Table of contents for DEC 16 in Esquire UK

David Thomson The film critic and commentator transcends the hyperbole of a Hollywood divorce to assess the careers of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. “Beneath the noise and stupidity of incessant internet ‘Brangelina’ exploitation, I find them odd and interesting talents,” he says. “And I feel sure that they are both going on to big things.” The contributing editor’s latest book, How to Watch a Movie, is available now. Miranda Collinge “Being nice shouldn’t be confused with being bland,” says Esquire’s features editor, who had the pleasure of meeting Oscar-winning actor Eddie Redmayne for this month’s cover interview. “And actually, in his company, niceness becomes something of an art form.” Read the full report on page 170, along with Collinge’s monthly dose of Culture high points commencing on page 115.…

IN ADOLESCENCE, WE’RE TORMENTED BY THE INADEQUACIES of our burgeoning bodies: we’re too short or too tall, too fat or too thin; our penises are shamingly teensy, or, in exceptional cases, rather on the large side. We agonise over our complexion, our hair, the very shape of our earlobes (if, that is, we have them at all). Indeed, I’ve often thought to myself, in my capacity as a writer of fictions, that the best way to get inside my female characters’ minds is to imagine myself an adolescent boy once more, because for most men the agonised self-consciousness of appearance which haunts our teens fades with age, as we become able to confront the harsh truth: we will never be truly beautiful. By contrast, almost all women persist with the…

01 Glen Grant 18 Years Rare Edition (43 per cent ABV) — Glen Grant this year released its first 18-year-old whisky. Matured exclusively in oak former-bourbon barrels, it’s light, floral and very buttery. £110, thewhisky exchange.com 02 Lagavulin Eight-Year-Old (48 per cent ABV) — To celebrate its 200th birthday, Lagavulin has released this eightyear-old batch. It has a perfectly smoky punch of peat typical of Islay malts in a calmer and decidedly classy style. £53, malts.com 03 Glenfiddich IPA Experiment (43 per cent ABV, NAS) — Who’d have thought it — a single malt matured in India Pale Ale barrels? But don’t fear, the tangy hops merely add a jot of zest to the alluringly gentle Speyside flavour. £45, tesco.com 04 The Dalmore Quintessence (45 per cent ABV, NAS) —…

Gyan Interpreting the blue sapphire, Cavallier has married woody Indonesian patchouli with jasmine sambac — creating an “absolutely gigantic olfactory dimension”. £215/100ml Garanat Inspired by the bright red almandine garnet, Garanat has rose at its base but is kept masculine with the depth and spice of pure smoked incense. £215/100ml Onekh The malacenis oud used in Onekh is leathery and spicy, but sweetness is maintained through the use of saffron and honey. £215 /100ml Bulgari is known best for its fine Italian jewellery and watches, so it’s no surprise the house’s new range of men’s fragrances takes inspiration from precious rocks. Created by master perfumer Jacques Cavallier, each of the fragrances in the Le Gemme collection is based on a different stone. Onekh, for example, is inspired by the black…

01 Zenith x Range Rover Watch celebrates icons’ anniversaries Luxury watches and cars have a natural connection: both require complex engineering, and leading brands from both industries have picked up on this affinity. Hublot has produced timepieces with Ferrari, Breitling with Bentley, and Bremont with Jaguar. The most recent collaboration is Swiss marque Zenith and Britain’s Range Rover, with the El Primero Range Rover Special Edition the first fruit of the deal. The chronograph features a super-light ceramised aluminium case, a sleek slate grey dial and driving glove-style perforated calfskin strap. The watch is the brainchild of Zenith CEO Jean-Claude Biver and the design director of Land Rover, Gerry McGovern. “I thought he was an impressive guy,” Biver says of McGovern. “I thought he’d achieved something extraordinary. I believe the…

When Gary Beals sang “A Whole New World” in front of a panel of experts in the first series of Canadian Idol, he probably didn’t expect to finish as the show’s runner-up. Even less, presumably, did he imagine he would find himself doing guest vocals on the second album of decidedly trendy alt-pop act DIANA, but so it has come to pass. It has been three years since the Canadian synth-pop trio first made waves with their critically acclaimed LP Perpetual Surrender, and much to our delight, they’re back and sounding better than ever. Their second album, Familiar Touch, transcends boxy genre-constraints with a shimmering blend of Eighties style alt-pop and soul, and features songs that wouldn’t be out of place on a John Hughes soundtrack, with frontwoman…

Wearable tech has come a long way in a short space of time. It wasn’t that long ago that an analogue step counter represented the cutting edge of fitness equipment. Now, clocking up your steps is just the tip of the iceberg, as TomTom Sports deftly demonstrates. The brand’s range of wearable tech is seriously impressive. You can keep tabs on your heart rate, body fat and muscle composition; store music or plan routes with GPS. You can even receive phone notifications. But best of all, TomTom Sports offers wearable tech for specific activities as well as one — the Touch — for general fitness. Which means there’s a device that’s just perfect for you, whatever your level of fitness or chosen discipline.…

In his new movie, Bleed for This, Miles Teller plays the Italian-American boxer Vincenzo Pazienza, better known as Vinny Paz, who suffered a horrific spinal injury in a car crash in 1991 after which he wasn’t certain to walk again, let alone fight. He did both. But, as you’ll see below, this isn’t the first time in his career that Teller has plotted a collision course (and in a strange case of life preceding art, Teller himself was involved in a near-fatal car accident when he was 20, which gave him his distinctive scars on his face). The advice to his co-stars: buckle up. RABBIT HOLE (2010) In this emotional drama, we see Teller as Jason, a teenage driver who runs over and kills Becca (Nicole Kidman) and Howie Corbett’s…

Social commentary: Knausgaard and Ekelund’s brilliant new book is much more than mere football punditry As writing gigs go, this one was pretty sweet. Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgaard and his friend, Swedish author Fredrik Ekelund, decided to watch the whole of the 2014 Fifa World Cup — Knausgaard on the sofa at home in Sweden, Ekelund in bars and stadia while visiting Brazil — and write each other emails (though they’re described, a little pompously, as letters) expounding their thoughts along the way. These “letters” then became a book. The next question is: why the hell would anyone want to read it? If you’re a Knausgaard fan — and, with international book sales of his autobiographical novel series My Struggle now in the multiple millions, there are many —…

El Chapo Guzmán had worked and killed his way up to the big leagues by the time he first went to prison in 1993. He ran his business from his suite inside Puente Grande federal prison The phone rang. It was July 2014, and I was in a motel room in Tucumcari, New Mexico, about to step into the shower. My wife and I were two days into a cross-country drive from our home in California, and I wanted to clean up before we went to a sports bar across the parking lot to grab something to eat. Looking at the phone, I recognised the number and felt my heart drop. The woman was a close friend. Her 23-year-old son had struggled with heroin addiction for several years. I knew…

WHEN PEOPLE MEET DAVID OYELOWO, they are often surprised at how slim he is; Oyelowo’s most high-profile big screen role to date was as Dr Martin Luther King Jr in Selma (2014). “Certainly in the States, I constantly get, ‘wow, you dropped some weight’ as if I look like Dr King all the time,” says the actor. The compliment is twofold: acknowledging the 40-yearold’s current gym-fit form and reflecting the impact he made as Dr King. Despite that towering performance, he was controversially snubbed at the 2015 Oscars (director Ava DuVernay didn’t get a nod either). “That film really taught me something about perspective,” Oyelowo says. “The perspective that Ava had [meant] I saw the female characters become more three-dimensional. I saw Dr King become not just a political figure…

A Alfred Dunhill +44 20 7853 4440 dunhill.com Arnold & Son arnoldandson.com Aspinal of London +44 845 052 6900 aspinaloflondon.com Audemars Piguet +44 20 7659 7300 audemarspiguet.com B Ball ballwatch.com Bell & Ross bellross.com Berluti +44 20 7730 1740 Braun uk.braun.com Breguet +44 845 273 2400 breguet.com Breitling +44 20 7499 8596 breitling.com Bremont bremont.com Brunello Cucinelli +44 20 7287 4347 brunellocucinelli.com Bulgari bulgari.com Bulova bulova.com Buly available at mrporter.com Bumble & Bumble bumbleandbumble.co.uk Burberry +44 20 7980 8425 burberry.com Byredo byredo.co.uk C Canali canali.com Caran d’Ache carandache.com Cartier +44 20 7408 5700 cartier.co.uk Chaumet chaumet.com Christian Louboutin christianlouboutin.com Christopher Ward +44 1628 763 040 christopherward.co.uk Church’s church-footwear.com Clarks clarks.co.uk Club Monaco clubmonaco.com Coach uk.coach.com Converse available at office.co.uk Craig Green available at selfridges.com D Dolce & Gabbana +44 20 7659 9000 dolceandgabbana.com E Emporio Armani armani.com F Fellow Barber available at mrporter.com Festina festina.com Fushi fushi.co.uk G Giorgio Armani…

IT WAS A MISERABLE MONDAY evening in October and I’d just been caught in a violent downpour, the inevitable conclusion to a day spent under the weather. Since breakfast I’d been tired, hungover and heavy with cold. Now I was wet through and pissed off; Eeyore in a sodden business suit and soggy socks. Standing alone on Dean Street, in Soho, sheltering from the deluge under the sagging awning of a cheerless pub, I couldn’t imagine that anything in particular would perk me up. But I knew one thing that wouldn’t. As luck would have it, this was exactly the thing I was about to do, which was to plonk my sorry, soaking, bad-tempered self down in a subterranean screening room and sit through a high-spirited Hollywood musical. It doesn’t…

Invented by the Caribou Inuit, issued to American troops in the Korean War, made famous and fashionable by scooterriding Sixties mods and reappropriated by Nineties Britpop luminaries, the parka has a lengthy history of keeping people warm — and making them look cool. This season, the length has been kept to a minimum, as designers crop off the famous fishtail and incorporate features from other outerwear staples — the bomber, the puffa — for a fresh take on a men’s style classic. Call this new hybrid parka whatever you like, just don’t call it an anorak.…

Go ahead, tell yourself you’re a changed man. This party season you will be the embodiment of restraint, the guest of virtue true and the designated driver. But we know it’s a sham, and plenty will be drunk. So, best consult our guide to pretoxing and detoxing: Pretox THE MIND Plan ahead Be clever the night before. Lay out your clothes, pre-prepare a morning smoothie, and book in a “breakfast meeting” to give you an extra hour in bed. THE BODY Asparagus, avocado and chicken sandwich Real superfood: asparagus breaks down alcohol, avocado coats the stomach wall with (good) fat, and chicken fills the stomach to soak up excess booze. THE HAIR Texture paste by Fellow Barber A very impressive, medium hold, matte finish styling product. Happily, it’s water soluble…

Montblanc’s Augmented Paper integrates traditional writing into the digital workflow by transferring notes and sketches onto your mobile device. Consisting of a modified pen and an Italian leather notebook, it’s a luxurious way to streamline your workplace. Add in the other tech here and you are one step closer to the fabled “paperless office”. 1. XPS 13 by Dell Ultra-thin laptop with Windows 10 Pro, the latest Intel processor and a full HD, virtually borderless display. £900, dell.com 2. P9 Plus by Huawei Android phone that packs a 5.5in screen, fingerprint scanner and two Leica cameras. £605 (price varies with contract), huawei.com 3. Brass table lamp by David Chipperfield There are no visible joints in this minimalist light, constructed from distinctive brass. £415, scp.co.uk 4. CanoScan LiDE 220 by Canon…

Seventeen years ago, when I was working at The Sunday Times, I got a call from an agency representing David Beckham. Would it be possible, they asked, to photograph and interview the midfielder and put him on the cover of Style magazine? Sure, we said, without hesitation. This wasn’t long after the incident during the 1998 World Cup when Beckham was sent off for intentionally tripping Argentina’s Diego Simeone. The agents were now busily orchestrating a public relations campaign as well as repositioning the footballer’s style credentials. Another men’s magazine had promised to put him on the cover and then, at the last minute, decided to only give him a single page inside — so we needed to publish our feature before theirs. On the evening of the shoot, Beckham…

Great Wall Marathon Tianjin Province, China, 20 May 2017 The challenge: First held In 1999, this marathon’s ever-growing popularity has led to more than 2,500 runners competing from 60 differend countries. The distance is the same as any other marathon, but you have to tackle 5,164 steps and some steep elevations along the route. Just be sure not to hit the wall. great-wall-marathon.com The training: As well as building base mileage through long-distance running, you need to factor in the steps. Anywhere with a flight of stairs will do for this part of the prep. The kit: when it comes to running, suitable socks are just as important as suitable shoes. Stay blister-free with a pair of Nike Dri-Fits. £12, lifestylesports.com Norfolk Superhero Burnham, England, 17 June 2017 The challenge:…

What do you get when you unite Anglo-Dutch design duo Wouter Baartmans and Amber Siegel with a pillar of British retail in Marks & Spencer? A 12-piece collection of menswear staples designed to throw British design talent into sharp focus this autumn. Drawing upon futuristic architecture as their inspiration, the duo’s design aesthetic — creating high-quality, investment pieces with a modern edge — has been translated into more accessibly priced clothing for men with a keen eye on the latest trends. “We believe in delivering quality to our customers,” Siegel explains. “By connecting with the Marks & Spencer design team, we were able to create something that was true to our initial vision — without compromising on fabrication and silhouette.” And the key pieces? “The textured knits and the casual…

Giant leap: with help from Keith Stanfield, left, and Brian Tyree Henry, right, Atlanta creator Donald Glover, centre, finally soars Lena Dunham’s paradigm-shifting TV series, Girls, is about privileged young white women in New York. Donald Glover’s new series, Atlanta, is about underprivileged young black men in the city of the same name. And yet, youth aside, the two shows share a certain something. Both are made up of episodes that make you realise how much can be achieved on TV in 30 minutes. Both display a deft combination of comedy, drama and creative risk. And both come from writer-performers who were unable to find an existing niche to fit into, so went ahead and made their own. Donald Glover has been a writer on Tina Fey’s 30 Rock, a…

Jarett Kobek has guts. This is the writer who first came to attention with a book called Atta: & the Whitman of Tikrit, which was a fictionalised biography of 9/11 mastermind Mohamed Atta that suggested the destruction of the Twin Towers was an act of architectural criticism. His new book is called I Hate the Internet, and you win exactly no prizes for guessing its topic, or rather, its target. Written in skittering paragraphs that jump from subject to subject as though mimicking the attention deficit disorder from which all screen-saturated societies now suffer, it tells the story of a San Francisco comic-book writer called Adeline who finds herself on the wrong end of the internet’s wrath. But, in a tone of sardonic indifference, it also touches on Silicon Valley…

The continued existence of Peter Doherty, both as a musician and as a human being, is something of surprise to many, perhaps including himself. But having weathered the fervent adoration inspired by The Libertines and the media infamy inspired by his personal life, Doherty, now in his late thirties, finds himself in a slight noman’s-land, not the voice of misspent youth he once was, nor yet a grizzled veteran. But that’s not to say he has no place, just that it’s harder to pinpoint. His second solo album, Hamburg Demonstrations, recorded in that same German city over six months, has Doherty applying his appealingly tuneless, loose-dentured yowling to socio-political angst (one track is about the Bataclan attacks) and Anglo-centric intellectualising (“Kolly Kibber” is inspired by a character in Graham Greene’s…

After 20 years of working together, Jason and Joel were all set to knock the comedy writing on the head when they came up with the idea. Thanks to the “Ladybird books for grown-ups” they are now the best-selling adult authors in Britain, and people keep calling them a publishing phenomenon. “What a terrible, terrible indictment of just about everything,” sniffs Joel FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR, it’s a near certainty you’ll receive a book written by JA Hazeley and JP Morris. Their names will not appear anywhere on the cover, but the satisfyingly stiff tactility and faintly arboreal whiff of the Ladybird imprint will be unmistakable: they have been made the same way since World War Two, when rationing required that they be made from one folded sheet of 40in…

THE LAWS OF journalism maths dictate that young + beautiful + French = ingénue. Léa Seydoux, the 31-year-old Parisian actress, has been called one in print at least 34,000 times. However, a rainy afternoon with her in a café on the edge of the Parc de Buttes-Chaumont demonstrates that she is no innocent. Seydoux is as unsophisticated as a diplomat, as guileless as a wolf. She is the kind of person who, tiring of her fear of flying, marches herself up to the ticket counter and buys a ticket for the shortest flight leaving that day. (She ended up in Lyon.) “When I was young, I was so scared about death,” she says. “It was like I was in a kind of depression. I didn’t know if life was worth…

CAN WE AGREE TO DO THIS without recrimination or mockery? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had been together (more or less) for 11 years in a situation where it’s hard enough to be married, next to impossible for two talented actors to exist as if they don’t have to be the centre of attention, and hideous if the vulture internet insists you are the most famous celebrity couple in the world — and then waits to break you up. So, the poor wretches can rest now; and surely they deserve it. But we deserve some peace, too. They have been living ghosts for a couple of years — how could they still be excited at being together? How could they put their legendary heads together on a pillow and not…

In the past seven decades, French outerwear brand Moncler has affirmed its position as a world leader in super-high quality, down-filled mountain jackets, overcoats, parkas and — if this season’s Moncler Gamme Bleu by Thom Browne show is anything to go by — acid camouflage all-body suits. This Breval indigo denim-wool-jersey bomber from the Moncler main line is our pick for the coming cold spell. Whether dressed up over a midnight blue two-piece suit, or down with bleached-out jeans and a cream wool roll-neck, it will see you through this winter (and the next several to follow) in rugged style. No 65 £925 moncler.com…

Dear Sir, You find the missive in front of you is from Florence Nightingale. The very author whose reticent hand passed that sentence. For it is I. I am Miss Nightingale, christened Florence because I was born there. Did you ever hear a more mellifluous name? The nightingale: exemplary singer of celestial exuberance, the sound of peaceful, beautiful, devout woods. And Florence: the exciting city of Renaissance rebirth, the pinnacle of human culture, the reticule of unsurpassed beauty and civilisation. These were the labels attached to my birth. They are the highest and fairest wishes for a Christian child. Fuck, spunk, tits out, wanker, cunt-face. Where do you imagine I am, writing this letter now? The smell is appalling — the corruption of rotting wounds, the effluvia from a chronic…

01 Patent leather If you wear a tux, you need a good pair of patent leather dress shoes — and that’s a fact. Though a high-shine black leather upper is essential, the shoe itself can take many forms. Case in point: Giuseppe Zanotti’s tasselled loafers. Purists might fidget, but they are perfectly suitable for a tuxedo dress code, providing said tuxedo is similarly unorthodox. These loafers can be found at Zanotti’s new London flagship shop on Conduit Street, alongside the Italian brand’s accessories and ready-towear clothing. 02 Chunky derbys It’s the trend that doesn’t fade, which is fine by us, because a chunky derby shoe is a man’s best friend. They can be worn with a suit — make sure the trousers are slim and slightly cropped, and the jacket…

JASON ATHERTON Chef, restaurateur “The Time Pyramid by Arnold & Son is a unique watch design, based on the old English carriage clocks, that has me fascinated by its simplicity and beauty. Sébastien Chaulmontet’s creation is simply genius and this watch will soon become a collectors’ classic.” JOE MILLS Founder, Joe & Co barbershop “My first real standout timepiece was a Breitling Superocean. It was a gift for my 30th birthday, and I still wear this as my everyday watch. I also have a 1960 Omega dress watch, a Hamilton Pilot and a 1975 Rolex Air-King, and I’ve recently been introduced to Precista.” JEREMY HACKETT Fashion designer “A 1963 Rolex Explorer.” CHRIS PINE Actor “Rolex Submariner.” PETER YORK Writer, cultural commentator “I have a Hamilton, a [Cartier] Ballon Bleu and…

Let’s play the word association game. If I say “Tallinn”, what pops into your head? If it’s “where?” then you need to swot up on your Baltic basics, young man. If it’s “stag weekend”, then gold stars to you, sir. You see, Estonia’s capital has long had a reputation as a prime haunt for stag parties, including — I’ll freely admit — my own. That was more years ago than I care to remember (or can remember full stop, me being the stag and all), so I thought it was time to revisit the Old Town, northern Europe’s most perfectly preserved medieval city. I’m glad I did... I barely recognised a building. Tom Barber is a founder of the award-winning travel company originaltravel.co.uk See The Kiek in de Kök sounds…

A glance through the list of previous employers of Stuart Vevers, the softly spoken but loudly acclaimed British creative director of American luxury brand Coach, is a bit like flicking through the front bank of ads in a magazine like this one. Since starting out in 1996, he has worked for Calvin Klein, Bottega Veneta, Givenchy, Louis Vuitton, Mulberry and Loewe. (He has lived and worked in London, New York, Milan, Paris and Madrid: no wonder he needs so many bags.) It was with Mulberry that his name began to be known outside fashion circles. He was instrumental in the transformation of that label’s fortunes in the mid-Noughties, when it was making the It-bags of the moment. Vevers’ tenure at Loewe was equally fruitful and admired, so it was no…

ESQUIRE RECOMMENDS Red/black canvas-leather backpack, £1,335, by Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci, givenchy.com Right now, menswear designers are leaping on clothes designed to work as hard as they look good; Prada’s autumn/winter 2016 show featured peacoats finished with durable denim elbow patches and carabiner-style security keychains, while at Louis Vuitton, Kim Jones sent out an army of bovver boot-shod models. One item you should definitely be investing in this season, however, is a new, upgraded backpack. The best place to go is Givenchy, where creative director Riccardo Tisci has pulled out all the stops, producing countless styles from fringecoated pieces to fur-covered versions and even packs printed with images of Jesus Christ. Shown above is our favourite item from the AW ’16 collection, as functional as it is stylish. Got your…

When it comes to footwear, the return of winter means only one thing — boots. Whether you opt for a pair of this season’s key commando-sole styles or you’re more a work boot man, the rules remain the same: good boots should keep your feet dry, your uppers out of puddles and be chunky enough to see you through many winters. Synonymous with British quality, 191-year-old shoe manufacturer Clarks has unveiled an unsurprisingly wellmade collection of boots for autumn/winter 2016. The tobacco leather Korik Rise GTX, for instance, features a waterproof and breathable Gore-Tex membrane, while the Sawtel Hi boasts contrasting canvas panels and a gaitmapping footbed for extra cushioning — good for both wet weather and more serious city pursuits. Teamed with a pair of classic denim jeans or…

Fitting your exercise regime into a busy schedule is easy in the summer — the days are long, the nights are warm and the sun gives you a regular boost of serotonin. Come winter, and as motivation drops and the party season picks up, that morning run or evening gym session can seem a whole lot tougher. How to stay focused? Esquire’s personal trainer Harry Jameson has five tips that should do the trick, with a little help from the TomTom Touch. 1. Stay goal orientated A lack of progression is one of the main reasons people give up on their fitness regime. You should be challenging yourself to go outside your comfort zone. Book a 10k run, a marathon or an adventure race — the TomTom Touch keeps detailed…

Capitol gold: the lustrous history of the label head-quartered in Hollywood (below) is celebrated in Taschen’s new coffee-table book Bands have fans but do record labels? Independents do, of course. An indie or dance fan might sign up to pretty much anything Sub Pop or XL puts out. Major labels, not so much. They tend to put hits before cultural legacy. Capitol Records, founded in 1942 and today part of the Universal Music Group, is one major with cultural clout. For a start it had The Beatles. Then there’s the Capitol Records Building, the 13-story cylindrical tower blinking out “H-O-L-L-Y-W-O-O-D” in Morse code since the Fifties. Add in a roster that includes Frank Sinatra, Miles Davis, Wanda Jackson, The Beach Boys, Kraftwerk, Pink Floyd, Beastie Boys and Radiohead and you…

Great apes: gorilla, chimpanzee, mandrill macaque and drill (main image) are among the still life simians in Monkey Business There aren’t a lot of jungles in Edinburgh of the non-concrete variety, but this month the city will be sprouting its very own when a new exhibition, Monkey Business, opens at the National Museum of Scotland. And who’s going to fill that jungle? Why, monkeys of course. And apes, lemurs, and lorises, in a comprehensive exhibition about primate life and behaviour that will no doubt remind us just how far we haven’t come, evolutionarily speaking. More than 50 taxidermy specimens will be on display, specially stuffed for this show in postures that seek to capture their real-life conduct. This means you can see a gibbon swinging through the trees and a…

A common problem with authors who wrote well about alcohol — F Scott Fitzgerald, say, or Charles Bukowski — is that often they were alcoholics, with all the misery that entails. PG Wodehouse, though, flies breezily free of such gloom. One of the great tonics of his famous comic writing is its sense that happiness may be reliably found through “the “life-restoring fluid” contained in “the magic bottle”. I have edited a new compendium of all the best moments in Wodehouse that involve getting outside a stiff drink; and here are three of my favourites: Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe (in Pigs Have Wings) suffers romantic rejection yet is consoled by a tankard of beer that appears before him in the manner of an old pal: “A woman is only a woman,…

I’m good with actors because I used to be one — not a very good one. I was in a lot of television commercials, if you can call that acting’ I’M TIRED OF BEING ME and I’m ready to give more time to another person. That’s why I’m so happy now to be a father to Jack, who just turned four. It’s absolutely the right time in my life. I couldn’t have had a son when I was 40 — I was probably too drunk, for one thing. I’M A TERRIBLE TENNIS PLAYER but I play three times a week, if I can. I’m too competitive to play against friends, so I play the pro. I AM VERY SPIRITUAL. I was brought up Presbyterian, went to a Jesuit school —…

‘Ricky Gervais is my real name. Why would I invent a name like that? First name of a puppy, second name of a French fop. I’d call myself Hank Bangley’ A MANUAL IS TO BE PUT IN THE BOTTOM DRAWER never to be opened. If I can’t work something out then I don’t want it. DON’T VIEW SUCCESS AS ANYTHING other than happiness. If you’re happy then nothing else matters. I GREW UP LOVING EVERY CREATURE. If I saw a toad in my garden, it was a privilege that I’d bumped into this amazing wild animal. We all have the same amount of rights to be on this planet and we’re all just trying to survive. INDIE-FOLK HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY THING. Real songs. You can have all the amazing,…

Look 1 Black/white Prince of Wales check wool coat, £275, by Pretty Green Charcoal wool-cotton blazer, £230, by Woolrich Grey/black striped wool crew-neck sweater, £340, by Paul & Shark Black denim jeans, £55, by Lands’ End Black leather lace-upzipper boots, £160, by Timberland Black ribbed suede gloves, £25, by Marks & Spencer Stainless steel Curv chronograph on black rubber strap, £650, by Bulova Look 2 Tan water-resistant mountain parka with faux fur collar, £200, by Penfield Charcoal merino-wool sweater, £175, by John Smedley White cotton T-shirt, £18, by Topman Indigo-wash denim jeans, £85, by Jaeger Tobacco leather boots, £110, by Clarks Brown leather sheepskinlined gloves, £135, by Aspinal of London Stainless steel Sistem51 Irony Earth watch on brown leather strap, £127, by Swatch Esquire THE BIG BLOCK BOOK THE STYLE…