New Zealand Listener Issue 7, 2023

It’s the Sunday after the Auckland floods. I’m standing near my old school friend Jo Lodge’s childhood home in Tennessee Ave, Māngere. The street backs onto a creek, where Jo’s brothers used to play with their neighbours. On the first day of Auckland’s deluge, that same creek morphed into a fully fledged river, viciously gouging out backyards, tossing cars, rubbish bins and sleepouts aside, before slinking back into the mangroves and mud. I expected bustle, noise and movement, but everything is quiet. Walking towards me is my Neighbourhood Support mate Toni Helleur, her reassuring smile matching the brilliance of her fluorescent jacket. Toni and her companions are checking in with their community, house by ruined house. We stop beside a stormwater drain; the grille has popped and been swept away. It’s a…

WINNING CAPTION Ann Love, Nelson FINALISTS “This is the strangest pissoir I have ever used …” – Cathy McPherson, Christchurch Smuggling budgies on British Rail. – Ellie Henderson, Motueka Wayne and Tim found the kangaroo suits oppressively hot so they stripped down to their underwear for the train ride home. – Bernard Harris, Palmerston North “Are you sure these are washing machines?” – John McEwen, Whakatāne Modelling the new Depends range, Harry had inadvertently chosen the women’s pair. – Mary Wyley, Whanganui Cheeky briefs and beefy cheeks on special offer. – Marie Curran, Dunedin Caption Competition {listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo at right to listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz, with “Caption Competition No 498” in the subject line. Alternatively, entries can be posted to “Caption Competition No 498”, NZ Listener, PO Box 52122, Kingsland, Auckland 1352. Entries must be received by…

Ruth Nichol peels the lid off the aged-care sector (“An age-old problem”, February 4), reporting that half the beds are now provided by large publicly listed or private companies. She quotes sector leaders blaming staff shortages on low wages and Covid-19 restrictions. Having worked in the sector for 45 years, I believe that successive governments have made a mess of both funding and immigration. But the Aged Care Association, quoted in this story, is hardly innocent. Until 2017, it actively opposed attempts by E tū to secure pay equity for the largely female care staff – fighting the union all the way to the Court of Appeal. It lost, and the taxpayer chipped in $2 billion. Sadly, seven years on, actual pay equity has yet to be determined for care staff, let alone…

The QI elves are a team of writers and comedians who find the answers to impossible questions, doing the research for the long-running QI TV series, podcasts and the spin-off books. For the next little while, we’ll be running some of their finest findings: the weird, wonderful, witty and wise, from their latest book, 222 QI Answers to Your Quite Ingenious Questions. How do QR codes work? QR – short for “quick response” – codes date from the 1990s. They were initially used at a Japanese car manufacturing plant to keep track of production lines and vehicle parts, but didn’t hit the mainstream until most of us had a smartphone in our pocket. Every tiny square in a QR code is a “bit” of information, representing either a “0” or a “1”. Each…

“Anyway, I’ve got to deal with media drongos over the flooding tomorrow so, sadly, no tennis for me.”– Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown, as reported by the NZ Herald“The Wayne, in rain, failed badly to explain.”– Seen on Twitter“Whenever you’re experiencing impostor syndrome, think of Wayne Brown doing that press conference and be reassured you’re doing just fine.”– Seen on Twitter“Not all young people are idiots.”– Titewhai Harawira“It’s a one-in-100-year weather event and we seem to be getting a lot of them at the moment, and I think people can see that there’s a message in that.”– Chris Hipkins on the Auckland floods.“Wayne Brown’s side gig as mayor is getting in the way of his tennis career.”– Seen on Twitter“If I can be the first All Black that comes out as…

1. The compact by which Commonwealth countries agreed to do away with male-preference rule for the UK crown was signed in which city in 2011? ❑ Sydney❑ Auckland❑ Perth❑ Mumbai 2. What quantity of gold was used to coat the mirrors of the space-based Webb telescope? ❑ A leaf❑ A golf ball❑ A baseball❑ A basketball 3. The 1980s US sitcom Mork and Mindy starring Robin Williams and Pam Dawber was a spinoff from which TV series? ❑ Miami Vice❑ Night Court❑ Family Ties❑ Happy Days 4. Which was NOT an early title for F Scott Fitzgerald’s novel The Great Gadsby? ❑ The High Bouncing Lover❑ Under the Red, White, and Blue❑ Trimalchio in West Egg❑ Poor Boys and Rich Girls 5. Which American writer has not won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction? ❑ Toni Morrison❑ E Annie Proulx❑…