New Zealand Listener Issue 4, 2023

Despite its deep overlay of English and Christian culture, New Zealand is still primarily a Pacific Island nation. We know that Auckland is the world’s largest Polynesian city. We see the Pacific as our vast blue neighbourhood, a place for holidays to get away from the New Zealand winter. We are keenly aware of the cultural contribution Pasifika people make to our nation, from former poet laureate Selina Tusitala Marsh to geographer Associate Professor Yvonne Underhill-Sem, the Naked Samoans, all the All Blacks of Pacific Island origin, and many more iconic personalities and organisations. The New Zealand government, throughfriendship treaties, formal governance associations with some Pacific Island states and foreign aid programmes, plays a pivotal role in the sustainable development of the Blue Pacific–the 17 nation states of the south-west Pacific,…

WINNING CAPTION Graham Hall, Auckland FINALISTS Caption: Lionel Messi responds to the spectator who called him “Noddy”. – Mike Hamblyn, Dunedin TV announcer: “And with typical consummate skill, Messi lifts his head off.” – Niels Jonker, Wellington Caption: Messi tries to hear the crowd above the constant “ka ching” ringing in his head. – Steve Godsiff, Timaru Lionel Messi: “Na na na na na, beat ya!” – Sorrel Bovett, Kerikeri Messi: “Yah, yah. Yah, yah. Fumble Fingers!” – Bob Richardson, Christchurch Messi: “I can’t hear yoooou.” – Robert Morey, Dunedin Caption Competition {listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo at right to listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz, with “Caption Competition No 495” in the subject line. Alternatively, entries can be posted to “Caption Competition No 495”, NZ Listener, PO Box 52122, Kingsland, Auckland 1352. Entries must be received by noon, Tuesday, January 24. THE PRIZE…

Thank you, Amanda Landers, for having the wisdom to challenge us to say the “D” word (Upfront, January 14). Greater use of the word “passed” to speak of someone who has died has frustrated me intensely. We all need to face the fact that we will die. As a minister of religion, I have attended the needs of the dying and taken many a funeral. It is true that people, even some who have faith in God, struggle with the “D” word. We can make it easier for ourselves and our families if we take the initiative while we are still alive and kicking, and of sound mind, to prepare for the day we die. For instance, you can make a will, have a care plan, decide on cremation or burial and,…

The QI elves are a team of writers and comedians who find the answers to impossible questions, doing the research for the long-running QI TV series, podcasts and the spin-off books. For the next little while, we’ll be running some of their finest findings: the weird, wonderful, witty and wise, from their latest book, 222 QI Answers to Your Quite Ingenious Questions. If I were to toss a bottle into the sea, how long would it take to travel around the world? As far as we can tell, no bottle has ever travelled all the way around the world and landed back at the place where it was thrown. In 2020, one was found on a beach in Jersey, and it contained a message written on that island 82 years earlier. We’d…

“Prince Harry will be here to talk about his new memoir, also available in audio book and commemorative plate.”– Stephen Colbert“There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.”– Josh Billings“Never seen an unhappier ‘happy man’ in my life. Prince Harry’s a bitter, delusional, paranoid, family-trashing halfwit exposing & exploiting the Royals’ most personal secrets for gazillions whilst wanging on with jaw-dropping hypocrisy about media intrusion. He’s pathetic.”– Piers Morgan“Ugh, housework is so thankless. You vacuum the whole house and six months later, you have to do it again. What even is the point?”– NZ author Rachael King, on Twitter“Prince Harry lost his virginity to an older woman in the a field behind a pub. He truly is the people’s prince.”– Seen on Twitter“I know I had…

1. Elephants are either right-tusked or left-tusked. ❑ True❑ False 2. Kurt Cobain was the lead singer of which band? ❑ Pearl Jam❑ Nirvana❑ Red Hot Chili Peppers❑ Green Day 3. Which cheese in Monty Python’s Cheese Shop sketch had been eaten by the cat? ❑ Camembert❑ Brie❑ Gorgonzola❑ Caerphilly 4. In what year did the first woman run for US president? ❑ 1836❑ 1872❑ 1884❑ 1964 5. Who was the only United Nations Secretary-General to die while still in office? ❑ Dag Hammarskjöld❑ U Thant❑ Kurt Waldheim❑ Javier Pérez de Cuéllar 6. Longtime Queensland Premier Joh Bjelke-Petersen was born where in NZ? ❑ Hokitika❑ Masterton❑ Dannevirke❑ Waipukurau 7. What is the botanical Latin name for NZ flax/harakeke? ❑ Phormium tenax❑ Pseudopanax arboreus❑ Metrosideros umbellata❑ Pinus radiata 8. What country does not have a border with Kenya? ❑ Somalia❑ Uganda❑ Tanzania❑ Zambia 9. Which of these…