New Zealand Listener Issue 14 2018

1 Take in alpine views While the beaches often steal the limelight, some of New Zealand’s best scenery awaits those who venture inland. And one of the best ways to see the sights is from the comfort of a carriage on the TranzAlpine, a Kiwi train journey that’s not to be missed. The adventure begins in Christchurch, where the route tracks along the Waimakariri River before traversing the Southern Alps and winding past miles of native beech forest towards the final stop in Greymouth. A treat for train fans and nature lovers alike. 2 Enjoy a tipple at the Chateau With its classical architecture and elegant 1930s interior, the stately Chateau Tongariro is one of the country’s most iconic heritage buildings. On a fine day, there are breathtaking views of the…

1 Acceptance is guaranteed AA Life Funeral Cover gives you peace of mind knowing your loved ones won’t be left to cope with debt or the costs associated with your funeral. 2 Your policy pays out within 48 hours Losing a loved one is already a stressful and emotional time for families. That’s why in the majority of cases AA Life Funeral Cover pays out within 48 hours. 3 Money is paid tax-free With AA Life Funeral Cover, accepted claims are paid out tax-free, giving you the comfort of knowing your family will receive the full amount you’re covered for. 4 Health changes won’t affect your cover With AA Life Funeral Cover, your cover level and premiums will remain the same if your health changes. On your 90th birthday, your cover will continue free of charge from…

When the so-called “freedom cycling” movement talks about the pleasure of feeling the wind in one’s hair when cycling bareheaded, they do have a point. But it’s nothing compared with feeling the impact of concrete through one’s visceral cranium when hitting the ground without a helmet. The new crusade to make helmets optional for adults is based on nothing but “feels”. There’s no research establishing that cycling has become, or is about to become, safer. The one set of data the campaign relies on, a dramatic fall in tickets for failure to wear a helmet, tells us nothing. Helmet haters say police are ticketing less because they tacitly accept cycling is safe. That’s not the official police viewpoint – and it’s just as likely fewer tickets reflects widespread acceptance of our…

FIND US ONLINE VISIT US ONLINE FOR EXTRA CONTENT AND DAILY UPDATES • noted.co.nz/the-listener • twitter.com/nzlistener • facebook.com/nzlistener I smell reverse snobbery when guardians of our beautiful language are branded authoritarian-sounding “prescriptivists” (“Comma chameleon”, March 24) while those who would turn it into a largely punctuation-free pidgin English call themselves creative-sounding “descriptivists”. Fortunately, if the “descriptivist” philistines confine their ephemeral and Neanderthal lingo largely to the bear pit of social media, which at the moment appears to be the case, then correct, nuanced English can continue to evolve with the incremental changes that have always been its lifeblood. But widespread acceptance over time, not sloppy writers, will determine which changes become permanent. Language is no different from organised sport: it has to have comprehensive rules to function effectively. Imagine the chaos that would ensue if it were…

WINNING CAPTION Paul Kelly, Palmerston North FINALISTS David Beckham: “I think I’ve forgotten something.” – Sorrel Bovett, Kerikeri Victoria Beckham: “Wait for me, David – I’m what you want, what you really, really want.” – Helen Carver, Takapau Victoria: “Another bloody Becksit.” – Eleanor Middleton, New Plymouth David: “What, me carry your handbag? That’s not how I bend it.” – Kath Jones, Waikanae David: “This marriage is starting to lack spice.” – Lynda Kelly, Palmerston North Victoria: “Slow down – I don’t want to fall and break my neck again.” – Dianna Rule, Dunedin Caption Competition {caption@listener.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo above to caption@listener.co.nz, with “Caption Competition No 274” in the subject line. Alternatively, entries can be posted to “Caption Competition No 274”, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141, or submitted through listener.co.nz/win. Entries…

“Happy Commonwealth Day to 2.435 billion people bound together by a dream of getting their stuff back from the British Museum.” – tweet from @FactionToo “What sets you apart is what you’re willing to do for others. Anyone can put on a dress and makeup. It’s your mind that will define you.” – Angelina Jolie “Everything is better between two slices of bread.” – Nigella Lawson “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. Beautiful old people are works of art.” – Eleanor Roosevelt “It was Andy Warhol who said, ‘In the future, everyone will work at the White House for 15 minutes.’” – Daily Telegraph cartoonist Matt “There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as moral indignation – which permits envy to be acted out under the guise of virtue.” –…