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Australian PenthouseAustralian Penthouse

Australian Penthouse June/July 2018

An international men's magazine focused on glamour photography and lifestyle.

Country:
Australia
Language:
English
Publisher:
Global Media & Entertainment Pty Ltd
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6 Issues

IN THIS ISSUE

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from the editor-in-chief

Earlier this year, the United States Congress passed two bills with wide-reaching implications for sex workers around the world. By attacking websites that advertise sexual services, “SESTA/FOSTA” aimed to put an end to the illicit sex trafficking trade. Whether it achieved this goal is debatable. But it has certainly stuffed up the lives of sex workers all over the world. These kinds of laws are like pissing in a wetsuit – feels good at the time, but do bugger-all to help the situation. SESTA/FOSTA hasn’t stopped sex trafficking, it has, however, destroyed the livelihood of sex workers and made their jobs a lot more dangerous in the process. One has to wonder in the first place, if this was the covert goal of the perennially puritanical American establishment. You can read…

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gun-toting nuts get married with assault rifles

JUST a few weeks after Nikolas Cruz gunned down 17 fellow students at a high school in Parkland, Florida, a strange cult-like organisation held a bizarre marriage ceremony celebrating the AR-15, the same deadly weapon used in the attack. More than 300 couples descended on Newfoundland, Pennslyvania to marry or renew their vows – and pay homage to the AR-15, which they believe is God’s sacred “rod of iron” on Earth. The phrase, “Only in America” comes to mind. Images of the ceremony published by UK news outlet Sun Online, depict couples packed into a small chapel with assault rifles in hand and bullet-crowns adorning their heads. The Church’s leader, Pastor Hyung Jin Sean Moon, along with his family, walked in a procession, holding golden AR-15s, declaring that the congregation had a “God-given…

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we do not have lift off: flatearther’s rocket fails to launch

MIKE HUGHES, a professional daredevil and avowed flat-Earther, has failed an attempt to launch his rocket into outer space. The aim of this aeronautical endeavour was to prove the Earth is a giant disc, surrounded by glacial mountains, not the globe shape we have all come to know and love. Hughes’ mission began last year and already he’s faced considerable difficulties, failing three times to launch his homemade rockets into the atmosphere. A person who must be high all the time finds it difficult to get into the sky. Isn’t that beautiful? The recent launch was intended as a publicity stunt to help raise a further $2 million dollars for his final voyage later this year, when he plans to take a hot-air balloon into the upper atmosphere and use a rocket…

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farmer uses pornstar to protect crops

A FARMER from rural India has erected a large poster of Indian-American pornstar-cum-Bollywood actor Sunny Leone to keep his bumper crop of cauliflower safe. A Chenchu Reddy of Banda Kindi Palle village is worried that the wandering “evil eye” of covetous villagers might lead them to steal his crops. Usually, local farmers prevent such malicious activity with a scarecrow or a small, ugly doll called a “Bommalu”, which is believed to ward off thieving bastards. While a little unorthodox, Reddy’s approach appears to be working just fine. Written in the local language, Telugu, across the poster is: “Orey, nannu chusi edavakura,” which means, “Hey, don’t cry or feel jealous of me”. The 45-year-old admits that he doesn’t really care for Leone, but she’s getting the job done. “The trick has worked,” he said,…

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trump cock-blocking his supporters

WE’VE all run into dating issues at some point in our lives. Not everyone you meet is ‘the one’, and all too often they end up ‘the one you’d prefer to be furthest from at the bar’. Traditional dating (the type that’s done in dingy bars and clubs, not on phones) relies on what the DJ plays, the number of tequila shots served and whether or not certain ‘substances’ (which we do not in any way condone the use of) are available. It can lead to some unfortunate encounters. For instance – in your alcohol-induced haze, it may not occur to you that those blurry figures on your newly-found lover’s shelf are miniature My Little Pony toys, and the large poster on their wall depicts two cartoon horses in what looks…

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man doesn’t poo for 37 days straight

A 24-YEAR-OLD man living in England has achieved what must be a world record by holding his poop for 37 days. This improbable feat of human endurance wasn’t spurred on by a desire to go down in history as the most constipated person to ever waddle the Earth. No, it’s a result of the young man allegedly swallowing a number of drugs during a chase in an effort to conceal them from police. Once the young Brit, known at this stage as Jamarr Chambers, was arrested and brought into custody, two officers monitored him around the clock to ensure that when he did pass his little bundle of joy, there would be no way to avoid the full penalty of the law. But Chambers wouldn’t budge. He refused to ‘release the Krappen’. The local…

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