Tabla de contenidos para August 2025 en Psychologies

Shining a light on the loneliness epidemic I just wanted to write and tell you that the Loneliness dossier in the June issue really hit home for me. The quiz was particularly revealing, as I didn’t realise there were so many different ways that a person can feel isolated. It reminded me of a poem I wrote during lockdown when, at age 39, the enforced time at home allowed me to really examine my feelings, and try to face and let go of anxieties and insecurities I’d been holding on to for a long time. Setting pen to paper, I never know quite where it will take me, or quite what it will reveal. For me, various issues were highlighted, such as self worth and esteem, and feeling left behind…

One of my favourite things about summer is its texture. You can walk out into air that feels like a caress rather than a bite. Everyone is slower and lazier, as pub gardens fill and hazy sunlight pours through windows. Even nature provides a gentler landing, with lush green grass and soft sand providing the textures of the season. Okay, yes, I realise this is a rather rose-tinted view. I do know, really, that it’s just as likely to be sunburn and crowds and sand in your sandwiches. But this idealised version — this dream of the perfect soft-focus summer — persists in my imagination. And on those magical days where real life does match the fantasy, I remember that part of the appeal is the softness of it all.…

It’s beyond time to normalise talking about the hard things in women’s lives. The pressure to keep so many of our important experiences to ourselves prevents us from showing up as our fullest selves, in all of our vulnerability, complexity, and strength. Our culture has taught us to be silent about the very things we need to be sharing: the messages we received about our voices and bodies as girls; depression and anxiety; breakups in intimate and platonic relationships; grief; shame; sexual harassment and abuse; the choice to become a mother; the choice to not become a mother; the pain of wanting to become a mother but having it not work out; and the struggles associated with caregiving, with ageing, with our changing bodies. Silence, stigma, shame, repeat. The act…

You’ve done the reflecting. You’ve asked the big questions: what matters, what’s next, what feels like mine. But even the clearest insights can start to circle back on themselves, leaving you unsure what to do next. That’s when it helps to remember something important: you don’t need perfect clarity to take a step. Often, it’s the stepping that brings the clarity. Because clarity rarely comes first. It doesn’t arrive with a tidy plan or guaranteed outcome. More often, it emerges after you’ve taken a step, tried something, tested the waters. Insight gathers through movement, not stillness. You move, then you understand. Not the other way around. Clarity shows up when something stirs an energy or uncovers a truth you hadn’t realised was there. This is where purpose shifts from something…

On holiday a few years ago, I drove past an old, abandoned farm house. There was a gangly sapling growing, pushing through a chipped and faded blue window pane to reach the brighter blue of the sky. I stopped. I couldn’t help it. I’ve always been intrigued by these places. Part of it is imaging what it would be like to bring life to them again — to restore those broken panes, protect the interior again from the elements by fixing the failing roof and bring laughter to where there is just a broken chair and piles of leaves. Part of it, though, is also a fascination with the lives that have been lived there. In the garden, I found broken pieces of tiles. They were thick with the mortar…

She may not be experiencing any menopause symptoms yet, but at 45, Dr Zoe Williams is making big changes so she’s ready to tackle it head on. ‘As a woman in my mid-40s myself, the time to start preparing for menopause is before it happens,’ says ITV’s This Morning’s resident TV doctor. ‘I think inevitably, I’m in perimenopause. I’m not having symptoms, but I know with certainty that at my age, my oestrogen levels are lower than they used to be. It’s imminent. ‘Even as a doctor, I’ve gone through a stages of not having enough knowledge, being a bit oblivious, and being like “I’ll deal with that when I get to it”, all the way through to almost dreading it and having too much knowledge and [hearing] all the…

Dopamine has come into the spotlight in recent years, and it’s not always been for good reasons. Our over reliance on our phones in general, and social media specifically, are causing imbalances, we’re reliably informed: we get an easy buzz on our phone, and we struggle to do anything else useful, leading to the rise in popularity of dopamine detoxes, and the general vilification of dopamine. But what is the bigger picture behind this much-maligned hormone, and is it possible that the problem with our low moods is we’re actually not getting enough of the stuff? We need to take a little trip back in time to find out more. Dopamine is one of the four main mood-influencing hormones, along with serotonin, oxytocin and cortisol. Each fulfils a different role…

Session One Jill was a warm, expressive and confident woman. She had a youthful, ‘boho’ style and I was surprised when she said she was in her late 50s. I told her so and she looked pleased. In my work as a coach, I have learned that the first words people say are rarely without significance. So, I asked, ‘Is your age relevant to your being here?’ Jill nodded. ‘I guess so. I’m 57. I have been married to Kevin for 30 years — mostly happily, but things have changed. ‘I’m feeling increasingly lonely in my marriage. We exist alongside one another, but the emotional connection seems to have faded away over time. ‘We have different interests and different friends. Our conversations are functional and superficial. With luck, I may…

Once you start wondering whether the life you’re living is truly yours, another question soon follows. If not this, then what? What would feel real? What would feel like mine? We’re often taught to look for answers in plans or outcomes: a better job, a clearer path, a new five-year strategy. But most of the time, what we’re really searching for isn’t a roadmap. It’s a feeling. Not the adrenaline high of achievement or the comfort of stability. What we’re after, often without realising it, is meaning. And not just any meaning. A kind of meaning that makes us feel more fully alive. Saori Okada, founder of Mogami 最上 Wellness, draws on Japanese traditions and mindfulness to help people reconnect with what matters most. Central to her work is the…

Stuck in a spiral? How to interrupt anxious thinking in as little as half a minute, with Nicci Roscoe, holistic health expert and author of Micro Meditation: Moments of calm for a happier, healthier life, (CICO Books, £14.99). Nicci says: ‘When life feels chaotic and your mind won’t stop racing, you don’t need a long break to feel better. My Micro Meditation techniques are designed to interrupt stress and anxious thoughts in 30 seconds to two minutes.’ 1 Start with the breath that slows time: inhale slowly for 4, hold for 2, exhale for 6. Repeat three times. This simple pattern soothes your nervous system and tells your body that it’s safe to relax. 2 For hands-on calm, I love Play-doh meditation. Keep Play-doh nearby and take a minute to…

Emilia Fox saw turning 50 as a significant milestone in her life — but not a scary one. The actress, who’s starred in the crime drama Silent Witness for 21 years, is as busy with work as ever. She is happily ‘sandwiched’ between a teenage daughter and ageing parents, yet is full of energy and says she’s looking forward to the next half of her life. ‘Do you know what’s lovely about turning 50?’ she asks. ‘It’s seen in a very different way to what it was, and people are really recognising that it’s a time when we still want to be busy — we have the choice. ‘I think people do see 50 as a significant milestone in life — my goodness, we’re lucky if we get to 50…

Keep cool and carry on ‘Coolness’ is not just in the eye of the beholder — there is a universal language to achieving this social status. Despite having differing cultural attitudes, a survey of 5,000 people across 13 countries including the USA, China and Nigeria found they agreed on six vital personality traits. These were being extroverted, hedonistic, powerful, autonomous, open and adventurous. Researchers from the Universidad Adolfo Ibánez in Chile pinpointed the key components after also asking participants to explain what made a person not cool, good or not good. ‘Everyone wants to be cool, or at least avoid the stigma of being uncool, and society needs cool people because they challenge norms, inspire change and advance culture,’ says associate professor Todd Pezzuti, the study’s co-lead. Cheesy cause of…

What creates trust? If you ask most people this they will probably name ‘time’ as the number one factor. The more time we spend with someone, the more we feel a sense of connection and trust with them. However, if you ask any psychologists about trust, they’ll tell you that time is overrated. In fact, we can gain and break someone’s trust very quickly — often without really knowing why. Recently, I’ve had a glut of new coaching clients and I’m always fascinated by how quickly they feel safe to trust me with their thoughts and feelings. When we sit down together for the first time I want to make them feel at ease and like I’m someone they can share their honest thoughts with, but I was never sure…

This summer, my South London garden has been in full bloom: verdant, fragrant, and quietly instructive. As I water the bushy peony that hasn’t flowered since my friend Jacque passed away, I find myself in quiet conversation with it. The peony is a cutting from her old front garden. For the first few years, it stayed green but dormant. One year it bloomed, unexpectedly and then, not again. I water it anyway. Some things take precious time to flower again. Grief, unlike the seasons, doesn’t follow a predictable rhythm. It can loop back on itself, pause unexpectedly, or bloom long after we thought it was done. Healing does its work underground. And just because we can’t see the growth doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. As I tend the garden, I…

Whether it’s work commitments, family duties, or our mind is just elsewhere — for many of us, transitioning from a busy day-to-day life to sudden holiday mode can take time to adjust. But there’s nothing worse than finding you’ve finally relaxed and then it’s time to head home! Senior psychotherapist Dr Michael Swift, who works with people who experience anxiety and stress, says that we have ‘forgotten what a holiday is meant to be’. ‘We often consider that a holiday is a time when you mentally, emotionally and physically rest,’ he says. ‘However, when people tend to go on holidays now, that isn’t the case and it is often spent trying to cram lots of things in. The other challenge for a lot of people is being able to switch…

We tend to think of joy as something big: a milestone, a celebration. But often, it slips in quietly. Maybe it’s sunlight on your skin, an ice cream on a hot day, or a song you forgot you loved playing at just the right moment. Maybe it’s the sound of someone you love laughing beside you, or your own laughter catching you off guard — forgetting, for a moment, to perform, strive, or solve. You’re simply present, and something inside you says: ‘This is it. More of this, please.’ That moment might pass quickly, but its message is powerful. Joy, especially the grounding, honest kind, is not just a pleasant bonus when life is going well. It’s a kind of inner intelligence. A quiet signal, a subtle compass. For years,…

In the month since I wrote my last column, where I described my summer of uncertainty, life has been turbulent and exhausting. Against a brutal and devastating global backdrop, my own little world has been harsh and unrelenting. I spend my days seeking respite from the storm, but shelter is hard to find and I am frequently overwhelmed by the onslaught of obstacles being hurled into my path. This morning, a gentle drizzle taps the plastic roof of my utility room as I pour boiling water onto a tea bag in my favourite mug. After I have driven one daughter to the bus stop at 7am, I take a mug of tea back up to my bedroom for half an hour, before another daughter must be woken up. I like…

Our thoughts have a direct influence on our health and longevity. Psychiatrists estimate that the average person has 60,000 thoughts every day. They also determined that 90% of those thoughts are the same thoughts from the day before, and 85% of those thoughts are negative. Motivational speaker and author Zig Ziglar called this ‘stinkin’ thinkin’’. I believe if your thinkin’ is stinkin’, your health is shrinking! In the book Biology of Belief, cell biologist Dr Bruce Lipton made the case that thoughts are a frequency, and this frequency has the ability to penetrate your cell membrane and communicate with your DNA nucleus. If the thought is negative, the protein produced by your DNA is inflammatory. This shortens your telomeres and damages your DNA, leading to a shortened lifespan. If the…