New Zealand Listener Issue 14, 2023

Seriously, I thought it was over between us and I’d said my goodbyes, though he may not have noticed. That he was making his way off a stage and I was engulfed by really tall people was unhelpful. But alas, I bid my adieu. I found closure. Time and distance are no longer on our side, I reasoned – what choice did I have? And yet, so it seems, we are not done. The universe has other plans. Our stars are to align once more. I was in high school when Jackson Browne came into my life. Perhaps it was serendipity. Maybe it was meant to be. Either way, to a teenage girl operating in the high level of danger that is adolescence, disengaging from the world via this one man’s music was…

WINNING CAPTION John Edgar, Christchurch FINALISTS Ian Foster: “The learning I’m taking from here is that the numbers look good.” – Colin McGavin, Christchurch Foster: “NZRFU, Foster here … Ian Foster … F-O-S-T-E-R.” – Paul Kelly, Palmerston North Foster: “Before we start our chat I need to inform you I have with me my support team from NZRU.” – Stace Trask, Wellington Foster: “Te Whatu Ora? Fozzie here.” – David Field, Rotorua Foster: “Honey, I promise to do more chores once the World Cup is over.” – Joanne Buchanan, Lower Hutt Foster: “Nah, I’m surrounded by people at the moment, can’t talk.” – Trish Bishop, Hamilton Caption Competition {listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo at right to listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz, with “Caption Competition No 505” in the subject line. Alternatively, entries can be posted to “Caption Competition No 505”, NZ…

The always-on digital mouse wheel that has become the new peril in gaining work-life balance (“Not getting the message”, March 25) is just another expression of our national weakness ‒ the cultural virtue of “working hard”. The term is now installed in our collective mindset. In the past week alone, Sky has told me it is working hard to resume transmission, Chorus and Transpower are working hard to secure connections, various hospital managers are working hard to reduce waiting times, teachers are working hard to educate children, ministers are working hard to resolve teachers’ industrial issues, Wellington Water is working hard to keep the right fluids flowing in the right direction, and Stats NZ is working hard to help us complete our census forms. I bet I missed a few. The Prime…

“You can hire those beautiful trucks covered in cones, plant them wherever you like, lay out cones and charge like hell, and it’s got completely annoying.”– Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown“One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car.”– on Twitter“The Prime Minister’s made it very clear to me if I stuff up like this again then I’m gone.”– Labour MP Stuart Nash“I don’t have pet peeves; I have whole kennels of irritation.”– Whoopi Goldberg“We went to a museum, and I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing an obnoxious exhibit called other kids.”– on Twitter“Work is hard. Distractions are plentiful. And time is short.”– Adam Hochschild“You can disagree without being disagreeable.”– Ruth Bader Ginsburg“I’ve been on my last…

1. What is the more common name of hallux valgus? ❑ Tennis elbow❑ Bunion❑ Pimple❑ Wart 2. What is the original meaning of sycophant? ❑ Lover❑ Performer❑ Bully❑ Informer 3. Which country does not have a coastline on the Mediterranean Sea? ❑ Italy❑ Spain❑ Morocco❑ Serbia 4. Who said, “To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.” ❑ W Somerset Maugham❑ EM Forster❑ DH Lawrence❑ Edith Wharton 5. What was the given first name of the recently deceased Pope Benedict? ❑ Joseph❑ Michael❑ Karl❑ Klaus 6. In which Australian state or territory is Uluru/Ayers Rock? ❑ Queensland❑ Western Australia❑ South Australia❑ Northern Territory 7. What was the nickname of recently retired US quarterback Tom Brady? ❑ Tom Terrific❑ Shady Brady❑ Tiger Tom❑ Throw Mobile 8. What does brumous mean? ❑ Wintry❑ Sunny❑ Autumnal❑…

As I ambled aimlessly onto a pedestrian crossing in the busy commercial district of Siesta Key, Florida, a massive black pickup truck blew through the stop sign, coming within about a metre of ending me. “Yeah, keep driving like that and you’ll end up dead or in jail,” I yelled. In retrospect, this seems like pretty quick thinking but extremely stupid vocalising, as I’m guessing 50-75% of Florida drivers have a gun handy at all times. For all I know, it may be illegal to drive a pickup in the Gunshine State without a firearm. Thankfully, the driver was too busy being an arse and accelerating to be bothered by my barbs. So many pedestrians, so little time. I walk a lot, especially when it’s warm, which it was in Siesta…