Table of contents for 11/6/2019 in Move!

WHEN your child is growing up, you never know what their future holds. Which is why it’s vital to let them explore many sporting options before they settle on one. For example, Iplayed netball for one day in primary school. I fell so hard and was so bad at it that it wasn’t even an option for the future. But when I wanted to try out, no one said no. Netball player Bongi Msomi might not have been where she is today if someone hadn’t taken a chance on her. If her conservative parents had put their foot down, she might have never found out that she’s a star netball player. If she’d said no when she was picked to play for her high school team, today she wouldn’t be…

THE DIGITAL ADVANTAGE Meetings are an important part of the smooth running of the society, however meeting attendance becomes a challenge and absenteeism is high. Absalom saw the importance of taking advantage of technology by allowing members to use platforms like WhatsApp to conduct meetings and address important issues. “I realized that we had to move with the times,” he says. “Now we allow our members to join a meeting wherever they are.” Member premiums are also paid via debit order as the society runs strictly on a no-cash basis. “This decision was made to address the safety concerns with having members carrying large amounts of cash. By doing payments electronically via debit order, the society eliminated a lot of missed payments that resulted in lapsed policies. “At first, some…

THE Ingoma Awards celebrated its sixth anniversary at Mogale City Centenary Hall in Krugersdorp, with Millicent Mashile and Lesley Musina as hosts. Guests were glammed up in evening dresses and tailored suits to honour 2019’s class of extraordinary artists. Festivities kicked off with red-carpet moments featuring Peter Mabula, who was nominated for eight awards; Duduzile Magudulela; and Lucas Morake among others. Among the nominees were Curt Hardy for best gospel single, Naomi Wesi for best worship album and Justice Sunduza for best live DVD recording. Congratulations to all the winners.…

BEING able to give back is a dream come true for teacher, motivational speaker and radio presenter Thandiwe “MaSoft” Sofute. Born in Mdantsane, East London, she started a movement called Sakha Isizwe Sangomso (“We are building tomorrow’s world”) in 2016. The name and concept comes from a dream she had about 20 years ago. “The movement is about the bond between a mother and a daughter,” she says. “We are trying to teach young girls to make informed decisions and to trust their parents more than their peers.” Thandiwe says they aim to raise an informed generation that knows the consequences of sexual intercourse without protection and to encourage young women to speak their minds. STRAIGHT TALK She believes it is imperative that parents don’t beat around the bush when…

SON & DAUGHTER Mrs Dlamini meets Mrs Mfanya for tea. “How’s your son?”Mrs Dlamini asks. “Oh, how he suffers,”Mrs Mfanya replies.“His wife doesn’t do any work around the house. She won’t cook him a decent meal. She can’t sew. All she does is laze in bed all day watching television and eating chocolates.” “How awful,”Mrs Dlamini says. “And how is your daughter?”Mrs Mfanya asks. “She’s doing wonderfully,”Mrs Dlamini replies. “She married this wonderful man. He won’t let her go in the kitchen. He does all the mending himself and insists that she relax in bed all day.” UNFAIR ADVANTAGE Little Sipho comes home from the playground with a bloody nose, a black eye and torn clothing. It is obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost. While his father…

‘MY PENSION FUND WAS SUPPOSE TO BE R99 000 BUT I ONLY GOT R8100’ Q INVESTIGATION’S IMPACT ON DIVORCE I filed for divorce a month ago. I’m married in community of property. Now my husband is under investigation by his employer for crimes he allegedly committed. What will happen if he gets arrested? Will I still be entitled to his assets? And what about child maintenance money for our children? ANONYMOUS, SMS A If your husband is found guilty by a court of law, the court will likely order that the assets be attached. This is because you and him have one joint estate. If the assets are not attached, it means your husband will retain his 50% and you retain your 50%. If they are attached, you both lose…

SCORPIO (23 OCT – 21 NOV) Venus currently resides in your financial horoscope, bringing good tidings for your cash flow. You’re a magnet for sound investments and lucrative business deals. However, it’s still a week to take care and to read the fine print. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 6, 51, 15, 42, 4, 26 SAGITTARIUS (22 NOV – 20 DEC) It’s a week to get out of the rat race, difficult as it might be for a restless and energetic Sagittarius. You may want to spend time in contemplation, embark on a spiritual journey or take up meditation and yoga, two practices with the added benefit of teaching discipline. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 49, 33, 24, 50, 1, 12 CAPRICORN (21 DEC – 20 JAN) As a Capricorn, climbing the ladder of…

‘HOW DO I REVEAL MY SEXUAL FANTASIES TO MY PARTNER?’ REVEALING MY SEXUAL FANTASIES Q How do I reveal my sexual fantasies to my partner? Every timeItrytodiscussit, I become tooshy. ANONYMOUS,SMS Before you bring up your personal fantasies, talk about fantasies in general and how you think they can positively enhance your relationship. Perhaps you could ask him whether he has any sexual fantasies. You can then both write them down, share them with each other before taking it to the bedroom. Start by practicing those that you feel don’t need a lot of preparation and grow from there. Be creative and remind yourself that this is about you and that you’re taking charge of your sexual journey alongside your partner. Enjoy! MY BULGING BELLY IS PUTTING MY HUSBAND OFF…

IF THERE is anything to be done in the world of technology, Mushambi Mutuma is the go-to man. Small business owners, stores and large corporates approach his business to get assistance with anything to do with the digital space – from managing social media to creating apps from scratch. Mushambi (34) started his company, Altivex Creative Foundry, 10 years ago. “We do research and develop digital strategies that drive brand love for start-ups as well as big companies,” he says. Mushambi says he was always called a “geek” because he loved anything to do with computers, gadgets and technology overall. He then found a way to turn his nickname into a successful career. IN HIS PARENTS’ FOOTSTEPS Born in Zimbabwe, his family later relocated to the US where he lived…

IN my quest to find easier ways to share my faith with people I meet, I found that there are a few basics God wants everyone to know. Whether you believe or not, he wants you to know the following: HE KNOWS YOU God knows you not just by name, but also the number of hairs on your head. He knew you before you were born. There are 7,7 billion people in the world and the God of the universe knows you. We all want to know who we are. Many of us have taken personality tests and assessments but we believe them more than the God who created us. In your journey of “finding yourself”, try looking for the one who knows you and created you, who made you…

FRIENDSHIP OR MORE I’m a 23-year-old woman from Mafikeng. I’m looking for a man aged between 30 and 40 who wants a friendship that might lead to a relationship. If interested, WhatsApp me: 062-001-5981 I’m Ntokozo from Mpumalanga. I’m a lesbian looking for friendship or more. Age doesn’t matter to me. If interested, please call me: 067-078-4106 I’m a 79-year-old Christian man from the Eastern Cape. I am also a widower. I’m looking for a South-Sotho woman. She must be a Christian and be between the ages of 60 and 75 years old and be active. Please call me: 065-908-2814 LOOKING FOR MY FRIEND I’m looking for my friend, Delah Matlou. Ilast saw her in 2007. She is from Mokopane, Limpopo. Anyone who has information on her whereabouts can call…

IN her book, Napjadi Mathlo shares the abuse she suffered when she was a little girl as well as when she was an adult. Here, she tells the story of the first time she was violated and how she wishes that she, as well as many other young women, could have better support to help them when they are hurt. HOW MY MOTHER FAILED ME At the age of 31, I questioned my sanity. I thought my mind was making things up when I remembered being raped by my mother’s boyfriend at the age of six. I remembered my own mother catching this monster in the act and beating me up – instead of protecting me and reporting the crime. I refused to believe even after I spoke to a…

Media personality Minnie Dlamini Jones recently gave singer Kelly Khumalo some much-needed advice about moving on. “Say hi with a smile and keep it moving. Life is too short to hold grudges but also you can’t make the same mistake twice [sic],” she told the singer in response to Kelly tweeting a crying emoji, saying she’d just seen someone she used to know. While she didn’t mention names, fans assumed she was referring to ex-fiancé Chad Da Don. Move! readers have their say. Life is too short. Live your life happily and freely. Grudges just hold back your happiness. ABUTI JEFF MAUTLWA If I break up with you, you are not “my” ex, you are nothing to me. I don’t greet and you do the same. You are extinct from…

TWO’S a company and three’s a crowd, it’s often said. But what happens when two women are in love with the same man and he’s interested in both? One of the saddest love triangles on TV. Isidingo’s Morongwa, Gatanga and Florence’s love story has fans hurt and divided because there’s no one to blame or hate. Both women deserve a good guy, they feel and Gatanga is that man. Mine worker and inyanga, Gatanga fell in love with Florence, a Ghanaian immigrant who found her way to Horizon Deep after fleeing her village in Ghana to look for better opportunities to support her kids back home. Florence is a skirt-and-doek wearing woman of prayer – all the things Morongwa’s not. Morongwa, who Gatanga has loved for years from a distance,…

‘IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS IN MY LIFE’ WHEN he used to watch his older brother rehearse for theatre shows, he had no idea that it would one day be his life. Sphamandla Dhludhlu (27) never imagined that he’d ever be an actor or that he would be part of an Emmy-nominated soapie, The River. It’s been fascinating ride to the small screen, he tells Move!. AN UNEXPECTED START He used to accompany his brother, Mandla Dhludhlu, to the local community hall in his township Thokoza, east of Johannesburg, where he watched him rehearse for weeks for a play called Mistakenly Confused. One day his brother failed to show up and after several attempts to reach him, the director asked Sphamandla if he could take on the role.…

AS A young girl growing up in KwaZulu-Natal she wasn’t allowed to wear pants around her strict dad and taking part in sport was discouraged by her traditional family – a girl’s place was in the home doing chores. But how times have changed. Bongi Msomi (31) is now a celebrated sportswoman and, as captain of the South African national netball team that were crowned the 2019 Africa Netball Cup champions recently, is a national hero. WINNING TEAM The Spar Proteas made it to the finals and defeated Zambia 72-53 to win their sixth consecutive game in the tournament and claim the title in Cape Town. They claimed victory over Lesotho (116-10), Malawi (56-51), Zimbabwe (69-39), Uganda (50-47), Kenya (71-36) and Zambia (72-53). This came just months after they made…

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Q MY EYEBROWS ARE FINE IN TEXTURE, SO IS IT NECESSARY TO TWEEZE OR SHAPE THEM FOR MAKEUP TO LOOK BETTER ON ME? A This depends on your eyebrow shape, and the shape you want when you fill them in and apply makeup. You may find that it is necessary to tweeze or shape your brows if you want to take the arches and outer corners higher. However, if you want to maintain the same natural shape then you don’t have to tweeze them, just fill them in and apply concealer underneath so that they pop.…

“I was diagnosed with HIV in 2012. I took my medication for four years then decided to stop taking ARVs in 2016. In 2019, I went to be tested and the results were HIV-negative. I took another test and it was also negative. Could I actually be HIVnegative? ANONYMOUS DURING your intake of ARVs from 2012 to 2016, you were able to manage it effectively. However, this doesn’t mean it was cured. Chances are it’s dormant (inactive). The danger here is that it’s mutating (changing) since it’s not contained by medication. Soon, it will emerge – only more severe and resistant to ARVs. This will put your life at risk as it won’t respond to normal ARVs. You will need more intensive ARVs, Line 2. And there’s no guarantee that…

Busisiwe Malangwane, a registered counsellor with a degree in psychology and her own practice in Midrand says: “Your friend does not seem to respect your relationship with your partner. She also doesn’t seem to care about your feelings. You have already informed your friend about her flirty behaviour towards your man but she still continues either way. It goes to show just how much she doesn't consider your happiness and feelings. You have mentioned that your friend flirts with many men. I suggest you then ask yourself that, should things not work out with your current man, what would stop her from flirting with the next boyfriend you might meet in future? My advice is that if you still value your friendship with her, then you have to set boundaries…

LAST WEEK, we looked at gluten intolerance and the foods that you can enjoy and what you should avoid if your body doesn’t respond well to gluten. Here, we do the same for sugar and dairy. Sugar (found in so many foods and drinks) should best be avoided if you have type 2 diabetes. Many people are also intolerant to dairy products. We show you what you need to cut out of your diet to live your healthiest life and feel your best! TYPE 2 DIABETES EXPLAINED The carbohydrates we consume through food and liquids are broken down to glucose (the type of sugar your body uses for energy) in the small intestine. From there, the glucose is absorbed into your bloodstream and transported to your body’s cells with the…

TSHEPANG MOKOWE What does she do after you share with her? Some people are good listeners but it stays there. The minute they try to advise is when things can break down. It could be that your husband doesn’t like people getting involved. MMATHOLO GLORIA Telling your mother everything is bad because she might hate him even after you’ve resolved the issue. You’re also giving her aload to carry. I suggest you find professional help or your marriage will collapse. Think about the kids too. NOMTHANDAZO MABENA The problem with telling our parents about our struggles is that they don’t forget easily. You and your husband might move past this phase but your mother will still hold a grudge against him. You don’t have to tell her everything.…

Don’t give out private information, such as your ID number, physical address and banking details to strangers. If you decide to meet, do so in a public place. Also, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts. Don’t assume that the person is who they say they are. It’s easy to pretend or provide false information over the phone or online. DISCLAIMER Move! magazine will not be held responsible/liable for anything that may arise with regard toreaders providing each other with personal information. We advise participants to protect themselves from any criminal intent/activity.…

SHE describes herself as the fulfilment of her ancestors’ wildest dreams. After 10 years of working behind the microphone on Ukhozi FM as a DJ, she’s now making a name for herself on TV. Sthandwa Nzuza (35) has always loved television, she tells Move!. She’s had roles on SABC1’s Uzalo as Innocentia and Mzansi Magic’s eHostela as Friendship. But her career highlight is bagging a lead role in Stained Glass Production’s Ifalakhe, which is big for her, especially how it represents Zulu culture. GETTING STARTED For the 35-year-old, television has always been her first love, which is why she had no qualms about leaving radio to pursue the craft. “Radio was great, and I’ve done it long enough. I studied drama at the Durban University of Technology so I can…

HER life of working 9-to-5, then rushing to evening classes and assignments has taken a backseat. Now as Miss South Africa, Zozibini Tunzi finds it replaced with lavish events, fabulous trips, a new car and brand new apartment in Sandton. “I don’t want to ever live without a car. Before Miss SA, I took taxis everywhere, all my life. I never want to do that again,” she says with a laugh. LIFE IN THE SPOTLIGHT From the moment she opened her eyes on the morning after the annual Miss South Africa pageant, life took a complete turn for Zozi and it’s been a whirlwind since. “There’s a huge diference between my life as Miss SA and before I won. Before, I had a 9-to-5 job in PR, so my days…

WHY DO CHEAP EARRINGS HURT MY EARS, AND HOW CAN I FIX THE PROBLEM? Sometimes the metal used in making costume jewellery (including inexpensive earrings) can trigger skin irritation and a few other health problems. This is because of the mixture of metals used, called alloys. The characteristics of some of these alloys can irritate your skin. However, there’s a fix for all this: petroleum jelly-based products! To ease the irritation, apply a thin layer of the petroleum jelly on to the earring studs and clasps, or wherever there is contact with your skin, and massage your ear lobes with another layer of jelly just before you wear the jewellery. And voila! No more inexpensive jewellery problems, ladies!…

PORK LOIN ROAST SERVES 4 PREPARATION: 5 MIN COOKING: 1 HR RESTING: 12 MIN ■ 1kg pork loin ■ salt and freshly ground black pepper ■ 30ml (2T) vegetable oil ■ 85g unsalted butter ■ 3 cloves garlic, minced ■ 30ml (2T) Worcestershire sauce ■ 5ml (1t) mustard powder ■ 5ml (1t) dried oregano ■ 5ml (1t) dried thyme Preheat oven to 180°C. 1 Pat dry the pork loin. Season with salt and pepper. 2 Heat a large oven-safe pan over medium-high heat. Add the oil and heat for about 1 minute, add the pork and sear it on all sides until a crust forms, about 1 minute per side. Remove from the pan and set aside. 3 Turn off the heat and remove the pan from the stove. In…

THEY are no strangers to making hit series. From Uzalo and eHostela, production house Stained Glass seem to have found their way into viewers hearts. Now they are doing it again with the hit new show, Ifalakhe which hit the screens on Sunday, 6 October 2019. The 13-part series created by Thuli Zuma and Gugu Zuma-Ncube is set in pre-colonial South Africa. It focuses on the battle for leadership. The Okuhle tribe wages a war against the skilled hunters of the Khanya people who have been raiding their cattle and killing their women and children. The Okuhle tribe emerge victorious but there’s a price to pay. A prophecy lingers on the kingdom that threatens the lineage of the king and the rule of his true heir. Ifalakhe is based on…

‘HOW DO I TELL MY KIDS THAT I’VE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER?’ Q IS HE USING ME FOR MY MONEY? I’ve been dating a guy who earns a lot less money than I do. He’s started talking about us getting married. My family doesn’t trust him and have told me they don’t like him. They think he wants to use me for money and stability. Some of them won’t even talk to us when we arrive at family functions. How do I choose between him and my family? ANONYMOUS, SMS A It’s unfortunate that your family has put you in a position where you feel you need to choose. They may have picked up on things that you’re not aware of but all they need to do is bring that…

YOUR kids learn a lot about money by observing your financial habits. If you’re responsible, chances are they will be too. We asked experts for tips on how to teach children about money at different stages of their lives. PRESCHOOLERS ■ Children can be taught about money from as young as the age of four, says Casey Rousseau of 1st for Women. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy to teach little kids the value of money when paying with plastic cards, so let your child hand cash to the cashier at the supermarket – it shows that money is exchanged for goods. It also teaches them that you’re left with less money each time you buy something. ■ Introduce young children to the world of finance by giving them a piggy…

The people canvassed for aWebMD survey revealed the following comments to be the most unhelpful. ■ “It could be worse” – 46% said this comment actually compounded their grief because it came across as being dismissive. ■ Talking in detail about your own experience with loss – 47% said it was ineffective. ■ Recommending that the mourner move on or seek closure – 42% found this annoying and insensitive. ■ Offering unsolicited advice – 33% said it made them feel worse.…

1 Do you have outfits that you only wear on certain occasions? Such as a party dress for nights out on the town or a skirt and shirt combo that you’ve worn to the last few weddings you’ve been to? A Yes. You have a few looks that you keep just for special events. B You have a large selection of outfits that you can wear when going somewhere special. C No. You always buy new clothes for when you get a party or wedding invite. 2 When do you normally wear sneakers or flip flops? A Most of the time. They are your most comfortable footwear. You even wear them to work and when you’re out with friends sometimes. B Only when you are relaxing at home and sure…