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Real People Issue 23 2021

Real People is a real-life title which delivers real-life stories, puzzles (and prizes) and affordable practical advice (food, fashion & beauty).

United Kingdom
Hearst Magazines UK
52 Issues

in this issue

1 min
this week in your fab value

We’ve all had a strange old birthday this past year. For most of us, it will have been a Billy-no-mates one. No house heaving with the girls, no birthday banquet at our favourite restaurant. Not even a loud rendition of Happy Birthday To You, what with singing being a super-spreader event… So now I’m forever saying I want a refund — a year knocked off my age for lockdown. Well, it’s worth a try. But however underwhelming your last celebration was, was it as gutting as Nikki’s? Her lovely mum, spending lockdown shielding, sent along a generous gift instead. Out of a box bobbed a helium-filled balloon with a long ribbon tail, and a fistful of cash attached to it. On it bobbed and bobbed… ever skywards, taking quite a…

3 min
our mad world!

Comedy TOT FROMAGE PLAY My three-year-old daughter nose the perfect way to eat her yogurt... You do you, Shelby! Stacy Chapman, Kingswinford, West Mids UK A bloke dodging arrest led cops on the most British police chase ever, escaping on a canal narrowboat doing 4mph! An officer was in hot pursuit, on a pushbike. After eight long, slow miles, Leicestershire cops finally got their man. FEVER GLITCH You don’t see many John Travolta afros but this is me channelling the Grease star when we all really needed a laugh. It’d been so long since a trip to the salon, that that could actually be my hair! Lisa Best, Crewe, Cheshire BEST BAR NONE These retro snacks are long gone but Brits want them back - tout sweet! ● WispaMint (axed in 2003) ● Galaxy Truffle from Celebrations (2011) ● Tooty Frooties…

8 min
wrestling with the past

The eyebrow movement, the glint in the eye. I began to giggle at my brother, Brian, 11. He had the mannerisms of The Rock down to a T. Then came the swagger and the strut. Dwayne Johnson was Brian’s wrestling hero. ‘The Rock will layeth the smacketh down,’ boomed my baby brother, striding around the living room. I was two years older than him. We had a younger sister and brother, too, but me and Brian were always close. Bottom was our favourite telly programme. We knew Rik Mayall’s fart jokes and frying pan slapstick off by heart, acting out scenes to the family on Christmas Day. Our mum and dad had split, but we saw Dad regularly – he was only 15 minutes away at his tower block flat. ‘I’ve been watching the wrestling on the telly from America,’…

3 min
on the ropes

Robert came out. His face was chalk white. ‘You need to call an ambulance right now,’ he said. I fumbled with my phone… ‘Why? What…?’ But Robert stood in my way, stopped me looking over his shoulder by closing the door. ‘He’s on the sofa,’ Robert said. I collapsed to the floor. I knew, I just knew my baby brother was dead. He was just 34. A doctor later confirmed that he’d been dead for about eight hours. Post-mortem tests showed he’d taken street Valium – they were the pills I’d told him to avoid. ‘I know he wouldn’t have done it deliberately,’ I wept to Robert. ‘He just wanted to sleep.’ Only sleep would take away the demons in his head. Brian was buried. I had a teddy made from his pink Scotland football shirt. It seemed a sweet keepsake…

2 min
real people roulette

1 What fairytale features the line, ‘Who’s been sleeping in my bed?’ 2 What is a male cat called? 3 Find five cinema chains. 4 What fairytale features the line, ‘Whosoever this glass slipper fits, I shall take as my wife’? 5 Who has announced that she is leaving as host of Strictly spin-off It Takes Two after 10 ‘joyful’ years? 6 What song includes the lyrics, ‘I’ve been waiting for so long, Now I’ve finally found someone to stand by me, We saw the writing on the wall, And we felt this magical fantasy… ’? 7 What fairytale features the line, ‘Let down your hair’? 8 How many points did the UK’s Eurovision hopeful James Newman score in this year’s competition? 9 Complete the joke: Where can you learn how to make ice cream? 10 What fairytale features…

8 min
my son’s not drunk!

Pop! The cork erupted out of the champers bottle and my husband, Lee, 52, sent a golden river of bubbles cascading into three glasses. Reaching over plates of Chinese food, in a restaurant above a posh London hotel, I raised my glass. ‘To Charlie,’ I cheered, to a chorus of clinks. ‘Thanks Mum,’ he said bashfully. March 2019, and our only child’s 23rd birthday. As we chased grains of rice with our chopsticks, Charlie followed his bubbly with a G&T. But that was his lot. Getting plastered on his special day wasn’t his style. I supposed it was the sportsman in him. As a kid he’d been into acting, big-time, even appeared in a TV ad with Alan Carr. But then his other passion of golf took over, and he grew up to putt professionally. Still, I’d made sure to give…