New Zealand Listener Issue 3 2020

It’s not as though the world needed more warnings about the climate crisis, but Australia’s catastrophic wildfires have established a new reality for the terrifying pace and alarming consequences of global warming. The wildfires, which have killed more than two dozen people and an estimated one billion animals, are the result of record heat and lasting droughts that are entirely consistent with scientific predictions of climate change. Set to worsen as summer progresses, the firestorms are still just a harbinger of what’s to come if the world misses its chance to limit warming to 1.5°C this decade. In a nation that, given two clear climate-change-mitigation alternatives to vote for last year, chose the option that was only half as fast in reducing emissions, these savage fires must surely trigger an urgent reassessment. The…

Trees That Count is giving away 10 native trees to be planted in community projects on behalf of the winners, who will be notified when and where their tree will be planted. They will also receive card game Tree Snap, printed on Forest Steward Council-certified paper. For a chance to win, visit noted.co.nz/win, or send your name and address to “Tree Snap”, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Entries close at midnight on Sunday, January 26, 2020. For information about tree gifting, visit treesthatcount.co.nz. Do you have a special tree story to share? Readers are invited to send memorable stories, including historical accounts, to: listener@bauermedia.co.nz…

The Editorial calling for a new flag (“Run this up the flagpole”, January 4) was spot on. The silver fern is an internationally recognised symbol of this country, and not only on the sporting field. However, New Zealanders are also known internationally as Kiwis and a stylised kiwi (black on a white background) would make an equally acceptable flag. The ideal time for the public to consider this proposal would be a binding referendum in this year’s election. Jerome O’Malley(Masterton) It is good to see the cry for a new Aotearoa flag has not abated. The 2016 referendum was a sad commentary on our partisan and adversarial political system, but also was hampered by the lack of a truly outstanding design. Efforts must continue to find a flag that unites this country, its indigenous…

Jane Legget, Auckland FINALISTS Ivanka Trump: “Someone just called you the bald-headed ego.” – Kevin Boyce, Raumati Beach Ivanka: “Daddy, don’t turn your back. Your hair has unzipped.” – Ken Heraty, Nelson Ivanka: “They’ve got Impeach Melba on the dessert menu.” – Lynda Kelly, Palmerston North Ivanka: “Mr Putin thinks I’ll be a great vice-president.” – Margaret Cannon, Palmerston North Ivanka: “I’ve just received this year’s election results from you-know-who.” – Graham Dickson, Dunedin Caption: “Ivanka inflates Kim’s surprise gift of a life-size dummy.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae Ivanka: “Just remember, you’re the best Boastmaster General this has country ever had.” – Dean Donoghue, Papamoa Beach Ivanka: “Daddy, you’ve got a new nickname – Peachy.” – Kate Highfield, Hastings…

“It’s going to be really bloody awkward when we all have to flee Australia on boats, you know.”– Australian cartoonist Jon Kudelka“Never have dinner with a chess master in a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It takes them two hours to pass the salt.”– seen on Twitter“I think it’s a good idea that 800 people are trying to save the planet and arriving all in separate limos to have some veg.”– Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes“I’m happy for the people that didn’t support me and I’m happy for the times that were the hardest times of my life, because I feel like that’s what makes you, you know. If everything is easy, you don’t really have anything to compare it to.” – Ellen DeGeneres“When I asked Quentin [Tarantino] how he…

1. Which movie ends with the line: “I’m an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook”? ❑ American Beauty❑ Goodfellas❑ Pretty Woman❑ Groundhog Day 2. Which space station burnt up in the atmosphere in 1979, with pieces landing in Australia? ❑ Tiangong-1❑ Mir❑ Kosmos 557❑ Skylab 3. Which of these words best describes the historical occupation of “chapman”? ❑ Coach driver❑ Storyteller❑ Trader❑ Scribe 4. Which of these is not typically associated with a church? ❑ Domus❑ Narthex❑ Chancel❑ Nave 5. In which of these countries is tipping a waiter likely to be considered unusual or rude? ❑ Japan❑ Canada❑ France❑ Germany 6. Craggy Island is the fictional setting for which TV sitcom? ❑ Fawlty Towers❑ Black Books❑ Father Ted❑ Dad’s Army 7. The aardwolf, a member of the hyena family, eats what? ❑ Insects❑ Aardvarks 8.…