New Zealand Listener Issue 9, 2023

Care for the elderly and for palliative-care patients needs to become an election issue. Why? Current care is already inadequate, and future provision is uncertain. In Ruth Nichol’s excellent article (“An age-old problem”, January 28), Presbyterian Support’s Jo O’Neill said she was worried we are well on our way to creating a two-tier system. I would argue that system is already here. I have just retired from working as a palliative-care social worker. This required regular contact with residential facilities and frail and elderly patients, as well as younger palliative patients. An already stretched residential care system, pre-Covid, has been placed under enormous strain by staff and financial shortages. It used to be possible to obtain respite beds in residential facilities, allowing carers to have a much-needed break knowing their loved one was…

WINNING CAPTION Andrew Hawkey, Christchurch FINALISTS Elton John: “Someone lit a candle in my wind!” – Paul Kelly, Palmerston North “Oh dear, shouldn’t have tried the Kiwi tongue-twister Orangetheory Stadium!” – David Scott, Gisborne “Relax. It’s icing sugar.” – Ann Love, Nelson It was not long after the concert started that Elton John realised he had food poisoning. – Vic Evans, Nelson Elton bids New Zealand audiences a passionate farewell. – Marie Curran, Dunedin Elton John: “Ka mate, ka mate! Ka ora, ka ora!’ – Bob Richardson, Christchurch Caption Competition {listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz} TO ENTER Send your captions for the photo at right to listenercaption@aremedia.co.nz, with “Caption Competition No 500” in the subject line. Alternatively, entries can be posted to “Caption Competition No 500”, NZ Listener, PO Box 52122, Kingsland, Auckland 1352. Entries must be received by noon, Tuesday, February 28. THE PRIZE A…

Sociologist Steve Matthewman (“Trauma centre”, February 11) refers to Christchurch and its environs as “a living laboratory for investigating the resurrection and rebuilding of cities and communities”. Personally, I’d like us to contemplate the many natural disasters the world is facing, as well as the man-made disasters – wars and conflicts – that end in lives wasted. Consider also the devastation wrought by earthquakes in Turkey and Syria. There are signs the rising death toll was seriously aggravated by the criminally inferior construction of so many high-rise buildings. Additional slaughter ensued from the actions of government officials and building firms. There’s a grim irony in this particular disaster following so soon after the Christchurch article was published. More “living laboratories” of loss and lamentation? Matthewman can also add Putin’s invasion of Ukraine to…

The QI elves are a team of writers and comedians who find the answers to impossible questions, doing the research for the long-running QI TV series, podcasts and the spin-off books. For the next little while, we’ll be running some of their finest findings: the weird, wonderful, witty and wise, from their latest book, 222 QI Answers to Your Quite Ingenious Questions. Why do dogs chase cats? It’s all down to how the two animals react to being surprised. When a cat encounters a dog for the first time, its instinct is to run away and hide. An unfamiliar animal might be prey or it might be a predator, so they need a bit of space in order to work out whether to pounce or flee. A dog’s instinct, on the other…

“The severity and the breadth of damage we are seeing has not been seen in a generation.”– Prime Minister Chris Hipkins on Cyclone Gabrielle“For a start, it’s not Piha.”– Garth Cunningham, on why he loves cyclone-hit Karekare“Forgot to mute myself on a Zoom call while my kids were home and my boss gave me three extra weeks of vacation.”– Seen on Twitter“Parenting on weekdays is waking up with a headache and then dropping the headache to school.”– Seen on Twitter“We can’t plan life. All we can do is be available for it.”– Lauryn Hill“Cock your hat, angles are attitudes.”– Frank Sinatra“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.”– Joan Rivers“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are…

1. The method for evaluating female representation in film, in which at least two women talk to each other about something other than a man, has been named: ❑ The Bechdel test❑ The DuVernay test❑ The Finkbeiner test❑ The Vito Russo test 2. Nazaré in Portugal is famous for what? ❑ Nightclubs❑ Wine❑ Surfing❑ Architecture 3. The special forces known as “Green Berets” are part of which division of the US military? ❑ Army❑ Navy❑ Airforce❑ Marine Corps 4. How many litres in a Nebuchadnezzar wine bottle? ❑ Nine❑ Twelve❑ Fifteen❑ Eighteen 5. What is the fourth element in the periodic table? ❑ Helium❑ Boron❑ Beryllium❑ Carbon 6. The female lead in the 1981 neo-noir film Body Heat was played by who? ❑ Sean Young❑ Kathleen Turner❑ Glenn Close❑ Kirstie Alley 7. A merrythought is an old name for: ❑ A wide-brimmed hat❑…