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VizViz

Viz

June/July 2019

Viz has been gracing British newsagents' shelves since 1979. Its irreverent mix of bad language, childish cartoons and sharp satire has seen its creators hauled over the coals by the United Nations, questioned by Scotland Yard's anti-terrorist branch and exhibited in the Tate Gallery. Viz's comic characters, such as the Fat Slags, Sid the Sexist, and Roger Mellie the foul-mouthed Man on the Telly, as well as its hugely popular Top Tips and Profanisaurus sections, are firmly established as national institutions, just like Broadmoor Hospital for the Criminally Insane. *Manufacturer's estimate.

País:
United Kingdom
Língua:
English
Editora:
Dennis Publishing UK
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COMPRAR EDIÇÃO
3,48 €(IVA Incl.)
ASSINATURA
31,32 €(IVA Incl.)
10 Edições

NESTA EDIÇÃO

access_time15 minutos
letter bocks

I HAD a dream the other night where Kim Jong-un came to my university to give a talk to hundreds of students in the lecture theatre. Before he started, they began playing a video that was rather disrespectful to the North Korean dictator, and he got up and furiously started to walk out. I immediately stood up at the back and shouted, “That’s right. Fuck off, you fat bastard,” to great applause from everyone. Have any other readers insulted a dictator in a dream in front of an appreciative audience? Arthur Dury, Nottingham HAS anyone else noticed that films are not the same as real life? You would never get anyone hanging from a clock face on Big Ben to prevent Russian agents from starting a war in Europe in real life,…

access_time2 minutos
top tips

RECREATE the nostalgic magic of childhood bath times by sitting up to your neck in Matey bubbles whilst urinating. Eldon Furse, email GIVE all of your food that authentic and trendy ‘Street Food’ taste by incorporating diesel fumes into the cooking and preparation process. Ray, Prestwich LOSE weight together as a family by having a series of indicative votes about what to have for tea and ending up having fuck all. Steve Crouch, Peterborough NEXT time you buy from Ikea, build your piece of flatpack furniture in the car park. Then, when you discover the wooden plug or whatever piece is missing, you can quickly nip back into the shop to get one. Then dismantle and load into the car. Terry Farricker, Blackpool FITNESS fanatics. Make the most of your exercise bike by attaching wheels to it and…

access_time1 minutos
noughts & crosses corner

A BOLD move Mr Lawrence, but it seems blindingly obvious that you are forcing me to play bottom left. I was going to make that move, but last night I watched a documentary about magicians and how they use misdirection on their unsuspecting audience, making them look one way when the real trick is going on elsewhere. So, on the assumption that you too saw this splendid program, or are indeed yourself an amateur magician, I refuse to fall into your trap and will follow the advice of readers and take the centre square. Over to you. S Andrews, Bristol WITH regard to the Andrews/ Lawrence game of noughts and crosses, I too play a similar game called X and O. In the version I play, we use 9 similar boxes, but…

access_time4 minutos
have your say!

LAST MONTH, viewers of the BBC’s Politics Live show witnessed a tense stare-off between Brexiteer MP MARK FRANCOIS and left-wing author WILL SELF. Francois claimed that before the show went on air, Self had made derogatory comments about his genitals, but the MP refused to reveal the nature of the remarks. And ever since, all thoughts of Brexit have been cast aside as the nation wonders about what exactly was said. We went on the street to ask the British people, both leavers and remainers, what they thought Will Self said about Mark Francois’s cock… …I VOTED to leave the EU in 2016, and I think that Will Self probably accused Mark Francois of having a cock that constantly looks like he’s just come out the sea or something. Although obviously…

access_time3 minutos
notre dame fire letter bocks

WHEN I was in Paris a couple of years ago, I had a few pints and then went up the towers of Notre Dame. When I got to the top I was absolutely busting for a piss, but had to hold it in for forty-five minutes until the spiral staircase was clear of people coming up. Could I suggest that when rebuilding it after the fire, the Parisians take the opportunity of sticking a couple of bogs on the top? Brandon Crumbs, Tooting IT wouldn’t surprise me if the April fire was God’s judgement on us for something. I’m not sure what He’d be judging us for, probably same-sex marriage or gays in the priesthood. It’ll definitely be something to do with homosexuals, anyway, as they seem to really boil His piss. Egbert…

access_time2 minutos
hatie cockpins

WHEN Notre Dame Cathedral caught fire last month, there was an immediate international outpouring of grief. Well newsflash … Not in the Cockpins household there wasn’t. And if that shocks you, tough titty. Get over yourself. Because get this, I hated the place. So what if it was big in the thirteenth century? So was the Black Death, and I don’t see anyone raising money to bring that back. Having said that, I’d happily put my hand in my pocket if I thought it would bring the Black Death back. A dose of Bubonic Plague might do this country some good. If it saw off a few social security scroungers, asylum seekers and returning Isis brides, I for one would be delighted. And if that offends your precious liberal sensibilities, then good. Because I don’t…

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