Table of contents for March 2017 in CAR UK

IMAGES: MARIA COOKE Whose idea was this? Off-road 2CV Cross racing has existed in France for about as long as there have been 2CVs, but some bright spark imported the same template to Britain’s circuits in 1989. Over a quarter of a century later the 2CV Racing Club is still going strong, with an epic annual 24-hour endurance race the flagship event in its multi-circuit championship. Body roll ahoy! Soft, standard 2CVs roll like a ship in distress, but the racers are lowered and relatively composed by comparison. ‘They handle like any small, front-wheel-drive car,’ says the 2CV racing club’s Chris Yates. ‘I used to race Minis and the feeling is the same. We use decent shocks, and they only weigh 500kg.’ Good job; max power’s 45bhp. Wheel to wheel…

Jaguar E-Pace With a solid gold hit on its hands in the F-Pace, Jaguar has wasted no time in wheeling out a downsized version. Sharing its core with the next-gen Evoque means a steel rather than aluminium structure, and reduced cost; E-Pace will be closer to £30k when it arrives this summer. Like its Land Rover sisters it will have four-cylinder petrol and diesel units only, but a 300bhp turbocharged petrol and 230bhp diesel in the top versions will give it the necessary Jaguar punch. When the electric i-Pace arrives in 2018, Jag will have gone from 0 to three SUVs in just two years. Kia B-SUV Kia has a couple of baby MPVs, but no SUV. Doh! The balance will shift this autumn when this B-segment crossover – tipped…

1 All hail the fifth-generation Lexus LS, which claims to inject a dose of dynamism into the limousine’s trademark civility. Adopting Lexus’s stiff new global architecture drops the centre of gravity, trims 90kg despite its 5.2m length, and pushes the engine back in the nose. It’s a recipe that delivered on the LC500 coupe. 2 The first engine announced is a twin-turbo, 3.5-litre V6 mustering a prodigious 415bhp, coupled with the smooth and snappy 10-speed torque converter auto. With all-wheel drive, it’s good for 0-62mph in 4.5sec. No word on whether this V6 will come to the UK: a hybrid is a cert when sales begin early 2018. 3 The LS is saddled with the acronym VDIM: Vehicle Dynamics Integrated Management. This chassis control system sounds anything but dim, adapting…

THE £150,000, 592BHP Nismo is the most extreme Nissan GT-R of the lot, with GT3 race-spec turbos and bespoke carbon bodywork. But we went to Silverstone to test its USB port. That’s because buried in the further reaches of the Nismo’s spec list is a telemetry function called Nissan-Connect Nismo Plus. Plug a USB stick into the centre console, press the record button, and if you happen to be at one of the real-life racetracks featured in PlayStation 3 game Gran Turismo 6 , it’ll log every scrap of data from your on-track exploits, pooling figures from both the car’s on-board sensors and GPS. Plug said stick into a PS3 after and it can replay your entire session (or up to 32GB of it) within the environs of GT6 ,…

One day a parcel will arrive when I’m actually home... Merc promises to outlaw pesky trips to the sorting office, with guaranteed drop-off times despite a day’s deliveries increasing by 50%. How? Its Vision Van (VV) concept, that’s how. If 007’s Q branch made a van... Not only is it fabulous to look at, but the VV is packed with gadgetry. Instead of messy humans lobbing breakables in the back, this cargo bay is meticulously segmented and loaded according to an algorithm which has calculated the optimal delivery route. The driver – not supplanted by autonomy or robots in this case – uses a joystick to pilot the zero-emissions electric van to his stop, then waits by the delivery chute for the correct package. What if there’s a white van…

THE LAMBORGHINI Aventador S looks much like the original Aventador from 2011. Spotters might notice the fanged bumper that contributes to 130% more front downforce, the wider vents for extra cooling, maybe the new TFT digital driver’s display, but most people won’t. This is deceiving, because the S feels completely different. Lamborghini technical director Maurizio Reggiani remembers the first time he tried its new rear-wheel steering system. ‘I said to my team, “you f**k with me”, this is an Aventador SV!’ he says laughing. ‘It felt so much lighter, so much more agile.’ This is good news, because while I fell completely for the lighter, more hardcore SV, I’ve never gelled with an entry-level Aventador. It needed a reinvention. In the hope of making us swear like Reggiani, Lamborghini is…

LIKE DOCTOR WHO , the Nissan Micra has suffered a rollercoaster journey over the years. One moment, it’s a Brit-bubble hit, the next it transforms into a malformed pink convertible even diehard fans would struggle to love. It shows how badly global product syndication can work, ping-ponging between manufacturing and styling bases in Japan, Sunderland and India. No wonder the end result was a culture clash of fusion design. So it comes as considerable relief that Nissan is atoning for the outgoing blandbox. Make no mistake: the new 2017 Micra is a wildly better product, engineered and built in Europe to better suit local tastes. The wardrobe is more contemporary, with a modish swagger where before greige cardies were order of the day. It’s quite fussy in…

• VIA CAR ONLINE I could not agree more with your positive remarks about the second-generation Mini Cooper S (Icon Buyer, January). After reluctantly giving up our much loved Audi A2 1.6 Sport, used as a second car, I shopped around for a used second-gen Cooper S with the right spec to replace it. I finally found it, thinking this car was specced exactly as I would, and probably bought new by another certified car guy. As it turned out, it was, as I found that the first owner was no less than former Bugatti boss and successful racer Dr Thomas Bscher. For me, much of the attraction with the Cooper S of this generation comes from the compact size and low weight. The 170-horsepower turbo engine together with a…

LOOK, NO CLOCKS VW Group is bringing a first to the class by offering a digital instrument display as an option on all models. Dubbed Active Info Display, it comprises a 12.3in colour screen display, a high 1440 x 540 resolution and dispenses with physical instruments altogether in favour of configurable screens. Although already used in the Passat, Golf Mk7.5 joins its Seat Leon offshoot in going digital. It can display navigation maps in 2D or 3D and shift the rev counter and speedometer to the sides for a clearer view, in an Audi Virtual Cockpit style, plus there are five different display profiles to choose from. Contrasting colours vary with model too, with red for the GTI and blue for the GTE, naturally. THE BIG SCREEN Since 1997’s Mk4…

Below 37mph the car will take care of steering, braking and accelerating THE MK7.5 GOLF democratises advanced active and passive safety. For a modest fee (£1120/£1225), Volkswagen will install your new Golf with just about every conceivable driver assistance system available in this vehicle segment. The Lane Assist Plus package gets you Rear Traffic Alert, Traffic Jam Assist, Traffic Sign Recognition and either High-beam Assist or Dynamic Light Assist. In combination with the DSG semi-automatic transmission, Traffic Jam Assist is the first step toward allowing the car to do its own thing while you daydream out of the side window. The speed range for the adaptive cruise control has been extended to cover everything from rest to 125mph, but more importantly it combines with the Lane Assist system to give…

A worker strolls past, whistling The Godfather theme. Maybe they do that for all foreign visitors Most carmakers only allow their own cars to be parked in front of HQ, and most car company bosses studiously avoid even mentioning the competition. But not Pagani. Horacio’s parking space outside his new factory is as likely to be occupied by his Porsche 918 or his Ferrari TdF or his Ford GT as by a Pagani. And he doesn’t conceal his lifelong enthusiasm for the other supercar makers just because he now competes with them. Pagani on the Porsche 918 ‘Porsche is the reference point when it comes to sportscars. It is the sportscar maker. Ferrari is iconic, incredible, legendary. But at the technical and engineering level, Porsche is…

PEUGEOT 308 GTi 270 • Price £28,445 • Engine 1598cc 16v turbo 4-cyl, 268bhp @ 6000rpm, 243lb ft @ 1900rpm • Transmission 6-speed manual, limited-slip differential, front-wheel drive • Performance 6.0sec 0-62mph, 155mph (limited), 47.1mpg, 139g/km CO2 • Suspension Pseudo-MacPherson strut front, torsion beam rear • Weight/made from: 1205kg/steel • Length/width/height 4253/1446/2043mm • Example insurance quote* £285.88 • On sale 2015-present HONDA CIVIC TYPE R MUGEN • Price new £38,599 • Value now £27,000 • Engine 1998cc 16v turbo 4-cyl, 237bhp @ 8300rpm, 157lb ft @ 6250rpm • Transmission 6-speed manual, limited-slip differential, front-wheel drive • Performance 6.0sec 0-62mph, 150mph, 27mpg, n/a CO2 • Suspension MacPherson strut front, torsion beam rear • Weight/made from 1247kg/steel • Length/width/height 4280/1795/1440 • Example insurance quote* £342.85 • On sale 2009-2010 THE MODERN HOT…

• THERE WERE PLENTY of quick Benzes that had benefitted from AMG’s magic, but the SL55 marked a watershed for the performance brand . Not only was it the most powerful production Merc to date but it was a complete performance package. • WITH ITS SUPERCHARGED 5.4-litre V8 making 493bhp, speed was not in short supply. Nominally restricted to the usual 155mph, a ticked box could get that bumped to 186mph – a German magazine cracked 202mph at the Nardo test track in Italy with the limiter removed. • THE KEY MECHANICALS are tough. The engine is a beefed-up evolution of the naturally aspirated SL500, but check the supercharger for undue noise and any leaks from its charge cooler. Check the auto selects ratios cleanly and has had its fluid…

ALEX TAPLEY JUDGING BY the amount of information screen-sponsored yelling at me the car has been doing of late, it would appear that – despite the Passat still having over 10,000 miles to run until it’s due for a first service – it’s, oh Lordy... maintenance time. The scope of my technical knowledge being almost exclusively limited to old British Hi-Fi components and the adjustment of telescopic sights for the purposes of mid-range rat slaying, I have, thus far, managed to studiously ignore the presence of a second cap under the fuel filler flap mysteriously marked AdBlue. Recently, however, the flashing warnings became increasingly strident and expletive-laden, to the tune of ‘Look, knucklehead; if you don’t add AdBlue within a couple of hundred miles, the car won’t start and your…

COUNT THE COST Cost new £46,615 (including £3215 of options) Dealer sale price £37,199 Private sale price: £35,804 Part-exchange price: £33,884 Cost per mile 12p Cost per mile including depreciation £1.38 OUR FAMILY SPLITS with the seven-seat Discovery Sport on Friday. The next day, my brother flies into the country, accompanied by a vast holdall. With the Disco, the four of us could collect him from the airport, bundling one of the child seats into the third row to create space. Without it, our loss is Avis’s gain. Once a month, we used the six- or seven-seat capability. The back benches can accommodate adults for short journeys, so long as the second row sacrifices a little of its bounteous space. The boot is big in five-seat mode, and with the…

1 Whoa! We’re going to Ibiza? Looks like it’s actually worth the trip this time, as the poor man’s Polo shapes up into a smart-suited mini-Leon for 2017. This is the first VW Group model to use its fresh ‘MQB A0’ small car platform; the next-gen Polo will follow a little later down the line. 2 Let me guess: bigger inside? Now five-door-only, the Ibiza gets a longer wheelbase to boost kneeroom, despite being a smidge shorter (but wider) overall, with a 63-litre bigger boot. Square-cut interior packs wireless charging and a smartphone-fluent 8in touchscreen. 3 And smaller bits under the bonnet? A turbo’d and intercooled 1.0-litre petrol triple comes in 94 and 113bhp flavours; it’ll be joined by the Golf’s 148bhp Evo 1.5-litre, and a 79bhp/94bhp 1.6 turbodiesel. Little…

Faraday Future FF 91 Anything Tesla can do, including naming itself after a dead scientist, Faraday Future fancies having a go at too. This hugely complicated creation previews the US-based EV specialist start-up’s first production car. It’s pencilled for production in 2018 and Faraday’s taking deposits now, but with the firm’s new factory on pause and a fast-revolving door spinning in the boardroom, how much of the four-door’s ambitious spec – including a 1000bhp+ powertrain, sub-2.4sec 0-60mph time and facial recognition in lieu of a key – will make it to the street remains to be seen. Somewhat embarrassingly, the FF 91’s ‘driverless valet’ system (whereby the driver can leave the car to park itself) refused to play ball in an on-stage demo at CES. Doubters remain very vocal. NEED…

PHOTOGRAPHY: NIKO TAVERNISE 1 FOR ITS LOVE OF CARS! John Wick, the world’s most relentless hitman, has unfinished business. His beloved 1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1 remains stashed with the criminal gang that forced him out of retirement, by taking away the things John loves: the puppy gifted him by his late wife – and his muscle car. That’s an emotional connection all car enthusiasts will relate to. In the cult first film, the Mach 1 was a key plot trigger but it stayed out of the fray – in John Wick: Chapter Two, it’s sucked into the mayhem… 2 FOR ITS UNSTOPPABLE ACTION! Yes, that is the Mach 1 oversteering in mid-air. It’s John Wick liberating his ‘Stang from its captors, a sequence which stunt co-ordinator Darrin Prescott recalls…

The one with the jokey name ID Buzz concept (Detroit 2017) Biggest of the Microbus (or ‘Buzz, in American slang) concepts, and one that might finally make production. Built on a stretched version of VW’s MEB platform (the one that’ll underpin VW’s electric future), it seats eight in theoretically autonomous, tritely two-tone comfort. The similar one with a silly name Budd-e (CES 2016) Almost a year to the day before the Buzz’s debut, VW pulled the covers from the slightly smaller, less overtly retro Budd-e. A 101kWh battery in the floor juices two electric motors to a theoretical range of 373 miles. All-electric powertrain, MEB platform, tipped for possible production by 2020. Déjà-vu? Bully, but not for you Bulli concept (Geneva 2011) The most compact Kombi concept of the bunch,…

SAM CHICK YOU WILL HAVE read an opinion, usually somewhere on the internet, where a very fast, very big, very expensive car is launched, such as this Bentley Continental Super-sports, and somebody insists that while it may be fast, a well driven 205 GTi, or Clio Williams, or Golf R would beat it down a B-road. Well, the internet can keep its opinions to yourself this time. I don’t care if you’re the love child of Hannu Mikkola and Joey Dunlop, whichever hot hatch you’re ragging is going to be obliterated down the B84703 by whatever hamfisted millionaire is driving the Bentley Continental Supersports. While listening to opera, having a massage. Why do I know this to be a fact (remember those)? Well, 700bhp from the 6.0-litre twin-turbo W12 to…

IT LOOKS JUST as odd in real life, if you’re wondering. Like it’s trying on a hat that doesn’t quite fit. Last time Mazda made a hard-top MX-5 it had a simple folding fibreglass lid, but the Mk4 MX-5 RF (for ‘retractable fastback’) adopts a complex flying-buttressed arrangement of aluminium, steel and plastic, turning the little roadster into a distinctive quasi-coupe. Pressing a switch on the centre console triggers a 13-second origami display as the buttresses lift upwards, the roof panels and rear glass sweep themselves neatly away beneath, and the fairings return to their original position, without impinging on boot space. Former MX-5 programme director Nobuhiro Yamamoto tells us the engineering team explored ways to hide the roof completely, buttresses and all, but ultimately found it a lighter and…

GIVEN ALL THE work that goes in, there is of course some trepidation when it comes to removing a really good quiche from its oven dish. It’d be a shame if the perfectly baked thing of beauty ended up on your plate as a broken heap of fabulous-tasting pastry and egg shrapnel. Or would it? Would it really matter? Fine quiche is still fine quiche. And, fortunately, a supercharged V8 Range Rover is still a supercharged V8 Range Rover, however it’s served up. The endlessly named Range Rover SVAutobiography Dynamic (are you really supposed to say the middle bit as one word, and with a straight face?) is a product of Jaguar Land Rover’s performance and personalisation arm, Special Vehicle Operations. Part boutique, part infant AMG/M-esque halo maker, SVO has…

WITH an inevitable focus on petrol units, Golf 7.5 is the first recipient of the first TSI Evo engine. Enlarged from 1.4 to 1.5 litres it gets a host of tech to boost efficiency and performance, such as a mapped oil pump, injection pressures upped by 75% and polymer-coated crankshaft bearings. All versions have cylinder shutdown, while a 128bhp BlueMotion model adds a Miller-derived cycle, a VTG turbocharger and a higher compression ratio to hit 104g/ km CO2. Yet the regular 148bhp version achieves 114g/km with a DSG gearbox and still kicks out 184lb ft at 1500rpm; who needs diesel? Against the stopwatch the 1.5 TSI is three tenths of a second quicker from 0-62mph than the 2.0 TDI. But the diesel throws 67lb ft of additional torque into the…

From the outside, the low-key unit in the midst of a scruffy industrial estate in Southern California looks more like a car graveyard than the home of a world-class car collection. Behind the wire fence rest a good dozen incognito casualties, parked side by side, casually protected against weather by yellow covers or grey tarp, anonymous hulls with uncertain fates. Behind the roll-up gate, however, a tightly packed array of shining BMWs from the ’60s and ’70s await us in what is half warehouse, half workshop. The collector in question wishes to remain anonymous. He’s 48 years old and wants to be known simply as Rey. He made a packet in the dairy business, and is on a mission to buy whatever M cars take his fancy. When he ran…

Infiniti is mounting a concerted challenge to the established German hierarchy IN THIS SOMEWHAT back-to-front world in which we live, the cost of less is sometimes more. More legroom on that long-haul flight? That will be extra, sir. Two fewer doors and less rear legroom than the saloon? That will be extra, sir. And so it is that, as a general rule, you must lose the space, versatility and value of a saloon if you want the greater style and cachet of a coupe. Whether it’s a worthy trade or not is entirely your call, but clearly there’s something in it – otherwise Infiniti wouldn’t go to the trouble of creating a Q60 from the bones of the Q50. Still in relative infancy in the UK, Infiniti is finally getting…

They use their vehicle not as a status symbol but as a tool WILLIAM WORDSWORTH. Alfred Wainwright. JR Hartley. Men of the country all. And to that list we can add the Mini, because they say so on the badge: Countryman. An SUV made for the ruminating, pipe-smoking chap with a far-off look in his eyes and wispy, windswept hair on his head. Except of course it’s not. I’d wager that the Mini mini-SUV, now freshly minted in its shiny new second iteration, has never had an occupant who keeps his trousers up with string, and uses the boot to ferry ferrets. It’s a smallish family car for middlingly well-off suburbanites. Who is Mini kidding? Not us. It’s called Countryman, it’s got four-wheel drive, so we should be able to…

•‘I BOUGHT A V8 Vantage in about 2008, and absolutely loved it. Then I got a call from the supplying dealer who was short of stock and they offered me such a good price that I exported it back to the UK. Then I needed a new car; maybe another V8, but then I figured out I could afford a V12. It was everything the V8 Vantage did, but probably 50 or 60% more performance. And it does fly. Obviously you can’t use that performance at all in Switzerland, not even in the mountains; there’s a couple of times when you can get away with it but the thing is they hear you coming a mile away!’ •‘IT’S ONE OF the last regular V12 Vantages; it came from some guy’s…

MARITAL HARMONY isn’t a job, it’s a lifetime’s vocation, and one that should be entered into reverently, soberly and in the fear of God. I would stay a long way away from saying that my better half is difficult to please; more that she has exacting tastes and is forthright in her opinions. Nowhere is this more evident than when it comes to cars, where old is gold, eight cylinders is a minimum and sub-400bhp equals irrelevance. A keeper, then. Selling her the idea of the Prius as the main mode of transport for a whole year was something of a stealth mission, as the frequent reappearance of a non-Lamborghini red wedge on the driveway was arousing suspicion. But I need not have worried. A busy couple of weeks spent…

BRAZIL Chevy’s Onix supermini clings to the top of the wreckage of Brazil’s fast-shrinking car market for the second year after ending Fiat’s 30-year run at the top, while Toyota is successfully scavenging for sales, partly using its Hilux pick-up (pictured). Fiat sales dropped a painful 31% last year, but help is at hand in the form of its new Toro sub-Hilux pick-up. Stablemate Jeep, meanwhile, rose to 10th place. BEST-SELLING CAR Chevrolet Onix 820,799 FALLING FAST Everyone else US The Japanese locked out the non-SUV market again, as they have for 20 years, while the US Big Three were once again embarrassed by their flaccid car sales. Indeed FCA Fiat-Chrysler even killed its Focus-sized Chrysler 200 saloon, sending Chrysler-brand sales down to 18th. The US makers instead gave praise…

WHAT THE WORLD probably doesn’t need right now is another crossover, but Citroën most certainly does. Having sorted out its small-car game with the C3 and C4 Cactus, the French are revealing how they’ll plug one SUV-shaped hole in the range with this C-Aircross concept. It gets a Geneva premiere this spring, with the production version not too far behind. There are plenty of shared genes with smaller C-models, including off-road-style Air Bumps sited along the running boards and a generous injection of plastic cladding to protect the lower body. But this is no giant disabled bay-hogger; the C-Aircross will take aim at B-segment rivals such as the Nissan Juke (and will also spawn Vauxhall’s Crossland X in a joint venture with GM). Citroën is making a big noise about…

ILLUSTRATION: SENOR SALME LAWRENCE TOMLINSON HAS the calm, confident air of the man who backed the right horse. Actually, he didn’t just back it, he also bred it, trained it, selected the jockey and organised the race. Tomlinson, the owner of Ginetta since 2005, is a hugely successful man. None of that success seems to be down to luck. So now that he’s announced that Ginetta is stepping up into the biggest league in his chosen sport, you need to take him seriously. From 2018, three teams will be competing in LMP1, the top class of the World Endurance Championship and the Le Mans 24 Hours, in Ginettas. ‘This Thursday, we’re watching engines on the dyno,’ says Tomlinson of the project’s progress. ‘Then to the wind tunnel. Track testing should…

ILLUSTRATION: AERIFORM 1 CLOUDS? CONCIERGES? WHAT? In-car microphones will pick up your command – ‘remind me to get flowers when I leave work’. Your instruction is recorded and streamed into the cloud, where AI processes it, setting the relevant app reminder. Alexa’s learned profile will have established where you work, so when your car leaves the premises, you’ll get the reminder. 2 WHAT’S BEHIND THIS? ‘VW is an expert in mobility and Amazon sells goods and entertainment. Connecting both worlds is the next step,’ says Volkmar Tanneberger, VW’s head of electrical and electronic development. SNS Telecom Research estimates connected car services are already worth $14bn globally – and will grow 31% a year out to 2020. Car makers want in on this revenue. 3 ON-SOFA CAR CHAT Lots of people…

• THE FUTURE is happening now. This isn’t a nice article about the promised land in your magazine; a unicorn you’ll never see. It’s real. • WE’RE STARTING to sell the first features as apps, independent of how you buy your car. In the past you’d choose a car, check all the options, get it built – and that was it. The first option that you could buy through our app store as opposed to the normal factory order process was the remote parking feature on the E-Class, where you can step out and park it with your smartphone. You can download that app for €139 for three years. • THIS ECOSYSTEM will grow. With the connected cars we’re working on you will see a rapid increase in the use…

THE NUMBERS are remarkable, but they only tell part of the story. The Carrera GTS is the latest version of the turbocharged 991.2, and it follows the same template as the GTS version of the naturally-aspirated 991. With an additional 30bhp over the current Carrera S, and 20bhp over the previous GTS, taking it to 444bhp, it’s capable of nudging 200mph. Thirty years ago, these figures were good enough to cement the 959 legend. Today, they are the stats for a 911 that doubles as weekday hack and weekend trackday plaything. Porsche 911 fans should love it, but there’s nothing here that requires you to have a background with 911s – anyone who likes driving will be bowled over. There’s more power, and it goes a little faster, but the…

ON PAPER, THIS is a winner. A new Porsche with two engines, two driven axles and two filler caps: one for petrol, the other one for electricity. In total, this arrangement produces 460bhp and 516lb ft of torque. The harsh reality arrives the moment you drive the new hybrid version of the new-shape Panamera hybrid the way most owners drive their Porsches. The problem is that the petrol-electric five-door coupe weighs a lardy 2.2 tonnes, plus options. The extra heft may be invisible, but you can feel it through every corner, during every acceleration manoeuvre and whenever the brakes must grab all this mass and momentum. A push at the black Sport Response button can get you a memorable 20 seconds of extra e-boost, but the claimed top speed of…

MANY THANKS TO ROCKINGHAM MOTOR SPEEDWAY FOR THE LOCATION. FOR 2017 TRACKDAY DATES, GO TO ROCKINGHAM.CO.UK/TRACK-DAYS Volkswagen High Up 1.0 TSI Grown-up’s toy or just for the kids? Makes the Polo feel like a special edition for librarians but really the Up’s still too tasteful to be wasted on young people and their poor taste. Pocket money or melted plastic? £12k as standard is par for the course here, making it insufficiently more expensive than the competition for snootier potential buyers. Shame, they’ll be missing out. Gulliver-esque or Lilliputian? Shaved-box exterior means spacious interior. Real-life tall people will actually fit, and the rear two seats will accommodate humans. What will they think of next? Ah, that’s later in the issue you say? Cut-price or Fisher-Price? Please. There are few buttons,…

VW’s talismanic wunderkind honed for its toughest mission yet IF YOU HAVEN’T already owned one you’ve probably wanted to. If you owned a Mk1 or Mk2 GTI, chances are you’d love another (and you need only see one on the road to launch into an endless diatribe of lofty but deserved praise). It’s a car that needs no complex excuse for purchase nor explanation. The Golf is everywhere, and a look at the sales figures confirms there’s some truth in that: 958,000 found new owners in 2014. 2015 sales exceeded 1million. Truly it remains the people’s car. Not that Volkswagen is under any illusions that the Golf is bulletproof. VW, it is fair to say, has had a tough 12 months. ‘Challenging’ doesn’t quite cover it. The product must reassure…

The GTI corners with a captivating blend of grip and mighty exit speed A GOLF IS A Golf is a Golf. Class-defining and at the same time class-less, it has been an icon and talisman for the Volkswagen brand and its treasurers since 1974. True to the maxim ‘never change a winning team’, the design changes introduced for 2017 are subtle. The sheet metal remains untouched; bumpers, lights and grille get fresh make-up. It’s the familiar GTI but looking a little leaner, a little sharper than you remember it. There are new wheels, extra brightwork and four little red winglets underlining the LED headlights. The turbocharged 2.0-litre four gets more power, thereby matching the acceleration times of the outgoing GTI Performance: the Mk7.5 GTI boasts 227bhp in standard form and…

THE COUNTRYMAN shares its drivetrain with the BMW X1. Unlike the extreme, race-ready drivetrain in the Dakar car (six-speed sequential gearbox, Sadev centre differential, lockable and oil-cooled front and rear Xtrac diffs), the road-going Countryman’s All4 system has been developed to deliver torque accurately, with more internal efficiency, and to be as light and as compact as possible. There’s a power takeoff unit in the front differential, connected by propshaft to the rear diff and axle, where a clutch measures out the precise levels of torque needed. It’s linked to the Dynamic Stability Control which manages power when it detects slip.…

£16k-£30k, 2006-2008 Audi RS4 (B7) 4163cc 8-cyl, 414bhp, 4.5sec 0-62mph, 155mph • Is this a good idea? ‘They’re a reliable car but they do take a lot of maintenance. They’re a brilliant all-rounder, a lovely package, but they really come into their stride at higher speeds – that’s their sweet spot.’ • How much? ‘Probably £16k is your entry level now. Like any car, the ones that have been well maintained hold their value, but we see a lot of cars that have been seen by normal garages and they miss out on all the little tricks, like the airbox flap seizes.’ • What’s going to break? ‘Because it’s a direct port injection engine the inlet valves coke up quite heavily, so for that reason you need to lift the…

CHRIS TEAGLES Access denied The i8’s dihedral doors can be opened fully in a tighter space than a conventional door. However, if an unwitting motorist parks fractionally too close, you’ve no chance of creating any meaningful aperture at all. Misjudge the gap from inside, similarly, and you may cleave the door mirror clean off the adjacent car. Cleared for departure Fire up the BMW Remote app, or scroll to the relevant menu in the car, and you can set timers that will automatically bring the cabin up to temperature by the desired departure time. So, no more battling with ice scrapers or scorching seats. Best enabled when the parked car’s plugged in, to preserve the battery’s charge. Full charge ahead! Want to preserve a decent level of battery charge so…

ALEX TAPLEY £1935 SPORTS EXHAUST Blasting away from poor people without a fanfare? Then option the sports exhaust to ram your point home. £805 NECK WARMER Breathes warm air on to your neck, so there’s no need for that army surplus balaclava. £6185 MULLINER DRIVING SPECIFICATION A money-saving option packaging a number of popular bits together, like a Shell garage Meal Deal, MDS offers 21-inch seven-spoke, diamond-turned black alloys, drilled alloy sports pedals, embroidered emblems in the headrests, fancy fuel and oil caps and quilted leather cabin leather. But no Monster Munch? £1400 VEHICLE TRACKING SYSTEM Oi, if any snivelling, evil car thieves are reading this: this car could be tracked to the far side of the moon. So don’t even bloody think about trying to half-inch it. £4825 STORM…