Table of contents for 9/25/2019 in Move!

WHAT an awful few weeks this has been for the women of SA. Day after day we’ve been hearing more horror stories following Uyinene Mrwetyana’s devastating death, allegedly at the hands of a Post Office worker. Move! wants to play a role in changing the state of things. We’ll feature people and organisations who are doing good work in the fight against violence against women and children (page 20) and give you advice on what to do to stay safe. ■ Watch out for Thulani Gqirana’s editor’s note from our next issue. She’ll be connecting with you here every week, overseeing Move! to keep it the magazine you love most. Let her know your thoughts: move@media24.com. THE MOVE! TEAM STOP XENOPHOBIA I can easily relate this to the current xenophobic…

Here at Move! we are big fans of stokvels. It is a great way to meet new people or bond with old friends. It is good for having networks and building communities who can support us when we need it most. But most importantly, stokvels help us to improve our lives and achieve our goals. We would love to hear from you if you are part of a stokvel so you can feature in our stokvel pages (see page 6). We need to know more about your stokvel, how you formed, when you meet, what your rules are and more interesting facts about your club. We also need pictures of the stokvel, preferably in your uniform, if you have one. We would love to hear from you. Send your information…

HE’S one of the busiest celebrities in South Africa right now. He’s a radio presenter, a TV host and an actor. He’s also busy preparing to rock the show as the MC of the Feather Awards later in the year and has recently been named an ambassador for Telkom. He’s just bought his dream car, a Jeep Wrangler, and his dream house in the suburbs. To top it all off, he’s just gotten engaged to the love of his life, Phelo Bala. It’s been a great year for Moshe Ndiki and it’s not even done yet. LIVING HIS BEST LIFE The star has come a long way since making YouTube videos about drinking cheap wine on his own. He is the lively host of Uyang’thanda Na? on Mzansi Magic and…

IT’S the one night of the year where comedians, friends and fans of comedy come together to see who’s the funniest in the land. But our local funny guys also showed off their fashionable sides at this year’s Savanna Comics’ Choice Awards at the Lyric Theatre in Johannesburg earlier this month. The topic for the live show was “Funny Money”, which is an original musical production about a young hero who comes to Joburg to realise his dream of becoming a comedian. He navigates the crazy world of clubs and corporates, managers and agents – all in pursuit of funny money.…

IT HAD been a lifelong dream of hers. To have children of her own at a young age and watch them grow up. But it wasn’t meant to be. Mangayamma Yaramati and her husband, Sitarama Rajarao, tried to have a child for 57 years without success. Now, their dreams have finally come true. Mangayamma shocked the world when she gave birth to twins, at the age of 74. She and her 82-year-old husband from Andhra Pradesh in southeastern India welcomed twin girls earlier this month. It’s taken years, but they’ve finally done it – with the help of modern medicine. And in the process, Mangayamma reportedly become the oldest person to give birth. But a day before the twins’ arrival, her husband had a stroke, leading to questions about how…

Q SHOULD I USE ANTIPERSPIRANT OR DEODORANT? A It all depends on what your needs are. Both work to fight bacteria and prevent odours but deodorants are made to keep your underarms smelling fresh, and antiperspirants also block sweat glands, which helps control how much you sweat. So if the weather is mild and you know you’re going to have a relaxed day, go for a deodorant. But if you’re worried about sweating because it’s hot and you’re out and about, then an antiperspirant is your best bet.…

‘MY EX-WIFE HAS NOT BEEN PAYING THE SCHOOL FEES’ Q WHO INHERITS HIS ESTATE? I was engaged to a man who sadly died two weeks before our wedding. We don’t have children together and he also didn’t have kids with anyone else. We lived together for eight years. His parents are long gone from what I know, and he has only one sister from his father’s side of the family. He left behind a town house and two cars but never drew up a will. Who will now inherit this? ANONYMOUS, ROODEPOORT A The deceased didn’t have a spouse, children or parents. The next people to inherit under these circumstances are siblings. So in this case, the surviving sister is the only person entitled to inherit his things as she…

‘I’M MARRIED TO A WOMAN WHO DOESN’T HAVE A ROMANTIC BONE’ Q MORE LIKE A BROTHER THAN A LOVER I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 10 years. The relationship has become dull to the point where I feel like I might as well be living with my brother! How do we bring back the spark we once had? WORRIED, EMAIL A A relationship is like a living organism. If you neglect it and don’t put in regular work, it will die a natural death. You need to dedicate more time and effort towards your relationship and intimacy. Give it more of a priority in your life. Raise the concern with your partner and talk about it openly and calmly. Discuss reasons why you both think the intimacy…

I love my man with all my heart and I don’t plan on leaving him. The only thing troubling in our relationship is black tax. He has to provide for me, our children and his family back at home. He has a lot of debt after taking out loans to support everyone. On top of that his mother has high expectations as he is the eldest. He struggles to say no to her and is already trying to find a way to build her a house. His sisters are comfortable and aren’t looking for any work although they are graduates. When I tell my partner to limit what he’s doing for the family, he becomes angry and says I don’t like his family. We stay together with our two children…

There’s no clear answer to this question, as it depends on a variety of factors and comes down to what a couple wants. It could be anything from a small beach wedding with just a few friends and family to an extravaganza of a reception with huge flower arrangements on every table and 120 guests. So every couple’s budget will be different. It’s all about how much you need to spend to get what you want. Here’s a general guide to how wedding costs are allocated, according to the wedding planning website theknot.com: 50% for the venue, including hire costs, food and alcohol 30% for the cake, photography, music, flowers and décor 10% for wedding attire and accessories 5% for invitations and table gifts 5% for miscellaneous or unforeseen costs…

SHE saw her mother becoming less and less social. She couldn’t go to funerals, weddings or family parties. She became homebound – all because she had a special needs child. So Megan Sithole decided to do something about it – not just to help her mother, but also other moms who might be going through the same thing. She opened a business specialising in babysitting children with disabilities. Her five-year-old brother was diagnosed with autism a few years ago, and that’s when Megan’s mom’s life changed. “She couldn’t go anywhere, basically. So sometimes we took turns and she went where she needed to go while I looked after my brother, and other times I went out while she was at home with my brother,” Megan says. This bothered the 23-year-old…

Do’s ■ Encourage your child to speak their mother tongue regularly. ■ Expose your kids to books and various media in indigenous languages. ■ Help them understand the importance of speaking their mother language by giving relevant examples of its benefits. ■ Allow them to explore and understand the importance of culture by sharing special stories about their family values and traditions. ■ Talk to teachers and the head of schools about their language policies to find out how they can make the syllabus more inclusive. Some teachers might be open to discussions or projects about languages during class. Don’ts ■ Never create the impression a child’s mother language or culture is inferior. ■ Don’t let them rule the roost when it comes to language. You can speak in your…

Don’t give out private information, such as your ID number, physical address and banking details to strangers. If you decide to meet, do so in a public place. Also, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts. Don’t assume that the person is who they say they are. It’s easy to pretend or provide false information over the phone or online. DISCLAIMER Move! magazine will not be held responsible/ liable for anything that may arise with regard to readers providing each other with personal information. We advise participants to protect themselves from any criminal intent/ activity.…

READY to finish this year on a high note? We’ve been travelling around South Africa and now our much-loved event is heading to Mbombela. It’s your turn to treat yourself and be a part of the Move! Stokvel magic. We all need that extra helping hand and what’s better than sharing in the success? Let’s be inspired, network and gain new ideas for a fruitful year ahead. You’ll get to enjoy all the motivational speakers while having lunch and refreshments – and you’ll even leave with a fab goodie bag. Here’s to you. Here’s to reaching your goals! See you there, Mbombela ladies.…

MAQ has received a seal of approval from the National Stokvel Association of South Africa (NASASA) – a self-regulatory organisation mandated by the Reserve Bank to represent the interests of the stokvelsector. It has a membership of 125 000 groups nationally, which adds up to 2,5 million people. The group partnered with MAQ, and members exclusively add MAQ household cleaners to their shopping lists – thanks to the excellent cleaning performance at an affordable price. MAQ Dishwashing Liquid The best-performing* dishwashing liquid has a concentrated high-foam formulation which includes the degreasing power of active lemon to remove grease and leave pots, crockery and glassware shiny clean. *VS THE BEST-SELLING DISHWASHING LIQUID MAQ Hand Washing Powder Has a high-active formula so it’s super strong and foamy. It works hard on tough…

THE past few weeks have been hard on her. The deaths of student Uyinene Mrwetyana, SA boxing champ Leighandre Jegels and several others brutally killed by men have brought back painful memories. Cici knows what it’s like to feel alone, terrified and violated. She’s been in and out of court for two years, seeking justice against her ex who allegedly dragged her down the road while behind the wheel of his car. Arthur Mafokate was acquitted on the assault charges she brought against him – but Cici, real name Busisiwe Thwala, isn’t backing down. The R&B singer now plans to sue. SEEKING JUSTICE “I don’t want to sound like a bitter ex, I just want justice,” Cici tells Move!. According to reports, the Midrand magistrate’s court found there was no…

WHEN she walks into the Move! offices, the first thing she mentions is that her eyeliner needs a bit of sharpening. She searches around for a sharpener and after unsuccessfully digging around and coming up empty, she just goes ahead and uses her eyeliner as blunt as it is. That’s how she lives her life, Spha Mdlalose (30) says. She prides herself on making things happen, using only what she has at her disposal. She recently released her debut solo album entitled Indlel’eyekhaya, where she showcases her composition and arrangement capabilities. Move! catches up with the singer. IN THE SPOTLIGHT She’s in a yellow dress worthy of Beyoncé’s Lemonade album. Sticking to the theme brought on by the dress, she makes a music request before the shoot starts. “Can you…

NIGHT Tip To add complete brown your bangles exotic and leopard colourful -print nails look . DAY Tip Finish funky off ponytail your casual and bright day look lipstick with . a STOCKISTS COLETTE BY COLETTE HAY-MAN 021-937-5143; COTTON ON 0800-988-824; EDGARS 0800-203-925; MRP 0800-21-25-35; SISSY BOY 021-506-4600; TRUWORTHS 021-460-2300; WOOLWORTHS 0860-022-002 WE MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO PROVIDE ACCURATE PRICES BUT MISTAKES MAY OCCUR. MOVE! AND THE SUPPLIERS DO NOT BIND THEMSELVES TO THE PRICES PRINTED HERE. Do you have a query regarding wardrobe styling or need advice on fashion? Let our fashion editor Peta-Lee help you. Send your questions to move@media24.com or write to Move! PO Box 784072, Sandton 2146…

PLUM CRUMBLE MAKES 8 TARTLETS PREPARATION: 10 MIN CHILLING: 30 MIN COOKING: 15 MIN BAKING: 40-45 MIN CRUST ■ 150g butter ■ 125ml (½c) sugar ■ 5ml (1t) vanilla essence ■ pinch of salt ■ 430ml (1¾c) cake flour FILLING ■ 1kg plums ■ 100g sugar ■ zest and juice of 1 lemon TO FINISH Ice cream to serve Preheat the oven to 180°C. Grease eight tartlet tins with nonstick spray. 1 Crust Using an electric beater, beat the butter, sugar, vanilla essence and salt until smooth. Add the flour and beat until the mixture starts to form a firm dough. Shape into a ball, cover with clingfilm and chill for 30 minutes. 2 Press the dough onto the bottom and up the sides of the tartlet tins. Prick with…

LIBRA (23 SEP – 22 OCT) It could be a somewhat unpleasant week. Focus on what’s needed to achieve peace of mind. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 6, 17, 30, 40, 44, 48 SCORPIO (23 OCT – 21 NOV) It’s a great time to delve deep if you want to explore your inner world. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 3, 15, 19, 36, 38, 52 SAGITTARIUS (22 NOV – 20 DEC) It’s a week that may require a bit more stinginess, lest you feel the pinch. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 7, 13, 16, 23, 34, 50 CAPRICORN (21 DEC – 20 JAN) Relationships can be challenging this week. You’ll get entangled in power struggles. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 1, 3, 9, 26, 34, 51 AQUARIUS (21 JAN – 18 FEB) It’s a week to broaden your…

Mandisa Muruge, a counsellor at The Family Life Centre’s Lenasia office, says: “A lot of parents try to impose their own dreams on their children. I presume that being a teacher was your mother’s dream and that she worked hard towards achieving this. “She is your mother, she brought you into this world but she must realise that you have your own dreams that are different from hers. You have your own goals that you want to achieve and those goals are different from hers. She needs to let you go after your dreams, to explore your dreams. That way you will enjoy your life. Otherwise, you might feel trapped living her dreams and life and you will be miserable. “Telling your mother what you want to do with your…

MPENDULO NCUBUKEZI I dated a beautiful woman for three years. She left me because I was taking care of my family. It was good that she left because I have since used the money I would have supported her with to start my own business. JACKY MOKHOBI I’m still supporting my family back home and black tax has really affected my previous relationships. That’s the reason I’m single at the moment. I couldn’t leave my folks and siblings struggling while I’m having a good life. MALAKE KGALAKE In the past, parents only had to worry about helping the first born. He would help the next sibling in line, who would in turn help the next until everyone was sorted. Now it’s everyone for himself. We even gave helping our family…

THE world is evolving and so are the challenges of life. People’s hunger for restoration has increased. It has become one of the biggest spiritual needs, which can be provoked by spiritual disobedience or economic climate, and it is a true test of our time. WHAT IS RESTORATION? The dictionary meaning of restoration is “to return something back to its original condition”. The Biblical meaning is to receive back more than has been lost so that the end result is even greater than the original circumstance. The key point of restoration is that someone or something is enriched beyond measure and its former glory. Biblically, the term has greater connotations that go beyond the typical everyday use. In many instances throughout the Bible, God blesses people for their faith and…

1 What did you write in the last note you left for your partner? A You’re late! Dinner’s ruined! I’ve gone out! B Don’t forget to buy a loaf of bread. C I love you. 2 Where would you choose as your ideal place to seduce your guy? A In the bedroom. B On a deserted beach. C On a rug in front of an open fire. 3 It’s time to replace your old bed. Which one of these would you consider buying? A Two single beds, so you can sleep undisturbed. B A romantic four-poster. C A therapeutic bed that will be comfortable for your bad back. 4 Would you consider surprising your guy during the day, while he’s at work,by calling him for phone sex? A No, you’d…

INFORMATIVE and classy is how the organisers describe the Queens and Princesses Empowerment event. Held at the Premier Hotel, The Richards, in Richards Bay, the heels and hats-themed function included an address by uMhlathuze deputy mayor Dudu Sibiya. She addressed the attendees on the importance of women’s responsibilities to nurture families. Other guest speakers offered their thoughts on entrepreneurship, wellness, law and marriage.…

■ Avon Justine’s Nomvula Mazibuko will introduce the speakers on the day and share how you can become an independent Avon Justine representative and earn extra money. ■ Ratna Siriah, business head for Zee World, will be speaking about the new series Mehek – a world first for an Indian series to feature an African cast. Zee World is invested in local talent and bringing the best of Bollywood series. ■ Apostle Negross Manana will open the event with a prayer and sermon to start your day. ■ Motivational speaker Pastor Sols Memoka will close the event with a motivation. ■ Legendary gospel artist Sipho Makhabane and Mpumalanga Praise Choir will entertain you with gospel songs.…

WHAT WORKS The monthly meetings are very important in that the women are able to discuss and make collective decisions on issues. Although they are doing great now, there had to be some adjustments and challenges fought to get here. Initially, there were 17 members, but others had to be let go for not following the rules of the stokvel. “We do have misunderstandings now but it is things we easily talk about and work through,” says Thoko Ngazi of Siyajongana Stokvel. “These meetings keep in check. We revise our policy, make sure whatever we doing is in line with our mandate. “Most importantly, respect for each other is the pillar of our stokvel,” Thoko says. Everyone in the stokvel is given an opportunity to voice out their opinion. By doing…

SHE’D never been so excited about being sick. It confirmed something she’d been praying and waiting for: she was pregnant. It seems like Mmatema Gavu is growing up right in front of Mzansi’s eyes. She first stole the hearts of millions when she burst on to the scene as a fresh faced 22-year-old Idols SA hopeful. After making it into the finals, she became a regular on local screens. Four years after her powerful voice wowed fans with her rendition of Tina Turner, Adele and Whitney Houston songs, Mmatema got married to the love of her life, Tshepo Gavu, and is now expecting their first child. “It is a boy,” the mom-to-be tells Move!. The couple are quite excited about the prospect of being parents. She first broke the news…

UYINENE Mrwetyana. Janika Mallo. Lynette Volschenk. Leighandre Jagels. Jesse Hess. Their names have become ingrained in our minds in recent weeks. Their stories are painful to read, difficult to process and impossible to understand. Janika’s half-naked body was found in her grandmother’s backyard. She was raped, bashed with a concrete block over her head and left to bleed to death. She was just 14. Lynette was murdered in her flat, allegedly by a neighbour. Her body was sawed into pieces and dumped in black bags. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH Leighandre was shot in cold blood by her estranged police officer boyfriend. Jesse was murdered in the home she shared with her 85-year-old grandfather. Police suspect she was raped. South Africans became increasingly horrified and 19-year-old Uyinene’s death seemed to be the…

THERE are so many things to remind you that you are HIV-positive. Every time you take your medication. Every time you have to go to the clinic. Every time you or your partner has to put on a condom to protect against infection or reinfection. Such reminders might come along with resentment, regret, anger and open wounds for you. These emotions may get you down and you may end up not fully enjoying life. It’s important that each time you are reminded that you’re living with HIV, you acknowledge those feelings but don’t let them dampen your spirit for too long. RESENTMENT AND REGRET ‘WE ARE CAPABLE OF TRIUMPHING OVER THE PAST’ Regret and resentment stem from having done something in the past that you aren’t proud of. While it’s…

‘THE THINGS I HEAR ABOUT MARRIAGE MAKE ME AFRAID.’ A HE WANTS A SECOND WIFE I’ve been married to my husband for 13 years and we have two children together. Recently he told me that he wants to take a second wife. He says it will prevent him from cheating on me. I told him there’s no way I can agree to it but he doesn’t listen to me. How do I get him to bury this bad idea? ANONYMOUS, EMAIL A Your husband came to you and told you what he wants. His intentions are clear and he has been honest with you. It sounds as if he has already made up his mind. You can move on from trying to change his mind and admit the reality. Your…

GARLIC Allicin is the compound that gives this bulb its distinctive smell and many health benefits. It combats colds and has been shown to reduce high blood pressure. According to a study by the Postgraduate Institute of Medical Education and Research in India, regular doses of aged garlic extract were found to be just as effective in reducing blood pressure as prescribed medication. Another study found garlic lowered levels of LDL (bad) cholesterol by up to 15 %. HOW TO USE IT Eat one or two fresh cloves daily. You can add it to food or make sure you get a good dose by swallowing it whole. Avoid garlic breath by simply chopping up a clove and swallowing the pieces with water as you would a pill – no need…

Looking for a way to get a grip on your budget and create a savings plan? Well, there’s an app for that. Personal finance apps are handy, effective ways to improve your budgeting skills, track your spending and they can also help you save, whether your goal is longterm or short-term. Here are a few worth looking at: MINT This is a web-based money-managing app you can use on your PC or on your smartphone. You can see what you’re spending, stay on top of savings and track your bills. MONEYSMART This app shows you how much you can spend daily after your fixed expenses (including savings) are taken care of. If you overspend, the app will recalculate your daily spending to make sure you reach the end of the…

Numerous studies have shown that learning a second language when you’re young boosts brainpower and so gives kids an educational advantage. Recent research from the University of Washington in Seattle found that just growing up in a home where they’re listening to more than one language being spoken can improve a child’s problem-solving skills and memory. It’s been shown that kids who learn a second language from an early age tend to: ■ Score higher on average in tests involving creative thinking and problem-solving ■ Learn to read more easily ■ Develop stronger overall skills in their first as well as their second language ■ Are better able to focus on mental tasks.…

LOOKING FOR LOVE I am looking for a single, black man aged between 35 and 43. He must reside in Krugersdorp, Soweto, Westonaria or surrounding areas and must be looking for a relationship. He must be a non-smoker, God-fearing and God-loving. He must also be willing to go for an HIV test with me. Only single, black men should reply. If you meet the above requirements and you are interested please call me on: 073-241-1812 I am a 32-year-old tall, dark male and a father of one who is looking for a lady who will bring joy to my life. Someone who knows the true meaning of love, who knows what she really wants in life and someone I can call my own! She must know I am not perfect…