New Zealand Listener Issue 40 2018

It’s about time this Government moved beyond Labour’s campaign slogan of “Let’s Do This” and adopted Nike’s rather more urgent one: “Just Do It.” Yet, instead, it’s sliding into “To-Do List Limbo”. The growing perception that Labour, New Zealand First and the Greens are hopelessly mired in internal bickering and ministerial dithering isn’t entirely fair. But after several intra-coalition skirmishes, it’s now urgent for this administration to reveal more than “12 priorities”. Voters want to see action with immediate and tangible benefits. The Government has already spent almost a year putting up new goal posts. It’s time to take some goal kicks. Instead, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern crystallised the all-talk-no-action trope when she led a rally of the faithful last weekend, announcing still more goals. National Party leader Simon Bridges quipped that…

The Editorial (September 22) on Greater Wellington Regional Council’s (GWRC) bus service wrongly says that only a few councillors have admitted serious errors. Along with councillors Ian McKinnon, Sue Kedgley and Daran Ponter, I have admitted fundamental problems in the new bus arrangements, and we have given our unqualified apologies at public meetings throughout Wellington. Some of us were not councillors when the design of the service was approved in 2014, but the problems have surfaced on our watch and are our responsibility. People ask, “Why did you change the bus routes?” This is the first major change for three decades. In that time we have had population growth in some suburbs, people starting work earlier or finishing later, and growing traffic congestion. Before the changes, there were 140 buses an…

WINNING CAPTION Mark Bradley, St Clair, Dunedin FINALISTS Theresa May: “I twist a little to the right, then I kick to the left.” – Elly Inta, Henderson, Auckland May: “This is my well-used spin technique.” – Elaine McGlinchey, Kawerau Officer, thinking: “Keep a straight face. Keep a straight face.” – Steve Cox, St Albans, Christchurch May: “For Brexit to work, you just have to turn a little bit to the left.” – David Edwards May: “I put my hand on Boris’ head and held him under for five minutes.” – Mike Lynch, Upper Hutt Scout on left: “Jamboree!” May: “No, I jammed my knee!” – Tony Clemow, Kamo…

“I wrote this 43 years ago.” – Henry Winkler’s Emmy acceptance speech“It is perfectly okay for a man to identify as a woman, but once his breasts have been stapled on, don’t, for God’s sake, allow him to wear a kimono, because that would be cultural appropriation.”– Rod Liddle in the Spectator“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I have succeeded.”– Michael Jordan“My little girl is two and whenever she’s happy, she will just shout out ‘HAPPY’. There is nothing purer in this world than when she’s just sitting playing with her toys or eating toast and just yells out ‘HAPPY’ to let the universe know it’s doing a good job.”– writer Gerry McBride on Twitter“President Trump is imposing US$200 billion in…

“Karl Te Nana is our man on the sideline and he’s with a Nelson loco.” Sky Sport, 7/9/18 The creek at the back of the school is dangerously high, at the moment no students will be allowed to leave the grounds by the back entrance. We are monitoring the situation and will update via school stream. stuff.co.nz, 20/8/18 Critically endangered fairy terns have the protection of the Royal New Zealand Air Force at one of their breeding sites. Waikato Times, 4/9/18 At 5.35am, it was -1.9°C. It would be the highest temperature the barometer would read until production for the day wrapped. Otago Daily Times, 21/8/18 A spokeswoman for the Anglican diocese said no one was available to talk to me about cats. Press, 8/9/18 LIFE IN NEW ZEALAND: Entries must describe New Zealand events. The first sender of those accepted…

1. Which event prompted Winston Churchill’s “This was their finest hour” speech? □ Normandy landings □ Dambusters raid □ Bismarck sinking □ Battle of France 2. Where would you find a so-called Goldilocks zone? □ In an oven □ Underwater □ In space □ In a forest 3. Whose song begins: “I got my first real six-string, bought it at the five-and-dime”? □ Bryan Adams □ Joan Jett □ Bruce Springsteen □ Stevie Nicks 4. True or false? The drug thalidomide is still used in modern medicine. □ True □ False 5. Where is the only wild monkey population in Europe? □ Germany □ Russia □ Finland □ Gibraltar 6. Which fish species was known as the “slimehead” in NZ until the 1970s? □ Snapper □ Orange roughy □ Blue cod □ Red gurnard 7. Which of these is more likely to spontaneously catch fire? □ Dry hay bale □ Moist hay bale 8. In the Victorian era, what food was…