I joined Facebook when I was 14. The first status I posted, on 5 September 2006, at 11.42am, read, simply, “Cold lampin’”. (I was a big Public Enemy fan.) All that cold lampin’ must have worn me out, though, because at 4.27pm, I updated my status to read, “Exhausted”.
Whenever I think to delete my Facebook account — which, since Mark Zuckerberg’s charmless testimony before Congress in 2018, has become a daily occurrence — I remember that the company already has a record of my thoughts and feelings going back more than 13 years. Facebook knows, for instance, that on 23 September 2006, at 9.59am, I was “getting my Jew on”.
At 1.20pm that same day, I was “blasting music and shouting ‘Wu-Tang! Wu-Tang!’” Facebook knows that on 3 October…
