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Real People Issue 29 2021

Real People is a real-life title which delivers real-life stories, puzzles (and prizes) and affordable practical advice (food, fashion & beauty).

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Country:
United Kingdom
Language:
English
Publisher:
Hearst Magazines UK
Frequency:
Weekly
$1.29
$42.35
52 Issues

in this issue

1 min
this week in your fab value

I’ve mentioned my moggies before — a pair of rescues we call Eminem, for Marco and Maya. A pair of evil geniuses, as all cats are. Well, only evil if you happen to be a poor little shrew. ‘Naughty geniuses’ is a better description. Once Marco gave me three sleepless nights by getting himself stuck up a tree in woods (a miracle we found him). He also gave a neighbour a near coronary by sneaking into his house, hiding in his bedroom then yowling from the darkness when the poor man went to bed. But currently it’s his sister’s turn. Two nights ago she brought a mouse into the house and let it go, saying ‘Meh!’ It’s now living somewhere in my dining room, resisting the lure of the humane traps…

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3 min
our mad world!

Cute TOT HOLD THE FRONT PAGE Here’s my seven-month-old grandson catching up on the day’s news. What’s Boris done now, Freddie?! Christine Ellmore, Braintree, Essex INDIA A woman reported missing 11 years ago was found living next door with her secret lover. The man always kept the spare room locked so his family didn’t know about her. The pair came out in the day when everyone was at work. FIRST CLASS A tea cosy for a post box? Well now I’ve seen everything! Post Office staff said it was courtesy of the ‘Yarn Bombers’, anonymous knitters spreading some cheer. Claire Codling, Halifax, West Yorks. STICKY SITUATIONS People get stuck in some odd places… • Inside an ATM (repairman, Texas) • Kids’ swing (teenager, Leicester) • Folding chair (woman fetishist, Australia) • McDonald’s baby high chair (drunk woman, Basildon – see below) • Hand down toilet…

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8 min
tricks and mortar

Ducking down out of sight, I tried to disappear into the clouds of fag smoke outside Greys Club in Newcastle. I hadn’t seen him for over a year but the face of that man I’d just spotted was seared into my brain. A burning itch of regret. ‘That’s my ex,’ I hissed to the bloke I’d been chatting to – Leon Calhoun, 26. A regular at the club’s Rise alternative night, I knew nearly every goth and emo in the place. This lad, Leon, I’d just met through a friend of my mate, Alex. Dark and canny looking, Leon was in a smart shirt, not the same skinny jeans, black band tees and scruffy Converse as the rest of the lads. Though I was out celebrating my 23rd birthday that night in October 2019 with my mates,…

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4 min
a rapist too?!

There had been lie after lie. I stared at my laptop screen as it was revealed Leon was actually unemployed. His studies were also fictional. As was his date of birth. He was 34, not 27! Even little Tilly was a cruel fib. God knows whose child he’d shown me pictures of. Recorder Ben Nolan QC told him, ‘You told her you had a house in Durham, which was completely untrue. ‘You told her you had a mortgage, which was completely untrue. ‘You told her you were the manager of a salon in Leeds, which was false. ‘You even told her you had a daughter, someone whose name you invented. ‘Over a period of eight months you lived a complete lie, leeching off that young woman until the point she had no funds to give you.’ So that’s why we…

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3 min
get in line!

Mother of God, series six of the hit BBC drama Line of Duty had us all glued to our screens as DS Steve Arnott and DI Kate Fleming were out chasing bent coppers on the gritty streets of… well, the characters never mention which city they work in. But any good armchair detective will have figured out that the show is filmed in Belfast. So walk a day in their police-issue shoes and discover a swanky city with a lively nightlife... HALL OF FAME Start at Belfast City Hall, a focal point of the city centre and often featured in Line of Duty (LoD). The landmark was built with Portland stone in 1906, to reflect Belfast being granted the status of city by Queen Victoria. As well as hosting the annual Christmas tree…

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8 min
hard to stomach

Bundling nappies into an overnight bag, I felt a twinge of unease. My first night away from my three-month-old twins, Stella and Jackson. After a difficult pre-eclampsia birth, it felt like only yesterday that I’d had them in the crook of each arm on my hospital bed. Two armfuls of relief and joy. But I had to admit, me and my hubby, Mikey, 25, were looking forward to a break from the feeding, changing and burping! I dropped them round my mum, Susan’s, that April last year – she lived just 20 minutes away from our five-acre country home near Leesville, Louisiana. ‘See you tomorrow,’ I whispered, not wanting to wake them. Now the party could begin! We’d invited a few family and friends over for a big crawfish cook-up, Cajun-style! The lobster-like shellfish were in season and it’s…

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