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The PictureThe Picture

The Picture Issue 1910

The Picture is an Australian men’s magazine aimed at the average bloke. It’s full of local stories, nude women, puzzles, prizes and jokes.

Bauer Media Pty Ltd
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26 Issues


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world’s longest pub crawl

BRUCE Masters has had a beer in over 50,000 pubs – and before he carks he plans to hit 25,000 more. Bruce, 74, has been on a mission to visit as many pubs as he can since he NAUGHTILY scoffed his first beer in one at the age of 15, and has been acknowledged by the Guinness Book of Records as the most pub-going bloke in Britain. And since he’s feeling FIGHTING FIT he reckons he can kick on another 25 years or so. “I’m planning to be a centenarian so I can’t imagine how many pubs I’ll have visited by then,” he says. At the rate Bruce is going –roughly 20 pubs a week, or around 1000 a year – he should clock up 75,000 before he goes TOES UP. Mostly he just has…

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twice smitten!

WE ARE obliged by law to issue this warning: if you have a weak ticker, are prone to giddy spells or shortness of breath skip the next couple of pages. Because we don’t want to be responsible for you CARKING IT when you see huge-titted Pommy stunners Joey Fisher and Stacey Poole BUMPING BOOBS. It’s so fucken MIND-BOGGLING even we experienced pervs had to wear safety goggles when we were preparing this lay-out. One set of natural double-G cup gazongas – yeah, we can handle that. But two ALMOST IDENTICAL sets, both of which would probably rate in the top 10 racks of all time, slithering over each other? That sort of thing can kill a bloke if he’s not careful. So if you’re uncertain about your ability to experience FOUR of the finest funbags…

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wobbly world

MEXICO CITY! We know it says Umami on the sign, but when Seppo nude model Lizbette Huerta gets her D-cup delights out the correct response really should be: “Oh, mama!” BRNO! Suzanna A is one of the many hot nude models who hail from Kiev, capital of Ukraine. Here she is hanging out in a hammock in the Czech city of Brno, for some reason. LONDON! In 2009 Pommy model Rosie Jones set a Guinness World Record for the most bras put on and taken off in a minute, with seven. But she still can’t play tennis for shit. ITALY! Ukranian nudie model Oxana Chic couldn’t afford the airfare to Italy so she got a friend to bung her in a suitcase and take her as carry-on luggage. Clever! MIAMI! The ex-missus of German tennis legend Boris Becker, former…

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news flash

TWO-FACED COW YOU know the apocalypse is definitely coming when the two-headed calves start popping up. Like this generously be-noggined little bugger, born on a Montana, USA, farm belonging to Heather Herman and her family. “I honestly didn’t want to look at it when I realized what it was,” she said. Well, duh. Creation of fucken Satan, who would? The bi-craniumed cow died soon after, but keep your eyes out for other omens of the end of days, like the price of beer and smokes going up. THUGS BUNNY! THE Easter Bunny went the knuckle on a bloke biffing and spitting on a woman in the street in Orlando, Florida, the other day. The furry hero, aka Antoine McDonald, was dressed up for a night out on the turps with his mates when…

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holly nude

EVER since Hollywood started churning out flicks in the 1910s, nudity has been box-office GOLD. To celebrate over a 100 years of cinematic BARE-ARSERY, we bring you this little bit of movie TIT HISTORY, with occasional glimpses of SUPERSTAR SMOO. Lights, camera – roll em! CHARLIZE THERON She’s done heaps of nudie stuff, but Charlize looked particulary grouse in 2000’s Reindeer Games. MARGOT ROBBIE The Aussie champ hit the big time with The Wolf Of Wall Street – she was never NUDER! OLIVIA WILDE Nothing says ART like a hairy smoo, and there are none hairier than Livvy’s in the HBO series Vinyl. LINDSAY LOHAN Linds always wanted to be Marilyn Monroe. Why not? Her career’s about as dead as Marilyn anyway. HEATHER GRAHAM She’s been nude in films heaps, but only once on roller skates, and that was in 1997’s…

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two up

Double your pleasure with these bosom buddies JENNA SATIVA & SAMANTHA HAYES This is Samantha rehearsing her new ventriloquist act, with Jenna as her dummy. Guess where Sam’s got her right hand! UMA JOLIE & GOLDIE For these committed clit-hoppers, there’s NO CHANCE of them ever becoming “hasbians” – that’s the word for lezzos who go back to rooting men. CHLOE LYNN & CHARLOTTE STOKELY The word “Lesbian” comes from the Greek island of Lesbos. If the locals are all like Chloe and Charlotte we’re booking a holiday! AVA TAYLOR & JANICE GRIFFITH If you’re wondering how we view lesbian relationships like that of porn hotties Ava and Janice, the answer is: on a wide screen in full HD. AIDRA FOX & ELLE ALEXANDRA We hear that Aidra and Elle’s favourite place to eat is an all-you-can-eat MUFFET. The clam…