The Picture

man’s not a camel!

I’M JEALOUS! (Mega Agency) WHEN you think about it, it kinda makes sense to advertise a brand of trendy bottled water with the most in-your-face CAMEL TOE we’ve ever seen.Camel… water… yeah, well, there’s a connection there SOMEWHERE, so we reckon some advertising exec with a pony tail and a raging coke habit was paid about a zillion bucks to think it up.But where to find the perfect camel toe to illustrate the concept on California’s famous Malibu Beach?Look no further than spunky 25-year-old LA model Jules Liesl, self-proclaimed queen of the side-boob and owner of the finest camel-toe this side of the Arabian Desert.Mm-mm. Makes us thirsty just lookin’ at it. Just not for water, but.Now if only Jules and her ‘toe would make the move to…

alice in wumbaland!

WHAT would you do if you were blessed with a magic pair of double F-cup funbags like these, all for your very own?Y’know, so you could PLAY with them and tweak their little brown NUBBINS whenever you liked?Probably the same as US – never leave the sanctuary of your bedroom, just stay in there and TWEAK and PLAY all day long.Well, that’s SORT OF what Pommy topless model Alice Goodwin does these days.She webcams from her home in London, giving her eager fans great, steaming eyefuls of her nuclear-powered norks, all for a VERY REASONABLE fee. Sure, occasionally she bungs on some trackies and a flanno to go down the shops and buy some CANS and her air-freight copy of THE PICTURE.Now and then she even chucks on a…

wobbly world

MENORCA!This bunch of hot models packed badly for their group holiday to the Spanish island – one T-shirt, one pair of jeans, three pairs of shoes. Oh well. They managed. MARGARET RIVER!Jessica Albanka is a nudie model from Hungary, so she probably doesn’t realise she’s in imminent danger of getting MUNCHED by a shark. Look out, Jessica! BARCELONA!Sexy Latvian Dominika Jule knows how to win a table tennis tourny - want until game point in the final and flash the full box and dice. Game over, man! PRAGUE!Obviously Sofi hasn’t heard about the problems of sitting bare-arsed on a cane chair. No worries, but – there’ll be plenty of volunteers to smooth it out. FRANKFURT!Not having a pool, when it gets hot in Germany, Ediny…

news flash

Look at his eyes, man! POLLY WANTS A FIX WILD parrots in India have turned into RAGING DRUG ADDICTS, raiding poppy plantations to get their fixes of RAW OPIUM. The parrots even know to wait until the farmers – who grow the crops to provide the raw material for medicines such as codeine and morphine – cut the poppy pods to help them ripen, thus revealing the goodies inside. The birds get as high as fucking kites feasting on the seeds, some even breaking off pods and flying away with them, probably to SWAP with their JUNKIE BIRD MATES for stolen iPhones. PLAYING WITH DOLLS OK, WHO’S GUNNA GET ME A BEER? AFTER two divorces, retired pommy nurse…

it takes balls!

IF YOU’RE one of those golfers who has a tendency to chuck a tanty and throw clubs around when your game goes to shit, this definitely isn’t the hole for.This par three at the Legend Golf Resort in South Africa requires you to bash the pill off a tee 400 metres up the side of a mountain onto a green shaped like the continent of Africa waaay down below.In fact it’s so far down and it takes the ball so fucken long to get there, the course employs spotters to keep track of your shot because you’re sure as hell not gunna be able to see where it goes. Especially if you’re PISSED.Just getting to and from the tee requires a helicopter, and there’s always the chance of…

1 st class arse!

WE’VE seen an arse or two in our time here at THE PICTURE, from celebrity backsides to porn star pillows. You might say we know our bums.But without a doubt the derriere of Sydney escort Sienna Jackson is in a class of its own.Strong, yet supple. Firm, yet soft. Ladylike, yet pert and playful.Yep, it’s a cracker alright. No wonder many of those who have had the good fortune to gaze upon it in person have come away firm believers in a Greater Power.“I get all kinds of compliments on it,” its modest 22-year-old owner says.“I often get told my arse and my eyes are my best features. Men are always requesting I ride them backwards – and I love doing it!” Of course, it takes more than a…