New Zealand Listener Issue 5 2019

The SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) has long been one of our most valued and respected institutions, but in its redoubled advocacy against 1080 poison, it has fallen out of step with this country’s conservation priorities. Were we to stop using this weapon against exotic wild predators, our native flora and fauna would suffer rapid, and in some cases final, decline. It is most unfortunate the animal-welfare charity chose the early new year to encourage stronger anti-1080 activism among its supporters, as 2019 is a forest “mast year”, in which a higher-than-usual seed fall is expected to turbocharge rodent and other predator populations. The SPCA is right to deplore the suffering the lethal green pellets cause. But the native creatures killed by the targeted ferrets, rats, possums and…

A big thumbs-up for confirming what so many of us suspected about that ghastly misfit occupying the White House (“Deplorable-in-chief”, January 19). Here is an example of one of Donald Trump’s “basket of deplorables”, recorded on a cellphone and shown in the Michael Moore documentary Fahrenheit 11/9: “Why weren’t you burnt in the ovens, you f------kike? Get the hell off this bus, f------Jew!” There were others just as disturbing as that little gem of Trumpism, and that is barely scratching the surface. This is what you sign up to when you identify as a Trump supporter. You buy the whole package; you can’t cherry-pick the bits you like or agree with. John Watkins(Remuera, Auckland) The cover story on Donald Trump amounted to another discourse on essentially how unfit Trump is to be President and…

WINNING CAPTION Kevin Stratton, Raumati FINALISTS Melania Trump: “You’ve reached the US Government. Thank you for holding. Your call is important to us …” – Max Tasman, Auckland Melania: “Washington Daycare? I’m having trouble with a toddler.” Donald Trump: Immigration Department? I want to report an illegal alien.” – Peter Scanlan, Lower Hutt Melania: “No, you hang up.” Trump: “No, you hang up.” – Brian Holden, Tekapo Melania: “Yes, this is the immigration helpline.” – Paul Kelly, Palmerston North Melania: “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” Trump: “Who is this?” – Mark Bradley, St Clair, Dunedin Trump: “Sorry, Kim. Melania says I’m not allowed to come over.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae Caption Competition {caption@listener.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo above to caption@listener.co.nz, with “Caption Competition No 316” in the subject line. Alternatively, entries can be posted to “Caption…

“I would like 50-year-old women to stop sending me photos of their bottoms and breasts.”– French novelist Yann Moix, after his declaration that he will not sleep with women his own age causes outrage“Only one year and 14 days left to sleep with Yann Moix.”– French comedian Marina Fois, 48“Boyfriend. This is such a weird word. There’s no good word about someone if you’re not married. Even calling a guy you live with your boyfriend makes you sound 11 years old. Old man? If you’re not living with Willie Nelson, that one doesn’t work, either.”– US comedian Elayne Boosler“If there’s a concrete wall in front of you, go through it, go over it, go around it. But get to the other side of that wall.”– Donald Trump in a 2004…

“Up until that point I felt like I had control [but] when you go through these medical procedures there is no fine art answer and that was difficult.” NZ Herald, 4/1/19 On Haumoana’s beachfront, the climate-change hourglass is ticking, and for some, time’s almost run out.Hawke’s Bay Today, 4/1/19 Last year, inner-city Wellington residents suggested beggars and beneficiaries could pick up butts as a form of public service but the idea has not been picked up.Nelson Mail, 3/10/18 Made from molasses and bittered with rimu bark and leaves, which person brewed the first beer in New Zealand?Pursuit of Hoppiness, December 2018 Lost: Sapphire & Diamond Ring, square set, lost Tuesday 23rd October, vicinity of imagining department …Wairarapa Times-Age, 27/10/18 LIFE IN NEW ZEALAND: Entries must describe New Zealand events. The first sender of those accepted…

1. To which group of spiders does the endangered katipō belong? ❑ Trapdoor❑ Funnel-web❑ Huntsman❑ Widow 2. Irn-Bru is sometimes described as the “other national drink” of which country? ❑ South Africa ❑ Scotland❑ Romania ❑ Wales 3. Throughout Europe, sculptures of the mysterious “Green Man” face are frequently associated with what? ❑ Churches ❑ Hedge mazes❑ Town halls❑ Band rotundas 4. From where did the phrase ‘push the envelope’ originate? ❑ Corrupt politicians❑ Aviation❑ Organised crime❑ Extreme sports 5. The symbol lb, for pound, is an abbreviation of what? ❑ Libra❑ Load burden❑ Labour❑ Lambskin 6. True or false? The word “sardine” specifically describes one fish species. ❑ True ❑ False 7. Which is the only letter in English that is never silent? ❑ J❑ Q❑ V❑ X 8. One meaning of “panoply” is a complete … what? ❑ Suit of armour❑ Chess set❑…