Tabla de contenidos para April 2017 en Mindful

Do you believe that each of us has one true great love? How do you make up after a fight? “Physical contact: One of us breaks and hugs the other, and the tension washes away.” “Eating something.” “Laughing.” “Lotsa good lovin’.” “By breaking the silence.” “There is no making up. Life just goes on.” “We relax on the couch together.” “I used to apologize.” “We say sorry, then remain cold for a while.” “I make a cup of tea.” “We talk it out.” “Hugs and sex please!” “Cooking really tasty dishes.” “Time heals. Give space.” “Sex, obviously.” How does arguing relate to relationships? 63% SAY IT'S A NECESSARY PART of any healthy relationship. On the other hand, 10% say it’s a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. Still, 39% of…

Drawing attention to gender discrimination in the workplace, a Swedish union established a “mansplaining” hotline. Women are encouraged to call for advice on how to be heard by male colleagues and what to do when a man receives credit for their work. A scientist in Australia has discovered that seaweed may hold the key to mitigating harmful greenhouse gases released by livestock. By eating a specific kind of the aquatic plant, the methane emissions from cows’ belches and farts are reduced to almost nothing. The Make-A-Wish Foundation helped a 12-year-old leukemia patient from Sydney fulfill a big dream: to blow stuff up. He was invited to a national police training facility to take part in hostage drills and help detonate explosives. Scotland’s ambitious Zero Waste program seems to be working.…

In 1994, while in Oakland, California, on a film project about race and gender, Gretchen Rohr worked with a group of activists—among them former Black Panther Party leader Ericka Huggins—dedicated to addressing the sort of injustice and oppression they had experienced themselves. But what struck Rohr about these elders was their lack of bitterness. And all of them meditated. Rohr now teaches mindfulness at her alma mater, Georgetown University Law Center, and with the Justice in Balance initiative, which is a monthly exploration of meditation and nonviolence. From 2013 to 2016, she served as a magistrate judge for the Superior Court of the District of Columbia. Did your colleagues in California inspire you to meditate? Not at all. The concept of mindfulness seemed too foreign, too fantastic. I was an…

Aging has been around for as long as we have—so you’d think we might have accepted it by now. By the same token, you’d think we’d also had enough of cats on the internet, but they’re just so darn cute. The past 20 years has given birth to a booming “anti-aging” industry, replete with creams, pills, diets, and even anti-aging clinics. So, a few bucks and a little extra work can keep me young forever? Sounds like a beautiful fantasy! Oh right, that’s because it is one. As Muriel R. Gillick, professor of ambulatory care and prevention at Harvard Medical School, writes in her book, The Denial of Aging, “When we believe we will stay young forever, and when we purchase special vitamins, herbs, and other youth-enhancing chemicals to promote…

Spring: the scent of apple blossoms, the chirping of birds, the riotous colors of tulips, the taste of fiddlehead ferns cooked in butter, the feel of new grass beneath bare feet—this idyllic picture is brought to you by your five senses! To be alive is miraculous. To truly appreciate life, we need to perceive, to feel—to sense our world. We rely on our sense organs (our eyes, ears, noses, tongues, skin) to be sensitive to light, vibrations, touch, or the very molecules that make up scents and tastes, and translate such stimuli into electrical signals that travel via the nervous system to areas in the brain. Those signals are then interpreted so we have fully formed perceptions. It truly is astounding that we can communicate so intimately and accurately with…

Change your storyline or simply notice it? Which is better? Many therapies—not to mention the advice we get from friends and our grandmother—encourage us to change the story we’re telling ourselves when that story causes us anxiety, depression, or other challenging mental states. In the recovery world it’s called “stinkin’ thinkin’,” the kind of self-talk that tells us we are no good or things are not going to work out or that the person we are about to go talk to is an absolute ogre. The stories we tell ourselves in our head do frame our experience, and they can form a kind of script for our lives, so the advice to “flip the script,” to change the story we’re telling ourselves, would seem to make a lot of sense.…

In Conscious Loving Ever After, coauthors (and husband and wife) Katie and Gay Hendricks advise partners to make the following pledge: I commit to enjoying my full capacity for love and creativity. Often when we think about creativity, we worry that we must produce something of value—a painting, a written work, even the perfect rendition of Julia Child’s Coq au Vin recipe. But, says Katie Hendricks, this perception misses the point. True creativity is a whole mind, whole body approach to life that is playful and joyful—a way of relating with openness and curiosity to ourselves, the people we love, and the world around us. So, you might say, that sounds nice, but what does that have to do with my relationship? Absolutely everything, says Katie. In Conscious Loving Ever…

QUIRKS AND QUARKS Episode: “The Science of Mindfulness” How seriously should we take the claims made on behalf of meditation and mindfulness? How solid are the studies on their benefits? Host Bob McDonald talks to some heavyweights in mindfulness research. The bottom line? Well, it’s worth a listen. ON BEING WITH KRISTA TIPPETT Episode: “Maria Popova—Cartographer of Meaning in a Digital Age” “Identity is somewhat like rearranging an attic,” says Popova, the founder and editor of Brain Pickings, a weekly selection of thought-provoking writings. “It’s as much about throwing out the trinkets that no longer serve us as it is about bringing in new ones.” LOVE + RADIO Episode: “No Bad News” What would it feel like to abstain from news? Three decades ago, American hypnotist Larry Garrett decided to…

Barry BoyceEditor-in-Chiefbarry@mindful.org Our must-read story this issue: In “A House That Won’t Blow Down,” Will Kabat-Zinn reveals what really happens on a meditation retreat—and why you should take one. On page 68. One of the persistent misrepresentations of mindfulness is that it is predominantly a solitary struggle. One thinks of the sage on the mountain, the hermit sequestered in a cave, you sitting home alone in your room, privately gazing at your navel (which is a pretty strange image if you think about it). It’s true that mindfulness meditation does involve spending time alone with your own thinking mind. In fact, a great benefit of cultivating more mindfulness, many people report, is that it helps them get along better with themselves. Meditation helps you be a better companion for your…

When you’ve been hurt by someone, it’s not always easy to let it go. But holding on to a grudge will only make you feel worse—and not just emotionally. Resentment can cause your blood pressure to spike and trigger the release of stress chemicals that can make you physically sick. And the truth is: It doesn’t really do any good anyway. As the saying goes: “Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” The paradox is, when you’ve been wronged, forgiveness is the only thing that provides relief from the pain. Sound like a bitter pill to swallow? Read on to learn how forgiving others (and yourself) can help you release the heavy burden of resentment and experience more freedom. 1 Understand forgiveness Before you…

I’ve developed a theory that the biggest driver of mindlessness at work comes from lack of communication. Most times, this is connected to the conversations we’re not having about our values, or about the boundaries we set (or don’t set) around how we live, honor, or uphold these values at work. You know the type of conversation I am talking about: the really uncomfortable one, where you know what you need to say is going to be awkward and might displease or disappoint another person. Each day we encounter situations where we halfway communicate what we want to express, request, or need. In many cases, we do this because we fear being judged. Think about it: Have you ever edited a response because you felt uncomfortable revealing yourself and your…

Journey of an Anxious Thought TIP LIGHT TOUCH In mindfulness meditation, when you notice a thought, you’ll likely be tempted to dwell on it and take it somewhere. Instead, you can just touch it lightly with your attention and go right to your breath. It doesn’t matter if you were off in space for a long time. In the moment you touch the thought, you can bounce right back. Not long after I started meditating, I was persuaded to spend a whole day at it. Let’s just say it wasn’t exactly easy. I soon felt trapped in my own body, and since I had decided not to leave—a clear admission of defeat—I sat there wanting to climb out of my skin. My breath shortened. I was sweating in my palms,…

Tara Brach and her husband, meditation teacher Jonathan Foust, have developed a regular practice for keeping the lines of communication open and maintaining a deep, loving connection. They enage in the practice two mornings a week. Here’s how Tara suggests going about it. 1 Begin by sitting silently together for 10-20 minutes, as time allows. 2 Next, take turns telling each other what you’re grateful for, what’s enlivening your heart at present. “This is called gladdening the heart and serves as a good way to open the channel of communication,” Tara says. 3 After individually expressing gratitude, take turns naming any particular challenges you’re dealing with that are currently causing you stress. These are difficulties you’re facing apart from your relationship. 4 Then, deepen your inquiry by taking turns noting…

What’s the Setting? Urban-ish or rustic, vegetarian or vegan, silent or guided, beach or mountain, solitary or group—retreats come in all shapes and types. Make sure you like the space and geographical area. Find out whether the retreat center is aligned with your values. Are there chairs suitable for meditating in? Are you OK with doing some volunteer work during the retreat? Who’s the Teacher? Because of the huge range of teachers and retreats, you need to be sure you align with the teacher’s philosophy. If you’re skeptical of religion and wary of spiritual talk, say, look for a teacher who emphasizes secular values. Do a bit of research to make sure the teacher is respected in the meditation community. Talk to him or her. Do you feel an affinity…

Wake up! Feel the weight and warmth of the covers, then stick a foot out and feel the cool air touch your skin Take a shower. Listen to the water as it falls. Feel as it rains down upon your head. Really notice the smell of your shampoo. Turn the water to cold and see how long you can handle it—bonus points if you can last a whole minute! Make some coffee. But before you do, put your nose up to the beans and take a big, deep inhale. Notice if your brain makes any associations as you smell. Open your front door. Let a little air rush inside and notice how it feels and smells. Then step outside and slowly scan the horizon. Go for a walk. Wander aimlessly—really,…

A Mini Forgiveness Practice Try this short practice once a day and feel your forgiveness muscles growing. Think of someone who has caused you pain (to start, maybe not the person who has hurt you most) and you’re holding a grudge against. Visualize the time you were hurt by this person and feel the pain you still carry. Hold tightly to your unwillingness to forgive. Now, observe what emotion is present. Is it anger, resentment, sadness? Use your body as a barometer and notice physically what you feel. Are you tense anywhere, or do you feel heavy? Next, bring awareness to your thoughts; are they hateful, spiteful, or something else? Really feel this burden associated with the hurt that lives inside you, and ask yourself: “Who is suffering? Have I…

Strong emotions that arise during conflicts almost always have their origin in the past, most often in childhood, says couples’ therapist George Taylor. When we inquire within to identify the source of our reactivity, then share it with our partner, we begin to break free from old, conditioned patterns of behavior that no longer serve us or our relationship. The four most common strategies that most people rely on when they feel threatened are to: Attack Defend Pursue Withdraw Dismantling these kneejerk reactions is a courageous process that requires both self-awareness and self-disclosure, but the results are transformational, Taylor says. The key is to focus on your own experience, without blaming or criticizing your partner. In other words: Be mindful and investigate your own strong reactions to see what old…

THE CRAVING MIND From Cigarettes to Smartphones to Love— How We Get Hooked & How We Can Break Bad Habits Judson Brewer • Yale We’re forever reaching for something that will bring us pleasure: coffee, a Facebook post, a kiss, or something more sinful. We rev up our craving engine in the morning and give it few breaks through the day. What’s up with that? Why so needy? As director of research at the Center for Mindfulness and developer of smoking cessation and mindful eating apps, doctor Judson Brewer has a few things to say about that. Both a lab researcher and a psychiatrist, he has tried to figure out how we get ourselves into habits that adversely affect our health and how we can release ourselves from their grip.…