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The PictureThe Picture

The Picture Issue 1912

The Picture is an Australian men’s magazine aimed at the average bloke. It’s full of local stories, nude women, puzzles, prizes and jokes.

Bauer Media Pty Ltd
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26 Issues


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party of 5

IN THE history of nudeness, the phenomenon known as Page 3 will be remembered fondly for bringing TITS to the Pommy working man, via his daily newspaper. Between 1969 and 2015, life on the grey, soggy rock known as England was made almost bearable by the parade of HOT BABES who appeared, funbags a-flappin’, on Page 3 of fishwrappers such as The Sun, The Mirror, The Daily Star and the Sunday Sport. Legendary Pommy spunks such as Samantha Fox, Debee Ashby, Jo Guest, Linsey Dawn McKenzie, Melinda Messenger, Lucy Pinder, Sophie Howard and even Spice Girl Geri Halliwell got their norks out on Page 3, all in the name of TOP JOURNAMALISM. It all came to an ending – and not a HAPPY one either – in 2015, when the wowsers finally won…

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wobbly world

BERLIN! Would you buy a used truck from this woman? German hornbag Arianne practices her sales technique, and it‘s so bloody good we’re already applying for a car loan. WARSAW! Polish model Lenta nipped out to pick up a couple of things – a bra, and a new zipper for her dress. Trouble is, she’s in the grocery store. DOH! Oh Lenta, you galoot! KRAKOW! This is what’s known as flashing by proxy. Amelie is too shy to get her own tits out, so she gives the fellas a squiz at her spunky mate Claudia’s cans instead. KIEV! It’s just what the Ukrainian capital needed – a nude spunk, door-to-door car-wash service. Their motto: “High-pressure hoses and bugger-all CLOTHSES” KENTUCKY! Romanian model and part-time lezzo porn star Luna Amore was touring the USA in a vintage car and stopped…

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news flash

WHAT A LOW ACT DOPEY Irishman Chris Fitzgibbon wants his local council to pay him $2500 to cover the damage caused to his lowered VW Passat when it smashes into their speed bumps. Now Fitzy, from Limerick, has to go 50kms out of his way to get to work every day. “I feel discriminated against because I drive a modified car and I’m being denied my right to drive on these roads,” he said. Quite rightly, the council told him to GET FUCKED. HOLY SUDS! MORE than 220 years since their last batch, some Belgian monks have started brewing their arse-kicking beer again. Grimbergen Abbey, north of Brussels, and it’s attached brewery were smashed to shit by French troops in 1795, but some clever old monks stashed the secret beer recipes away, and…

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lana’s car wash

EVER wondered what tall, big-titted erotic model Lana Kendrick does to earn a crust between photo shoots? It was something that was keeping us up at night, so we looked into it, and it turns out she’s got a SIDE GIG. The German-born stunner has turned the driveway of her LA home into a big-boob carwash. By that we don’t mean she hoses down HUGEHOOTERED HYUNDAIS or MONSTER-MAMMED MERCS, but that she uses those gargantuan G-CUP GRANOLAS of hers to scrub customers’ cars SQUEAKY CLEAN. So next time we’re in LA we’re definitely going there – even if we have to take a RENTAL.…

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great scot!

HEATHER McCartney wants you to know she’s back, and she’s ready to party. The Gold Coast-based Scottish stripper made headlines in 2014 when she dropped her duds in a corporate box at the AFL grand final and did a little window dance enjoyed by THOUSANDS. A bit of ARRESTING, a $300 fine and some fame ensued. Since then she’s been backpacking around the world and visiting her homeland of MACSCOTLAND before coming back to Oz to resume her nudie career. Hey, Heather. Planning anymore sports-related stripping shenanigans? “Been thinking about it, yeah. I’m keen on attending State of Origin. Go Maroons!” Have any famous footie players tried to crack your defence? “A few here, and in Scotland, too. And I’ve still got a famous cricket player messaging me wanting to bite my bum.” Well, it’s a bum…

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grin & bear it!

HEY, you two – get a room! You’d be forgiven for thinking that Seppo wildlife carer Jim Kowalczik and his cuddle buddy Jimbo, a YOOOJ Kodiak bear, were having a romantic SMOOCH here. It looks like any minute they’re gunna start making SWEET LOVE, but in reality their relationship is a lot different to that. Phew, eh! Jim and Jimbo are more like father and son, since Jim raised the giant furry galoot since Jimbo was a WIDDLE CUB 20-something years ago. And even though Jimbo could easily chew off Jim’s head and suck his brains out like slurping a fresh oyster out of the shell, he PROBABLY won’t ’cos they’re so close. Jim and his wife Susan have 11 other bears at their critter orphanage in New York State, but Jimbo’s the biggest…