New Zealand Listener Issue 8 2021

Ten years after the devastations of Christchurch’s earthquakes, some painful truths are still being digested. It is monstrous that our justice system has been unable to assign liability to any person for the collapse of the CTV building, when both individuals and entire systems meant to protect people failed. The building started folding in on itself within seconds, despite its structural strength having been repeatedly queried. The police considered laying negligent-manslaughter charges but could not satisfy themselves that they could prove the key issue: that a major departure or departures from the standard of care expected of a reasonable person had occurred. Most of the family and friends of the 115 people who died in the building during the February 22 quake – 62% of the 185 killed – would have been better…

In “City limits” (February 6), I felt Errol Haarhoff’s PhD student needed deeper research into why parks were easier to access in affluent suburbs, designed in enlightened times, than in South Auckland. The lack of parks and green corners has less to do with affluence and more to do with the developers, town planners and councils in the 1960s and 70s when vast areas of land were ripe for subdivision. Surveyors, who were the planners for big private housing subdivisions, knew about cluster housing surrounded by green spaces, neighbourhood lanes, bike lanes and local shops. They drew colourful plans following this policy, but time and again these plans were rejected by a developer hell-bent on squeezing as many sections as possible into areas of up to 200 acres, and the councils,…

WINNING CAPTION Neal Utting, Hamilton FINALISTS Mike Pence: “Gaga? So are you related to Donald? He’s also gaga.” – John Stribling, Wellington Pence: “I was expecting more of a meat and greet.” – Steve Godsiff, Timaru Lady Gaga: “Oh my God, we use the same colourist.” – Conal Atkins, Nelson Gaga belts out Queen song: “You had your time. You had the power. You’ve thrown away your finest hour.” – Alan Belcher, Christchurch Pence thinks: “Wish I hadn’t leftmy cardboard cut-out in the Oval Office.” – Dianna Rule, Dunedin Gaga: “No, I don’t do requests, Mike, even when it’s “Happy Days Are Here Again!” – Fergus Spence, Auckland…

“We’re going to have to retire the expression ‘avoid it like the plague’ because it turns out humans do not do that.”– Twitter“Over 20 days in and still no golf. Is Biden even taking this job seriously?”– social media“There’s a 20-year age gap between them – that’s what we in Hollywood call a marriage.”– Bill Maher referring to Tom Brady v Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl.“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”– Jerome K Jerome, quoted on GoodReads.com“The only time Trump refuses to speak is under oath.”– Twitter“Politics is not about the weird worship of one person.”– Republican senator Ben Sasse in condemning Trump’s actions.“‘Donald Trump will never let you down’ – says Donald Trump’s third wife.” – Twitter“The time to…

1. Which of these was a recommended course of action in the event of a nuclear attack? ❑ Duck and cover❑ Stop, drop and roll❑ Don’t panic!❑ Drop, cover and hold on 2. What kind of bird features on New Zealand’s $2 coin? ❑ Kōtuku/white heron❑ Matuku/bittern❑ Whio/blue duck❑ Kōrearea/New Zealand falcon 3. Which novel opens with the sentence: ‘You better not never tell nobody but God’? ❑ The Scarlet Letter❑ The Color Purple❑ Ragtime❑ The Grapes of Wrath 4. Which of these films does not star both Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise? ❑ Far and Away❑ Magnolia❑ Eyes Wide Shut❑ Days of Thunder 5. True or false? The fairytale ‘Goldilocks and the Three Bears’ is of British origin. ❑ True❑ False 6. Which of these is a light fruitcake that is particularly associated with Easter? ❑ Parkin cake❑ Simnel cake❑…

It’s a strange time to be any age (or anywhere, while we’re at it), but I’d argue my current count – 64 – rivals any for Covid-era complications. I will now explain why. The New York Times has a handy calculator that tells you, based on your age, occupation and presence or absence of underlying health conditions, where you stand in the 331-million-strong US vaccination line. At 64 and a freelance writer (arguably the least-essential profession on the planet) with no underlying health conditions, I am behind 268.7 million people. Those ahead of me include not only old people and essential workers, but also young adults, children and emotional-support animals. I presume I trail young adults and kids because their tendency towards irresponsible behaviour renders them more likely to become super-spreaders,…