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The PictureThe Picture

The Picture

Issue 1921

The Picture is an Australian men’s magazine aimed at the average bloke. It’s full of local stories, nude women, puzzles, prizes and jokes.

Bauer Media Pty Ltd
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26 Issues


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world’s best bum

SOME countries do coal. Some countries do Toyotas. Brazil does arses. Once a year the Miss BumBum contests takes the finest backsides from around the world, throws them on a stage for an almighty ARSE-OFF. It was invented in Brazil, but has now gone global. Well, as far as Mexico City anyway. This year’s final was held there, but it was still Brazil’s own Suzy Cortez who OUT-BUTTOCKED the opposition and BUMMED her way to the top ranking by being named Miss BumBum 2019. For which she gets about twenny grand and a nice sash, but it’s more about the PRESTIGE, innit. Suze, a former Playboymodel, had previously won the title in 2015, and now it appears her rear is on the comeback trail. It’s like the ROCKY BALBOA of arses, eh readers!…

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doubles anyone?

SOME people say there’s more to women’s tennis than just flashes of little white panties, sweaty thighs and jiggling tits. And they’d be right. Sort of. There’s all that serious whacking of the ball. And running around. And grunting. Oh, the fucken grunting! But when Pommy models Rosie Jones – the dark-haired one – and Lissy Cunningham – the OTHER one – play you don’t get so much of that stuff. Nah. With them it’s pretty much ALL little white panties and jiggling tits. Sweaty thighs optional, if they can be bothered moving a bit fast and it’s humid. Most of the time, but, they just sit around giving each other a few nice SERVES and showing their ACE tits! ’Cos to be honest they can’t play tennis for shit. Nor would we expect them to.…

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wobbly world

NAPA VALLEY! Napa Valley is the USA’s home of foine woine, and there’s nothing like a glass of choice California goon to make Elison’s panties hit the deck. SPLIT! After rooting her little heart out on porno sets all year, Pommy poon princess Tommie likes to go on hols to Croatia, and hopefully root her little heart out. NEVADA! Alejandra Cobos travelled all the way from her home town of El Paso, Texas, to get her tits out in the Nevada desert. She’ll go anywhere to get a tan! PENNSYLVANIA! Pommy Page 3 babe Brook Wright was on a trip to the USA when she got lost in the woods. Luckily she was wearing her edible underwear, so she survived.. GERMANY! For Tina, summer in Germany means the beach – wind in her hair, sun on her tits and…

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news flash

FANCY A COLDIE? ANYONE fancy seeing a bunch of pale, shivering, naked Poms freezing to death? Too bad, you’re gunna see them anyway. On this year’s northern autumn equinox a mass of BARMY BLUE BRITS joined in the annual North East Skinny Dip in the BALL-SHRIVELLING North Sea at Druridge Bay, Northumberland, which raises money for a MENTAL HEALTH CHARITY. Which makes sense, ’cos you’d have to be FUCKEN MENTAL to do this. Good on ‘em, but. BONGS AWAY! A HIGH school in Florida, USA, went into lock-down when a teacher thought she heard someone say a student had a BOMB in their bag, when it really was only a BONG. The staff at the Marianna High School went into emergency mode, the cops rushed out there, and everyone was expecting the bodies…

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bed zeppelins!

THIS must be like when some olden-day bastard first looked through a telescope and discovered Mars or Uranus or something. You are now seeing Holly Garner’s norks, like the rest of the world, for the very first time. And the world is a better place for them making their debut appearance. Just 21, Holly launched herself into the wonderful world of norks-out modelling only a couple of months ago, after being discovered by talent scouts in some mysterious eastern European joint whose name we probably couldn’t pronounce if we tried. Plus she has family ties in the UK, so she’ll most likely be popping up in a few mags there as well. But whatever route her career takes, we’ll go out on a limb and predict she’ll go far. Her all-natural J-cup JAMBOREES will…

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80 years behind the bar!

CLARISE Cadarette Grzenkowicz has poured more beers than the entire staff of THE PICTURE has drunk over the years, which is saying something. Now 100, Clarise started slingin’ the suds at the Maplewood Tavern in Alpena, Michigan, USA, when she was just 20 and married her first hubby, Henry, whose family owned the joint. Now, 80 years and two dead husbands later, she still WOMANS the taps, and has been recognised by the Guinness World Records people as the world’s longest serving barmaid. “I fell in love with this place and never left,” she says. “I’ve made a lot of lifelong friends.” Yeah, that’ll happen when you sell BEER for a living.…