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The PictureThe Picture

The Picture Issue 1915

The Picture is an Australian men’s magazine aimed at the average bloke. It’s full of local stories, nude women, puzzles, prizes and jokes.

Bauer Media Pty Ltd
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mel’s bells

SEPPO actress Melanie Griffith has never been shy about showing her cans – and the occasional glimpse of COOZE – in her movies. From a skinny-dipping 17-year-old in Night Moves (1977) to the wacky tits-out nut-job in Something Wild (1986), not to mention nudie scenes in Stormy Monday (1988) and Body Double (1984), she always gave bloke cinema goers a good excuse to buy the big bucket of popcorn –other than to just eat popcorn. But that was then. The question is, at the age of 61, does our Mel still have what it takes to get our PANTS OSCARS stirring? Judging by these topless pics, taken as she was about to cop a massage on the deck of her yacht anchored off Ibiza, we say FUCK YEAH! We’d still walk barefoot over…

girls’ night in

LOOK, we wouldn’t lie to you and tell you that Daisy Watts and Mel Debling are the full lezzo deal. The two hornbag Pommy models are both known to appreciate the peen, and that’s as it should be – we’d hate to see them BAT FOR THE OTHER SIDE full time. But who’s to say that, sitting around at home after a hard day of tits-out modelling, as they sip their evening Malibus they don’t wonder what it’d be like to give up the sausage for good and go VAGITARIAN. So they have a few more, watch a few Katy Perry videos and get a bit MOIST. The skip the obligatory pillowfight and get HANDSY as they consider their sexual options. Then they chuck caution to the winds, strip down to their raunchy black…

wobbly world

CANADA! When Czech soft-core porn star Adrianne Black set off on a road trip across Canada her rental didn’t have satnav, so she used her magnetic F-cups to point the way. MADRID! Spanish fetish model Chiara Diletto does all sorts of weird stuff in pornos to get blokes off, but to us the sexiest thing she ever did was to take the bins out by herself. Legend! CANNES! California girl Ella Knox took time out from her busy porn career to show the residents of Cannes her natural double Ds. To which they replied: “Merci! Tres magnifique!” SLOVAKIA! Czech porn stunner Stacy Cruz’s hard-working cooze got somewhat overheated and had to be cooled down with some pool time. They say you could see steam coming off it. NETHERLANDS! Polish big-tit model and aspiring singer Ewa Sonnet couldn’t decide whether…

news flash

BLUDGERS BEWARE YOU’VE heard about those bludging cunts called ‘influencers’ who ask for freebies in exchange for mentions on social media. Well, Seppo ice-cream seller Joe Nicchi had a gutful of them pestering him for a free cone, so he brought in a policy of charging double for anyone claiming to be an ‘influencer’. “I finally burned out,” Nicchi, from LA, said. “So I made a sign to charge anyone that mentions they’re an influencer double. These so-called influencers hold no actual weight. It’s all smoke and mirrors.” Fucken right! HOLY CARP! POMMY fisherman John Harvey has broken the world record for the biggest carp ever caught. Johnno, 42, originally from Devon, England, but now living in Thailand, landed the 105kg fish after an epic 80 minute tussle while fishing in a lagoon…

nudie run!

EVER since Woodstock in 1969 – that’s 50 years ago, for fuck’s sake! – it’s been traditional for young people at music festivals to NUDE UP and rock out with their COCKS – and CLUNGES – OUT. So it does our hearts good to let you know that it’s still happening, and nowhere more NUDELY than at the Roskilde Festival in Denmark. In fact, at Roskilde public nudity has actually been written into the festival program in the form of the annual NUDIE RUN. See, rather than wait around for the occasional, KNOB, NUNGA or pair of NORKS to make an appearance, the organisers stage a nude foot race, the prize for which is some tickets to the following year’s festival. So every year the young Scando trendsetters drop their daks, dab a bit…

my best friend’s spreading!

THERE’S only one thing better than a naked stunna taking her clothes off – and that’s TWO naked stunnas groping EACH OTHER. And Jenna and Samantha, both 23, are two of the hottest babes to ever rub up against one another. Is this the first time you’ve LEZZED IT UP? Jenna: “No we’re actually really good friends and we love shooting together. We love fucking each other when we get bored or a little drunk.” Samantha: “Look at Jenna’s body and tell me you could refuse that. If she wants to have sex, then we end up having sex.” Would you two be keen to ever DOUBLE-TEAM a bloke? Jenna: “We would consider it. It can’t be anybody we really like, though. It’d have to be some random guy we met.” Samantha: “Yes, I’m sure…