Change Your Life

Ali Roff Farrar Journalist, author and yoga and mindfulness teacher Ali is a yoga and mindfulness teacher and author of The Wellfulness Project (Aster, £16.99). Ali co-founded retreat company, The Remedy Retreats, with her husband, James Farrar. On page 32, she ditches the corporate career ladder in favour of serving others. In our Self section on page 54, she confronts her judgement demons, puts past pains to rest and finds forgiveness along the way with the help of Gabrielle Bernstein’s Judgement Detox. Oliver Burkeman Journalist and author Oliver is an award-winning journalist for The Guardian and the author of The Antidote: Happiness For People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking (Canongate, £8.99). He talks about the perks of play for play’s sake on page 72. ‘We tell ourselves that play is exclusively for children and growing…

Here’s a secret that many of us share. Deep down, many of us feel like a fraud – and think that our accomplishments are the result of luck versus talent. This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome and reflects the belief that you think you’re not good enough despite evidence to the contrary. In this bookazine, we look at the four areas of your life in which this corrosive belief may be showing up and explore strategies and ways to overcome it. In our Work section, we look at how you can find the confidence to stop hiding and start speaking up about how you feel so you can create changes in your career. In our Relationships section, our writers explore ways to communicate with kindness and charm so you can…

Have you ever mulled over a conversation, wishing you’d said something that was important to you, or dared to disagree? Whether at home, work or socially, we’d all like to communicate authentically and effectively. And, in a world where having an online voice can be crucial to your career, knowing how to get your message across in a calm and lucid fashion is a must-have skill. Anita Chaudhuri explores why finding your voice is vital for your wellbeing and a fairer society, and take our test by therapist Sally Brown to identify what’s stopping you from overcoming your blocks.…

The other day, I found myself in an uncomfortable situation. I wanted to address someone’s behaviour, but found it challenging. The person is the leader of a group I belong to and uses his position to make catty comments under the guise of ‘banter’. ‘Someone needs to have a word with him,’ I fumed to a fellow group member. As long as that someone wasn’t me… Hold my tongue Why is speaking up so daunting? I am no shrinking violet, yet I agonise over turning down an invitation or questioning a decision with which I don’t agree. Often, I find it easier to put up and shut up – after all, no one else seems to have a problem with this guy. ‘It’s just his sense of humour,’ said my friend after…

1 Past regrets about speaking out revolve around: ♥ Getting too emotional ◆ Embarrassment or feeling exposed ● The impact on relationships Feeling you can’t defend your position 2 Generally, your biggest barrier to self-belief is: Taking yourself seriously ♥ Your critical voice ◆ Comparing yourself to others ● Feeling overwhelmed 3 Planned speaking out usually involves: ♥ Overthinking and overpreparing ● Being pushed to your limit ◆ Other people who take the lead Raising questions to spark thinking 4 Before a big social event, you worry that you will: Be a bit bored ♥ Make a fool of yourself ◆ Not click with anyone ● Find it too much 5 You’d speak out more if you knew: The right time and place ♥ How others felt ◆ It really mattered to you ● The possible outcome 6 When you can’t sleep, you often worry about: Whether you’ve made the…

Staring intently at my screen, I try desperately to appear as if I am concentrating. The truth is I have forgotten (again) how to find the document I need to start my first task. Hardly the technical whizz I portrayed in my interview… As my cheeks redden, I realise I’m going to have to ask for help from my new colleagues (again). I feel excruciatingly vulnerable having to repeatedly ask for guidance, for everything from turning on my PC to using the microwave. Worse still, remembering all this information is that bit more difficult after a bout of insomnia. Luckily, workplaces have changed since I was last in one 15 years ago. A willingness to be vulnerable is increasingly recognised as positive, with social researcher Brené Brown leading the charge on…