New Zealand Listener Issue 4 2018

The worst plastic pollutants, especially of the marine environment, are trivial items we use every day, with little thought. Among the most striking and unsettling moments of 2017 was when Sir David Attenborough spoke of his Blue Planet II film crew finding albatrosses trying to feed their chicks plastic waste. “The albatross parent has been away for three weeks gathering stuff for her young,” the naturalist said at the launch of the television series, “and what comes out? You think it’s going to be squid, but it’s plastic. The chick is going to starve and die.” Attenborough urged drastic reduction in the world’s use of plastics. Who could possibly disagree? Our own precious dolphins, the World Wide Fund for Nature warns, are being threatened by solid rubbish such as plastic shopping bags, which…

Creating better roads and promoting better driving are clearly vital in reducing the road toll (Editorial, January 13), but if the objective is to have fewer people killed or injured on our roads, another key element – the crash-survival rate – also needs greater consideration. The 2017 road toll was 380, a shocking statistic but, incredibly, less than half of 1987’s 795 despite there now being many more cars on the road, travelling many more kilometres each year. Why did the toll decrease so dramatically in those 30 years? Not because the roads were better or because the standard of driving improved, but because more people survived major accidents when travelling in vehicles that had airbags, crumple zones and side intrusion bars. Clearly, the influx of imported modern second-hand cars has been…

WINNING CAPTION Geoffrey Levick, Kumeu, Auckland FINALISTS Trump: “Fire and Fury? He’s just a lone Wolff.” – Hans Zindel, Palmerston North Trump: “I don’t like it – your suit buttons are bigger than mine.” – Warren Shaw, Marton Trump: “This is the beginning of a new arms race.” – Mike Lynch, Upper Hutt Trump: “I’m a stable genius – I can tell horseshit when I smell it.” –Ann Love, Nelson Trump: “Do you want to feel my big button?” – Alice Tartt, Pakuranga, Auckland Trump: “Relax. My hand’s nowhere near your pocket.” – Barbara Harwood, Kohimarama, Auckland Caption Competition {caption@listener.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo above to caption@listener.co.nz, with “Caption Competition No 264” in the subject line. Alternatively, entries can be posted to “Caption Competition No 264”, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141, or…

“For the male nominees in the room tonight, this will be the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.” – Seth Meyers at the Golden Globes “A string of words that could not be better designed to infuriate our president – Hollywood Foreign Press Association. The only name that could make him angrier is the ‘Hillary Mexico Salad Association’.” – Ibid. “Talk, talk, talk: the utter and heartbreaking stupidity of words.” – William Faulkner, quoted in a New Yorker article about Twitter “The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected.” – GK Chesterton “Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your…

“While popping out the four boys the love of gardening grew.” Taranaki Daily News, 2/12/17 In 1955, the British Admiralty suggested they try the Antarctic but then went cold on that idea. Dominion Post, 30/10/17 “I started out as a competitive swimmer. I now train a minimum of nine days a week for two hours to be the best that I can.” Rodney Times, 8/8/17 (Note: Personal laundry and mending of resident students is not done by the College). Massey University historic-building fundraising appeal brochure “These dots are where we’re building new traffic signals,” he said, pointing to a map full of dots. “That’s an awful lot. That’s more than we’ve got already.” Bay of Plenty Times, 17/6/17 For Sale Double Sided Draught Stopper Door not included. NZ Herald, 7/7/17 LIFE IN NEW ZEALAND: Entries must describe New Zealand events. The first sender…

1. Where on some people would you find Darwin’s tubercle? ❑ Ear ❑ Foot ❑ Nose ❑ Hand 2. The old-time expression “duck soup” refers to something that is … what? ❑ Unusual ❑ Easy ❑ Delicious ❑ Misleading 3. Which of these is not a variety of potato? ❑ Red Rascal ❑ Desiree ❑ Hayward ❑ Moonlight 4. True or false? Qantas is the only major airline never to have had a fatal jet accident. ❑ True ❑ False 5. What exactly was the famous Carrington Event of 1859? ❑ Stock market crash ❑ Solar storm ❑ Failed coup ❑ Meteorite impact 6. Who wrote the acclaimed 1962 novel Pale Fire? ❑ Kurt Vonnegut ❑ Richard Yates ❑ Ursula Le Guin ❑ Vladimir Nabokov 7. True or false? The word “coma” is an abbreviation of “cessation of motor activity”. ❑ True ❑ False 8. Which of these terms refers to a part of the internet that’s inaccessible with standard web…