Bunga party in an Italian castle with loads of booze, drugs and prostitutes, for heaven’s sake. They weren’t going to be standing around talking about work. Hector Popkiss, Luton ◻WHY IS it that women with itchy fannies can buy Vagisil, but there is no equivalent product for men? Quite frankly, I could do with applying a squirt of ‘Bollosil’ to my nuts most mornings. If sex equality…

LAST MONTH, the whole country was left reeling in shock over allegations that formerly popular former Prime Minister Boris Johnson had received extramarital oral sex on his office sofa. The story divided an already divided nation. Was this an unacceptable breach of public trust, or merely an act that sullied the highest office in the land? Or was it just a light-hearted method of relieving stress in a high-pressure job? We went out onto Britain’s green and pleasant streets to get YOUR views on the rights and wrongs of being sucked off in the workplace… ◻NO ONE likes going to the office, but getting sucked off would certainly make the experience more bearable. Yet again, Boris is leading from the front and setting an example that ordinary Brits would do well…

Record Collector Presents… Iron Maiden is a brand-new, one-off magazine celebrating one of the most revered and successful bands in heavy metal. Condensing the career of an outfit who have enjoyed stellar success and been sonic pioneers for over 40 years is a challenge which some of the biggest names in rock journalism have faced head-on. Here, fans and collectors will learn a wealth of new information about the band, as we trace their history from their East End roots, telling the story of all 17 studio albums as well as investigating the live albums and tour films. We profile Iron Maiden’s most collectible releases, and investigate some of their choicest memorabilia. Meanwhile, the people closest to the band tell us how they created an empire, including the phenomenon of…

SAVE 11% Receive your first 3 months for £3 on a no-obligation trial basis. If you find you simply can’t live without your fix of adult humour, your subscription means you pay as little as £3.39 a month, instead of £3.90 in the shops. You’ll also receive a FREE COPY of The Copper’s Torch as a welcome gift! CALL 0330 333 9492 OR VISIT: shop.viz.co.uk/subscriptions OR EMAIL: hello@metropolis.co.uk You will be able to view your subscription details online at https://shop.viz.co.uk/login Offer and gift is only valid to new customers and one per household. Gifts limited to the first 100 orders only. Please allow 28 days for delivery.…

SWEDEN’S Ice Hotel was famously the inspiration for the Ice Palace, fictional headquarters of Korean diamond magnate Gustav Graves in 007 film Die Another Day. Since opening its doors in 1990, the luxury establishment in the village of Jukkasjärvi has spawned dozens of copycat projects around the world. And now a Lincolnshire lord mayor has announced plans to build the world’s first Ice B&B in the Lincolnshire seaside resort of Skegness. According to councillor Athelstan Popkiss, Skeggy’s Frozen Haven Guest House will accommodate up to 10 holiday makers in 5 double bedrooms made completely of ice. The walls, floors, ceilings, doors and windows will be completely fashioned from frozen water, as well as all the furniture and fittings. “The Frozen Haven B&B is going to be one of the Seven Wonders of…

EXCL-ICE-IVE! SAFETY CAMPAIGNERS have called for ice to be coloured this winter in an attempt to prevent the thousands of accidents that result from people treading on the slippery substance. Each year, over 10,000 Brits find themselves admitted to A&E departments after falling on frozen pavements and steps. And the main reason seems to be that the ice is invisible. “The problem is that ice is completely see-through,” said Ursula Bear, president of the British Society for the Prevention of Accidents. “When you’re walking along an icy pavement, you simply can’t see the stuff. You can only see the pavement underneath it.” she continued. “It’s like it’s not there. No wonder so many people go arse over tit, if you’ll pardon my language.” scientists And the society called for scientists to ensure that this winter’s…