New Zealand Listener Issue 40, 2022

I was born in Chengdu, China – also the birthplace of pandas – but when I was four, we moved as a family first to Britain, then to the United States, eventually settling in New Zealand. Within six months of leaving China, I had forgotten how to speak the local Chengdu dialect. My dad told me that one day on the bus when I was five or six, I just started speaking English and that was that. My parents, and occasionally my grandparents when they came to visit, did their best to teach me Chinese. By then, however, I had decided I couldn’t see the point of spending extra hours indoors, repeating words and writing characters repeatedly while my friends were out playing. It was only years later, having finished my postgrad studies…

WINNING CAPTION Kate Gore, Tauranga FINALISTS Venus Williams: “Daddy told you not to use that word when you missed a shot.” – Gary Hirst, Auckland Serena Williams: “Try to look mysterious. I want them to think we’re plotting something.” – Margaret Cannon, Palmerston North Serena: “Is it you or me to serve next?” – Paul Kelly, Palmerston North Caption: The Williams sisters. Shy and retiring. – Steve Godsiff, Timaru Serena: “Shhh, I’m not really gonna retire.” – Ann Kidd, Motueka Serena: “Psst: does Dad know that we’re retiring?” – Kevin Boyce, Raumati Beach Caption Competition {listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo at right to listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz, with “Caption Competition No 480” in the subject line. Alternatively, entries can be posted to “Caption Competition No 480”, NZ Listener, PO Box 52122, Kingsland, Auckland 1352. Entries must be received by noon,…

Under the terms of the Act of Settlement 1701 (amended to remove gender discrimination in 2013), the heir to the British throne becomes King or Queen the instant the previous monarch dies. So, New Zealand did not rapidly accept Charles as King, as Chris Brady (Letters, September 24) suggests. Within a day or so, Charles was proclaimed King to the population of the UK in a traditional ceremony – a relic of the times before mass communication. A similar proclamation was made in New Zealand. Neither government had the power to accept or reject what was already the status quo. The head of state of New Zealand since the Treaty of Waitangi was signed has been the British monarch. Nothing alters when there is a change of monarch. And, of course, in a hereditary…

“A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.”– Robert Frost“I love how Charles says the pen leaks on him all the time. You’re literally the King of England, dude! If you don’t like the pens, get different pens.”– Trevor Noah on a video of King Charles being irritated by a fountain pen“I am a part of everything I have read.”– Theodore Roosevelt“Zendaya just turned 26 last week. Twenty-six is a weird age in Hollywood. I mean, you’re young enough to play a high school student, but you’re too old to date Leonardo DiCaprio.”– Kenan Thompson at the 2022 Emmys“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.”– Rita Mae Brown“Money does not make you happy, but it quiets the…

1. Which of these countries or regions is not a former colony of Portugal? ❑ Brazil❑ Angola❑ Macau❑ Philippines 2. The Sheffield Shield is Australia’s premier domestic competition for which sport? ❑ Cricket❑ Australian Rules❑ Rugby❑ Soccer 3. What item of equipment must be worn by boxers in the Olympics, but not in professional bouts? ❑ Singlet❑ Boots❑ Mouthguard❑ Gloves 4. Douwe Egberts, Folgers, Maxwell House and Kenco are all common overseas brands of … what? ❑ Instant coffee❑ Chocolate❑ Mustard❑ Biscuits 5. Which of these stage musicals is performed with the cast on roller skates? ❑ Miss Saigon❑ Aspects of Love❑ Hair❑ Starlight Express 6. Which of these artworks is not housed in the Louvre Museum in Paris? ❑ Liberty Leading the People❑ Venus de Milo❑ The Starry Night❑ The Raft of the Medusa 7. Which of these writers was a…

There’s a weaselly dictator in our midst. A fleshy-faced despot, he has curbed media freedoms, bent local judiciary to his will and boasted about being a defender of “family values” who opposes “gay propaganda” and “mixed-race” relationships. And no, it’s not Donald Trump or Vladimir Putin. Please welcome to the stage the European Union’s very own Viktor Orbán, Prime Minister of Hungary. The US’ extreme right-wing Conservative Political Action Conference did exactly that this summer. Invited to Texas for the conference, Orbán told the global, liberal order to “go to hell” to applause from a rabid conflagration of racists, bigots, trucker-cap-lovers and Trump supporters. Querying why US conservatives are fanboying so hard for Orbán, experts have come to this conclusion: he has shown the world how to turn a democracy into an…