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Esquire September 2018

Esquire is a funny, informative, connected magazine that covers the interests of American men—all the interests of the American man: Politics, style, advice, women, health, eating and drinking, the most interesting people of our time. All that and it’s the most-honored monthly magazine in history.

United States
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kiss the dressing room goodbye break into the box

Clothes shopping isn’t for everyone. While it’s our job to keep you current style-wise, we hear there is a certain subset of guys who do not react with glee when they enter a department store. Guys who would rather outsource that job altogether. You can do that with Trunk Club, a delivery service designed to get you dressed well without setting foot inside a dressing room. Start by answering some basic questions online (How do you like your shirts to fit? Are there any colors you dislike wearing?), then link up with a stylist to sort out the details. Get specific. If you’re running low on jeans, request a few—they stock everyone from Levi’s to Rag & Bone. The stylist’s recommendations ship to your door in less than a week,…

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A BRIEF MONTHLY EXPANSION ON A TOPIC EXPLORED IN THE ISSUE Leather is a durable and flexible material made from the only part of an animal that you can’t find at a Golden Corral buffet: the hide. Cowhide is the most common material used, since cows are the animal with the most naturally occurring zippers and buckles. Leather has long been a popular choice for making clothing, accounting for almost 50 percent of all Village People costumes worldwide. Wearing a leather coat supposedly projects the same image of youthful rebellion as an Italian sectional sofa. Although new leather can be stiff, it can be broken in gradually by acting as a cowboy in erectile-dysfunction ads. In addition to clothing, leather is frequently used in making books and journals, like the one…

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the fantastic mr. wolfe

The Kingdom of Speech, Tom Wolfe’s final book, was about language. Apes can communicate, Darwin noticed; so can dolphins. Does that make them like us? According to Wolfe, the answer wasn’t just no but, as he might put it, noooooooo!!!!! Humans and apes may both have opposable thumbs, but what makes us unique is our invention of language. Wolfe himself was unique as a writer for how he handled that very thing, giving his prose sound effects, explosive charge, elastic energy, and the illusion of improvisation. No one else sounded quite like him or had the cojones to poke a walking stick into the sacred cultural beehives he did. In The Painted Word, he declared that art had “disappeared up its own fundamental aperture.” When Mailer insulted his choice of wardrobe,…

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best. career. ever.

A Cultural Guide to Just Enough of Everything Matt Groening will forever be known as the guy behind The Simpsons, now the longest-running prime-time scripted series in television history. Hey, a guy could do worse. But the 64-year-old former cartoonist has never been one to rest on his Emmys: Groening remains intimately involved with every episode of his best-known show (639 at this writing) and has spent the past several years developing a new animated series called Disenchantment (debuting this month on Netflix), set in the mythical kingdom of Dreamland. Amid a typically busy day shuttling between the L.A. studios where his shows are made, Groening spoke with Esquire about the origins of Disenchantment, his love of Bollywood, and the secret to The Simpsons’ Montgomery Burns–like longevity. Dan Hyman: What inspires someone…

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a (legal) nfl bettor’s guide

WHO WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL? Everyone’s favorite pseudoscientist, Tom Brady, isn’t retiring without another ring. The TB12 Method sequel won’t sell itself! New England Patriots 6–1 Pittsburgh Steelers 8–1 Philadelphia Eagles 10–1 Los Angeles Rams 12–1 WHO WILL HEADLINE THE SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOW? We can write off “This Is America” playing anywhere near an NFL stadium. Parlay Taylor Swift with an Ed Sheeran cameo. Taylor Swift 2–1 Rihanna 25–1 Drake 50–1 Childish Gambino 100–1 WHO WILL BE JOHNNY MANZIEL’S BRO APPARENT? Baker Mayfield has a YouTube-able arrest video and once grabbed his crotch while screaming “Fuck you!” at an opponent’s sideline. Baker Mayfield 4–1 Josh Rosen 8–1 Josh Allen 30–1 Sam Darnold 45–1 WHO’S MOST LIKELY TO HAVE A #METOO MOMENT? There’s nothing quite like quarterback privilege. Big Ben got a mulligan for his sexual-assault allegations—our money’s on that not lasting long. Ben Roethlisberger 6–1 Jameis Winston 9–1 Ezekiel Elliott…

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hack my life

1. First, make sure you need a golf umbrella. Does it rain frequently in your city? If not, are you highly sensitive to the sun? Do you need everyone in the city to know that you play golf? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, you need a golf umbrella. 2. What color would you like your golf umbrella to be? They come in an array of colors—from the traditional black and navy to more colorful options such as green and white. Since you’ll be taking up an entire sidewalk while using yours in the city, make sure the color suits your style and sensibility. 3. What features would you like? We’d recommend a push-button auto-open golf umbrella, for ease of use, and a light, durable shaft. While a…