Table of contents for 12/4/2019 in Move!

THERE’S something about this time of the year. We are all running around like headless chickens trying to clear to-do lists and meet targets before the year-end break. Yet there’s a certain magic amid the mad rush. It’s called the festive feels – and you know it’s hit when the idea of drawing your loved ones close and wrapping them in layers of love fills you with joy. It’s all about getting ready to create memorable moments. And that’s why we are so happy to share the sweet story of Hector Mkansi and Nonhlanhla Soldaat (page xx). The pair became known as the “KFC couple” after a video of Hector’s proposal took social media by storm. Thanks to the kindness of strangers, who donated everything they need, the lucky lovebirds…

GOOD RECORD-KEEPING At each monthly meeting, Masibambane Stokvel Club expects thousands of rands to be collected. To reduce the risk of being victims of crime, members are required to make electronic deposits into the stokvel’s bank account at least two days before the meeting. They then bring along their proofs of payment to the meeting and this is captured in a logbook. They have found the logbook to be a crucial tool in tracking the club’s expenses. If you want your stokvel to be featured in Move!, send us your contact details and a picture of your stokvel members to: move@media24.com…

THE red carpet was rolled out as the kings and queens of Mzansi’s entertainment scene came to celebrate the start of this year’s Joburg Film Festival. Recently hosted at Nelson Mandela Square in Sandton, the festival’s kick-off was fabulous. Actress Nomzamo Mbatha, who’s visiting Mzansi after moving to the US, was one of the special guests. More than 60 films and documentaries were screened.…

According to the department of labour, if you get injured, contract a disease or die at work, you or your dependents can claim from the workers’Compensation Fund. The fund pays compensation to permanent and casual workers, trainees and apprentices who are injured or contract a disease in the course of their work and lose income as a result. But there are exclusions, including: ■ Domestic workers in private homes; ■ Members of the South African National Defence Force and SAPS (they have their own fund); and ■ Sub-contractors.…

1 Trevor Noah recently made history as the first African comedian to sell out . . .? A Staples Centre B FNB Stadium C Madison Square Garden D Royal Albert Hall 2 The Mexican snack carnitas is usually made with . . .? A Beef B Pork C Chicken D Mutton 3 How many sides does a pentagon have? A 4 B 5 C 6 D 8 4 Which app has disabled the “likes” count for posts in seven countries? A Facebook B Instagram C Twitter D Snapchat 5 The new . . . beach promenade is the longest in sub-Saharan Africa? A Dakar B Accra C Abidjan D Durban 6 In South Korea, the emergency number 113 is for reporting . . .? A Crime B Spies C Fire…

EVERY year on 1 December, communities all over the globe commemorate World Aids Day. We remember those who have passed on due to HIV/Aids and bring awareness to those living with the disease. Despite tangible strides towards HIV education, access to medication, breaking the stigma and other preventative measures, it would be a grave mistake to assume we can take our foot off the pedal. World Aids Day is crucial to bring our focus back onto the issue. THE DAY ‘WE MUST TAKE IT UPON OURSELVES TO PREVENT HIV’ The national themes generally differ from nation to nation, but they all fall in line with the global theme. This theme is determined by progress made towards achieving the HIV/Aids eradication goal. Since countries are on different levels of development, each…

SAGITTARIUS 22 NOV – 20 DEC Mercury moves into your sign this week, so it’s a great time to rub shoulders with others. Opportunities might present themselves – whether you expand your circle, need a buddy for an adventure, wish for a mate or grow your profession. You shouldn’t have a problem making acquaintances. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 1, 30, 17, 20, 48, 39 CAPRICORN 21 DEC – 20 JAN While sober habits could be saving you money, pessimism combined with overdoing caution may lead to missed opportunities. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 41, 18, 23, 1, 51, 21 AQUARIUS 21 JAN – 18 FEB Since it’s aweek to be part of a group, you may want to join a humanitarian organisation. Sharing your knowledge may go a long way to make a…

Lufuno Raphalalani, a social worker based in Norwood, Johannesburg, says: “I sense you feel left out, which is normal. You’re worried about living the single life alone and scared you are going to be replaced by your bestie’s new guy. It’s important you understand your best friend’s world has changed. Acknowledge that things will not be the same again and communicate with your friend about your feelings. Express some of your worries but show your support for the new relationship and keep the lines of communication open. I’d also suggest you give her some space to adjust and explore this new phase in her life. Use this opportunity to get to know other people. Your friend probably won’t mind you branching out. In fact, she’ll probably appreciate that you want…

Putting a condom on incorrectly can defeat its purpose. You can help your man with these steps: ■ Open the packaging carefully, especially if you have long nails. Hold the tip of the condom between your forefinger and thumb to make sure no air is trapped inside. ■ Place the condom over the tip of the penis while still squeezing the tip of the condom. ■ Roll it down the length of the erect penis. If it won’t unroll, it could be inside out. Start again with a fresh condom. ■ After ejaculation and while the penis is still erect, hold the condom in place and carefully withdraw the penis from your partner’s body. ■ Wrap the used condom in a tissue and put it in a bin, not the…

YOU’RE trying to lose a few kilos but your hard work isn’t paying off as well as you’d expected. Or you’re not sure you should even bother trying because you know from previous experience just how difficult it is to shake that excess weight. But don’t be too quick to give up or be discouraged from trying again. You might just have fallen for one of nine diet mistakes that tend to derail weight loss. 1 YOUR GOAL IS TOO CONSERVATIVE You want to shed 7kg so you decide to set a goal of losing 3kg to start with as it seems more manageable. But that could backfire. Researchers now say you’re more likely to be successful when you aim for the whole amount from the get-go. “Your goal should…

■ Co-parenting is very important, even if you’re no longer with the child’s mother. It means the mother and father raise the child as a team, with both taking equal responsibility. ■ Being an absent father may result in your child feeling emotionally neglected and abandoned. As a father you need to be there to ensure your child is emotionally stable and fulfilled. ■ It’s necessary for a child to have a reliable male role model, which helps to build their sense of self. Being a good male role model remains the father’s responsibility and no one else’s. ■ Children learn from observing and listening, and both parents should be part of this. ■ Being there financially isn’t the only reason a child needs a father. You also need to…

WHEN you think of a bookstore, a space packed with shelf upon shelf of books is probably what comes to mind. But that’s not the case for Asanda Khathi who is revolutionising how many South Africans and Africans read. The 23 year old has created an online story reading platform called Ubuntu Bookstore. “The idea came about as I realised most people would rather spend time on their phones these days than go out to the library or a bookstore,” she tells Move!. Asanda is passionate about stories from African people being told and wants them to be easily accessible. “A lot of talented writers I know, young and old, want to write a book to share their knowledge and stories, but getting a book published and in the hands…

1 You and your partner settle down to a meal he’s made on a date night in. What is the standard of his cooking skills? A What hasn’t stuck to the pan or been burnt is totally inedible. B His recipes are limited but he tries hard and does well. C He could be a top chef if he wanted to. 2 Once your guy has moved in, what if he expects you to wash and iron his clothes? As well as pack in his lunch for work? What would be your reaction? A Ask him if he doesn’t know how to do all of those things and offer to teach him. B Agree to do it. You have to do yours anyway. It’s really no trouble. C Refuse and…

Don’t give out private information, such as your ID number, physical address and banking details to strangers. If you decide to meet, do so in a public place. Also, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts. Don’t assume that the person is who they say they are. It’s easy to pretend or provide false information over the phone or online. DISCLAIMER: Move! magazine will not be held responsible/liable for anything that may arise with regard to readers providing each other with personal information. We advise participants to protect themselves from any criminal intent/activity.…

I WROTE this poem 23 years after I had been raped. I had buried the painful memories in what I called “the graveyard of my soul” as I pursued my studies and my dreams against all odds. The poem describes the hideous, brutal violation I endured at the age of 15 when raped by someone in my church. MY POEM You chose to rape me in a toilet. The smallest room to enlarge your ego. You chose to take me in my sleep to feed your ego with my vulnerability and my virginity. You bashed my head repeatedly. 1,2,3 and again 1,2,3. I lost count as you frantically lost your rhythm. The hard, cold tiles I no longer felt. But, oh!, the pain as you rattled my brain. My twisted…

Following Samthing Soweto’s performance at the Idols SA finale, many viewers expressed their disappointment on social media. The singer later addressed his fans in a video and apologised. Move! readers have their say. You are forgiven. A live performance shouldn’t be your low point because you conquered with The Soil more than a decade ago. You are still loved. JUDAS MALEPE Even his performance at Ukhozi FM’s Music Expo was bad. THOBIE LAMLY LINDA They all do that – come here with their fake apologies. Remember Mlindo [The Vocalist] did the same last season? MLWELI KA ZANDILE NDZIMA It must be the money excitement. His body was there but his mind was on his bank account. TLOKOTSI KUALI Shame, he was tired. These people always have gigs, they don’t sleep.…

SHE thought she knew her character inside out. But nothing could prepare Motsoaledi Setumo for how Mmabatho’s dramatic storyline is unfolding in Mzansi Magic’s hit telenovela The Queen. Mmabatho has recently found out that her beloved mother, whom she thought died in a taxi crash, was killed by a car bomb planted by her now-dead husband, Shaka Khoza (played by SK Khoza). Angry at him for killing her mother and furious that he’s no longer around to answer for his sins, she refuses to mourn Shaka. She does not want to claim a stake in his estate and wants nothing to do with the funeral arrangements, insisting she won’t even sit on the mourning mattress. “I was shocked when I saw the direction the script was taking,” Motsoaledi (28) tells…

■ Grade 4 (9-10 years) Group discussion about which of your body parts are private and shouldn’t be shared with others. ■ Grade 5 (10-11 years) One lesson plan example circulated by Freedom of Religion SA (For SA), features a fictional case study of a boy named Max, who’s being sexually harassed by a group of boys. ■ Grade 6 (11-12 years) A situation is presented of a group of girls who are considering sharing a topless pic of another girl on Whats-App, in an example shared by For SA. The department says the aim of this lesson plan is to drive home why cyberbullying is wrong. ■ Grade 7 (12-13 years) Lesson plans include a list of questions pupils might have about topics like kissing, going on dates, masturbation…

HER funky golden blonde hair shines in the sunlight, matching Pinky Tiro’s healthy glow. With a warm smile the Aids activist and community builder welcomes us to her new home in Florida, Joburg, where she and her family settled earlier this year. “Welcome to my home. I know it is a bit quiet here, but I must say it is peaceful. I am still getting used to it,” she remarks. The suburban home is very different from Meadowlands, Soweto, where she lived for over three decades, operating a tavern with her husband. It’s been 30 years since Pinky was diagnosed as HIV-positive and it’s something she celebrates daily. “There was a time I was made to think that I would die,” she tells Move! “Doctors told me I had 30…

TIME TO GO HOME A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders another one. This goes on for at least 90 minutes. Bursting with curiosity, the bartender finally says, “I know it’s none of my business but I have to ask. Why the whole drink-look-in-pocket-cringe-and-order-another-one routine?” “Well,” the man slurs, “there’s a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, it’s time for me to go home.” WOMEN VS MEN ■ Question Why do men like smart women? Answer Because opposites attract. ■ Question Why do men need instant replay on…

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Q FAMILY LEAVES CHILD WITH NOTHING I’ve been helping in my community. There’s a father who passed away, but before he died he built rooms to rent on his property and used the rent money to support his child. Now the brother and sister of the late father collect the rent and they don’t help the child. What can we do? ANONYMOUS, EMAIL A You must report this matter to the social workers who can help to find the child’s mother. Once the mother has been found, she must approach the master of the high court to report the father’s death for a letter of authority or executor to be issued. The family of the deceased have a legal duty to report his death to the master of the high…

‘I’M PREGNANT WITH A CHILD I’M NOT READY TO HAVE’ Q HOW DO IHELP HER? My friend is 54 years old. Whenever I visit her recently, she is so sad. She often just sits and cries and cries. Even while making my tea, she cries. When I ask what is wrong, she says she doesn’t know. She says she’s just not happy, but she isn’t sure what is causing her to feel this way. Is this normal and how can I help her? ANONYMOUS, EMAIL A The feeling of unexplained sadness for a period longer than two weeks is one of the symptoms of depression. However, a person must present with other symptoms before they can be diagnosed with depression. It is possible your friend is aware of what is…

‘I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND FOR 19 YEARS. I LOVE HIM BUT I’M NO LONGER INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX WITH HIM’ Q MY FANNY FARTS During sex, farting sounds come from my vagina. It was funny for me and my partner the first few times but now it is just embarrassing! Why does this happen to me? How can I stop it? EMBARRASSED, EMAIL A This is called queefing and it is a normal sexual phenomenon. It’s caused by air being released after being trapped in the vagina during sex. When the air comes rushing out of the vagina, it creates a sound. Air gets trapped during most activities – from fingering to the use of toys and penile penetration. Positions like doggy style (when you’re on all…

WE HAD a very bitter lady as one of our recent clients. She dated this guy for over five years and they had two children. They lived together against the advice of her parents. She made much more money than him and they planned to wed. However, her family asked for a lot of money, which he clearly couldn’t afford. He’d been saving, but had only managed to scrape together R10 000, which was close to nothing compared to what was required. He asked her to take out a loan under her name, since he wouldn’t be approved for that amount, and he promised to service the loan back in installments. She did it, because she wanted to formalise their relationship and save him embarrassment in her family. The loan…

THE holidays are all about making happy memories, but it’s also a time when we’re frantically busy. There’s the rush of buying gifts, stocking up on groceries and preparing for year-end celebrations. It can be easy to lose track of your little one in a bustling mall during Christmas shopping, or at a crowded party. In a country where a child goes missing every five hours – and one in three are victims of sexual and other violent abuse – we should always keep a close eye on our kids. But this busy end-of-year period is when they need even more protecting, says Siliziwe Mbambo, a child protection programme social worker at the Saartjie Baartman Centre for Women and Children in Cape Town. Mbambo and Dorothea Gertse, also from the…

LOOKING FOR LOVE I’m a 30-year-old guy living in Pretoria. I’m looking for a good, well-mannered woman between the ages of 35 and 45. She must be from Gauteng. If interested please call me on: 079-763-7768 I’m a 31-year-old man from Rustenburg in the North West. I’m looking for a good woman aged between 26 and 30 from around the North West. If you are interested call me on: 076-257-2663 / 078-715-1029 I’m a 33-year-old lady and I’m looking for a Christian man between the ages of 35 and 45. I’m based in Gauteng. If you are interested please WhatsApp me on: 079-961-8859 My name is Karabo Maseko. I am 34-years-old and I am looking for someone aged between 30 and 55. If you are interested my number is 060-700-6446…

ALL she ever wanted was a life she could be proud of, with a partner who loved and respected her while they flew together to new heights. And for a while she seemed to have it all. Enhle Mbali Mlotshwa (31) looked like she was living her best life –she’d made a name for herself in TV, married the man of her dreams, branched out into business and is the proud mom of two beautiful boys. But behind the scenes it wasn’t always easy to hold things together while her husband, Black Coffee (43), travelled the world to chase his dreams. For years there was talk the popular DJ had cheated on the actress, but she didn’t entertain the rumours. She chose to stay silent to protect her family’s privacy.…

HE’S the music-maker behind big hits from AKA, Kwesta, KiD X and more – but becoming one of Mzansi’s top producers and artists was not an easy journey for Neo Makwa. The producer, DJ and musician (popularly known as Makwa) fought a hard, lonely battle to get his break in the music business. But he never stopped believing in himself – even when no one else did, not even his mother. “Honestly, I just love music,” he tells Move!. “I believe in working hard and I believed one day I would make it.” STARTING OUT Born and raised in Katlehong, east of Johannesburg, Makwa started producing music when he was still in high school. After completing matric he studied software development but dropped out during his first year to follow…

SHE remembers it as if it happened yesterday – that day almost seven years ago when her life changed forever. Sylvia Mahlangu’s phone rang and the moment she answered it, her blood ran cold. It was her mother Maria Mahlangu’s employer and she could hear from the tone of his voice that it was bad news. “Your mom fell into the pool and she died,” he said. Sylvia (then 24) knew exactly which pool he was talking about. It was the one at the house in Faerie Glen, Pretoria, where Maria (43) had worked for 22 years as a domestic worker. “I was so shocked I dropped the phone and they had to call again,” she recalls. Sylvia, an only child, was devastated. But on top of dealing with her…

t – teaspoon/s T – tablespoon/s c – cup/s CHERRY COCONUT BISCUITS MAKES 26 BISCUITS PREPARATION: 30 MIN CHILLING: 30 MIN BAKING: 12-15 MIN ■ 125g soft butter OR margarine ■ 180ml (¾c) light brown sugar ■ 1 egg ■ 5ml (1t) vanilla essence ■ 250ml (1c) desiccated coconut ■ 125ml (½c) desiccated coconut flakes ■ 250ml (1c) flour ■ 1ml (¼t) bicarbonate of soda ■ 1ml (¼t) baking powder ■ extra flour for sprinkling TO FINISH ■ 8-10 glacé cherries, cut into slivers (optional) Preheat the oven to 160°C. Line two large baking sheets with baking paper. 1 Put the butter or margarine and sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer and mix until creamy. 2 Add the egg and vanilla essence and mix until well combined. 3…

ITHUTENG MVELASE Do whatever you will be able to live with, honey. If you believe this guy is the one, go for it. If you have doubts, then don’t. Marriage is about building a life together. Just make a decision you will be able to live with whether things work out or not. NOMBULELO MLWANDLE Don’t vat-en-sit, go home. He’s blocking your view. Someone is out there ready to pay lobola for you and marry you. Continue to save your money for a real emergency – this is definitely not it. WENDY SITHOLE Think about whether you would encourage your daughter to pay lobola for herself. Go get married at home affairs and let the man make a plan to pay lobola and do all necessary traditional stuff for you…

JOINING a medical aid scheme is a big decision, especially if you’ve never been on one. Many people switch from public to private healthcare when they start a family or because they want a certain level of care, but joining a scheme can be costly. And there are more than just monthly premiums to consider. When choosing a scheme and specific plan you need to look at your health and that of relatives who’ll be dependents on the plan. Things to consider include when you plan to have kids, what chronic conditions you have, and how much you can afford to spend on healthcare. It’s important to ensure the plan you choose covers the health issues important to you and your loved ones. For example, a plan might cover visits…

SHE recently made it onto the top five of Apple Music’s most streamed local female artists. Gospel singer Lebo Sekgobela (38) is in good company – the list also includes Shekhinah, Lady Zamar, Simmy and Karen Zoid. Lebo says the award is a huge honour and the culmination of her hard work since she started singing in her early teens. She released her debut album, Ke Ngwana Hao, in 2013, but it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for the songstress. BLESSING IN DISGUISE Starting out, Lebo entered many singing competitions, including Coca-Cola Pop Stars in 2004. “I was just trying my luck – I didn’t really know how to dance and I’m not much into singing love songs.” Looking back she’s happy she didn’t win. “It happened according to…