New Zealand Listener Issue 37 2019

On September 3, it will be 80 years since New Zealand declared war on Nazi Germany and entered World War II, a conflict that would reverberate in the national psyche for decades. About 140,000 New Zealand men and women served in the war, and almost 12,000 were killed. But as the generation that experienced it dwindles in number, so our collective memory of the event fades. Within a few years, the Last Post will have been sounded over the grave of the last New Zealand combatant. All of which raises the question of whether we are in danger of ignoring, or at least underestimating, the risk that New Zealand will be caught up in war again. It may surprise even some older New Zealanders to learn that WWII came very close to…

Jane Clifton and Mark Broatch’s first-class examination of the New Zealand accent (“Speaking our language”, August 31) could well have included the contribution made by John Key. The former PM couldn’t (or wouldn’t) pronounce “women” – and constantly referred to “the men and woman of New Zealand”. This is now commonly heard. As is also the academically named metathesis – in which New Zealanders reverse the middle of words. A prominent TV personality recently admitted that she’d always said “eck-cetre” and didn’t know there was any other way. Her newsreading colleagues look at their script, but then announce something is “vun-lerable”. Even Māori place names aren’t spared: Manurewa becomes Manuwera and the buses of a tourist firm announce trips to Cape Rienga. Its name is Rēinga. Another speech/accent development is the frequent…

Julian Lee, Ōpōtiki FINALISTS Caption: “Black Fern finds Aussie locks a real handful.” – Brian Marks, Paihia Selica Winiata: “And you Aussies think Split Enz is a Kiwi thing.” – Claudia Freeman, Gisborne Caption: “Another scalp for the Black Ferns.” – Tom Cass, Ōpōtiki Winiata: “Just checking our transtasman ties.” – Ray Battersby, Wellington Winiata: “You’ve just won the pull-it-surprise!” – Helen Carver, Dannevirke Winiata: “No one ever got carded for a high tangle.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae Caption: “The effect of John Key’s surprise appointment as Black Ferns coach was soon evident on the field.” – Max Tasman, Auckland Caption: “Australia came within a hair’s breadth of scoring.” – John Stribling, Wellington Winiata: “It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.” – Rex McGregor, Auckland Caption Competition {caption@listener.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo above to caption@listener.co.nz, with “Caption…

“Every generation, civilisation is invaded by barbarians – we call them ‘children’.”– Hannah Arendt, in the Telegraph“Your mind is a bit like a parachute: if it isn’t open, it doesn’t work.”– Buzz Aldrin in the Week“If you can only be tall because somebody is on their knees, then you have a serious problem.”– Toni Morrison quoted in Mother Jones“I tell my friends I’m here for them 24/7 because it sounds better than saying I’m only here for them on July 24.”– comedian British Andy Field“I keep randomly shouting out ‘broccoli’ and ‘cauliflower’. I think I might have florets.”– Olaf Falafel, Edinburgh Fringe festival funniest-joke winner“To be or not to be a horse rider. That is equestrian.”– comedian Mark Simmons“I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened…

The man says he did not get a wink of sleep as he woke up to check the ticket was still in his pocket every few hours. Otago Daily Times, 23/7/19 He hopes to hold a funeral at night one day … Waikato Times, 1/6/19 Ruth asked a number of women who were at home like her with young children to help. Independent Herald, 8/5/19 I was sure he wasn’t gay, so I clarified that my cottage has only one bed. “We’ll bring a camp bed,” he said. North & South, September 2019 His tip for going, and staying, vegan? “You go cold turkey,” he said. Press, 16/8/19 A steel-bodied Bentley Mark VI convertible with a fully restored aluminium body is “probably” the only one of its kind in the country … NZ Herald, 15/8/19 LIFE IN NEW ZEALAND: Entries must describe…

1. Which musician’s 1983 debut solo album is titled She’s So Unusual? ❑ Cyndi Lauper ❑ Joan Jett❑ Madonna❑ Patti Smith 2. True or false? It’s possible to walk between Russia and the United States. ❑ True ❑ False 3. Which of these toys or games first went on sale? ❑ Ouija board❑ Magic 8-Ball ❑ Rubik’s Cube ❑ Monopoly 4. True or false? The publishing of blasphemous material is a crime in New Zealand. ❑ True❑ False 5. Which of these car models features in the Harry Potter series? ❑ Vauxhall Viva❑ Ford Anglia ❑ Hillman Hunter❑ Morris Oxford 6. Which of these words describes a group of fish swimming together in a co-ordinated way? ❑ School ❑ Swirl❑ Shoal❑ Swarm 7. Which of these films starred George Lazenby as James Bond? ❑ You Only Live Twice❑ On Her Majesty’s Secret Service❑…