New Zealand Listener Issue 13 2018

‘What’s in a name?” asks Juliet rhetorically in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” If her point was valid, then that which we call Hamilton by any other name, including the suggested Kirikiriroa, would still have the Waikato River running through it and cheaper house prices than Auckland. But if the name change became official, the one thing it would no longer be is “Hamilton”, the name by which the city and the town before it have been known for more than 150 years. Love-struck Juliet, wooed by a guy with a surname unacceptable to her family, understood the significance of names. Names of people and places, and even of brands, carry with them history, legend, culture, identity and…

Although screening for bowel cancer is long overdue (“Cancer car crash”, March 17), it remains profoundly depressing to read repeatedly of failures to investigate bowel symptoms where there is a clear need to do so. Bleeding from haemorrhoids occurs often, but diagnosing that as a cause of blood in the stool can only follow if the site of bleeding is clearly identified and blood is absent higher in the rectum. This requires more than a quick squiz at the patient’s rear end. Inflammatory bowel disease also needs to be excluded and that can be done only after internal visual examination. I lost track of how many cases of colorectal tumours I diagnosed in 33 years of general practice in the UK and New Zealand. In my surgery in 1976, I scoped the…

WINNING CAPTION A Neale, Nelson FINALISTS Queen: “That thong would be improved with a nice brooch and matching earrings.” – Margaret Cannon, Palmerston North Queen thinks: “I much prefer a dog walk to a cat walk.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae Queen snickers to herself: “She may be fashion royalty, but it’s one’s face on the money.” – Edith Macklin, Hastings Queen: “Oh, so that’s Victoria’s secret.” – Michael East, Christchurch Queen: “But those poor girls have no gloves!” – Rhonda Ramsay, Thames Anna Wintour: “There is only one queen of fashion, Ma’am.” – Peter Scanlan, Lower Hutt Queen: “In dark glasses, one imagines everything is Fifty Shades of Grey.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae…

“I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.” – Stephen Hawking “With all these headlines, I just assumed Steel Tariffs was Stormy Daniels’ co-star.” – US TV-show host Stephen Colbert “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon “Do not think your single vote does not matter much. The rain that refreshes the parched ground is made up of single drops.” – Kate Sheppard “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung “Life would be tragic if it weren’t so funny.” – Stephen Hawking “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag “The heart of an Irishman is nothing but…

I love the Meltin’ Mustardy Beef and all the egg recipes are suburb. Hawke’s Bay Today Weekend, 20/1/18 An Auckland housing crisis working group has been formed to find a solution to the city’s massive shortage, following five years of working in silos. rnz.co.nz, 10/2/18 Metservice meteorologist Lisa Murray said November was the second-driest year since records began in 1927. Dominion Post, 2/12/17 Situated in the beautiful township of Naseby, with its lovely old buildings from a bygone error, is the Royal Hotel … Otago Daily Times holiday guide, 30/11/17 Mr Goodmanson immediately called the Fire Service before zooming across the road in his night attire. Bay Harbour, 9/8/17 LIFE IN NEW ZEALAND: Entries must describe New Zealand events. The first sender of those accepted will receive a $5 Booksellers voucher. Enclose name, address and…

1. The Azores archipelago in the North Atlantic is an autonomous region of which country? □ Portugal □ France □ Spain □ Belgium 2. In which decade did pocket-sized electronic calculators become available? □ 1950s □ 1960s □ 1970s □ 1980s 3. Which play opens with the line “Now is the winter of our discontent”? □ Hamlet □ Angels in America □ Waiting for Godot □ Richard III 4. Which film features a central villain named Dr René Belloq? □ Marathon Man □ Raiders of the Lost Ark □ Chinatown □ Die Hard 5. The early game of bagatelle led to the development of which modern activity? □ Darts □ Pinball □ Table tennis □ Lawn bowls 6. The phrase “the rabbit died” was formerly a euphemism for what? □ Going bankrupt □ A confirmed pregnancy □ Getting divorced □ Declaring war 7. Which author is credited with inventing the word “cyberspace”? □ Shakespeare □ HG Wells □ Margaret Atwood □ William Gibson 8. True…