News & Politics
New Zealand Listener

New Zealand Listener Issue 43 2019

New Zealand Listener is the country’s most respected general interest magazine, bringing you a wide variety of news, stories, columns, reviews, plus TV listings, every week.

New Zealand
Bauer Media Pty Ltd
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in this issue

3 min.
grin and bear it

One would think Britain has enough constitutional emergencies to deal with without the future of the royal family being tossed into the tempest. And yet, Prince Harry’s vainglorious legal battle with the Daily Mail over his wife Meghan’s letter to her estranged father may one day be identified as a turning-point in public support for the monarchy. It was a minor media transgression in the scheme of things, and given that US federal agents are reportedly investigating Prince Andrew’s links with the late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, this is surely not the moment to pick gratuitous battles the Windsors might lose in the court of public opinion. Harry is at risk of endangering the royals’ implicit social licence by asserting a new privilege: the right to be exempt from tabloid scrutiny. The Mail…

10 min.
endeavour’s second coming

Graeme Lay’s account of Captain Cook’s early encounters with Māori (“Kapene Kuki’s life and times”, October 12) was a welcome counterpoint to the hysteria and emotive responses coming from certain quarters in this country. Such extravagant and inflammatory language as “ship of death”, in reference to the recent arrival of a replica ship to celebrate the 250th anniversary of James Cook’s landing, borders, some might argue, on hate speech. The far right has its equivalent of the far left in these islands. Lay provides a balanced account of what actually happened and the picture he offers of Cook is far removed from those playing to the max the political white-guilt card. I am waiting for the day when those who murdered Cook make an apology to his descendants, and those who murdered, dismembered…

1 min.
winning caption

Rex McGregor, Auckland FINALISTS Donald Trump: “There was no quid pro quo. We haven’t used British money for years.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae Boris Johnson: “I can make a fist of this Brexit thing!” – Kate Highfield, Hastings Johnson: “Believe me, Sunni and Shia are not the guys who sang I Got You, Babe.” – Dean Donoghue, Papamoa Beach Johnson: “So you’re the elephant in the room that I keep hearing about.” – Alan Belcher, Christchurch Johnson: “I’m jolly well smashing it in Europe!” – Kath Jones, Waikanae Trump: “Forget what the pound’s up to, I’m watching the Pence.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae Trump: “Impeachment! I love peaches. Always have.” – Vern Lilienthal, Tauranga Trump: “So here’s my catchy new slogan: ‘It’s the Putin Right That Counts’.” – John Haynes, Wellington…

1 min.
quips & quotes

“Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.”– Kin Hubbard“Trump’s like a mobster who instead of throwing a body in the trunk, throws it in the passenger seat so he can use the car pool lane.”– US comedian Seth Meyers“I swear, Trump has the only phone in the world with auto-incorrect.”– Seth Meyers“At this point it might be easier just to list the names of foreign leaders he hasn’t tried to extort, because what could Trump threaten to withhold from Australia – the Hemsworths?” – US comedian Jimmy Kimmel“The only thing stopping our system from collapsing is that everyone just ignores it. We’ve all gotten to the point where we have to treat the president of the United States like a guy taking a shit in a subway car.”– Seth…

1 min.
life in new zealand

[They] have bought one of the Taranaki Cathedral pews that was originally donated by their descendants. North Taranaki Midweek, 28/8/19 He says more research is needed as the methane calculation “is very simplistic because it’s difficult to measure”. North Canterbury News, 30/5/19 On Monday morning before work, I walked into the council building and put my orange envelope in a black box. It’s not hard to miss. It says “vote here” right above it. Bay of Plenty Times, 2/10/19 After getting off to a slightly shaky start in March 2018, the Pegasus Town SAYGo Falls Prevention Exercise Group is going strong! Keeping On, August 2019 Sometimes, the only sign may be reduced weight gain with the development of unthrifty lambs. The Farmlander, September 2019 LIFE IN NEW ZEALAND: Entries must describe New Zealand events. The first sender of those accepted…

1 min.
10 quick questions

1. Which of these microstates does not border France? ❑ Liechtenstein❑ Andorra❑ Monaco❑ Luxembourg 2. Which of these is not a book by Agatha Christie? ❑ Five Little Pigs❑ Death on the Nile ❑ A Scandal in Bohemia❑ Murder on the Orient Express 3. Which place was briefly promoted as “P-Town” in 2012? ❑ Palmerston North❑ Porirua❑ Pukekohe ❑ Paeroa 4. Which of these is not a tusked species? ❑ Beluga whale ❑ Hippopotamus❑ Narwhal❑ Warthog 5. From which poem does the phrase “an albatross around one’s neck” originate? ❑ O Captain! My Captain!❑ The Rime of the Ancient Mariner ❑ Sailing to Byzantium❑ The Faerie Queene 6. Which of these “buddy-cop” duos was never seen drawing or firing a gun? ❑ Starsky and Hutch ❑ Baker and Poncherello (CHiPs) ❑ Cagney and Lacey❑ Crockett and Tubbs (Miami Vice) 7. For which…