Performance Vauxhall

You know what? I reckon that my mind has gone to pot since Dan left. I was even reminded the other day that, in the last issue, I missed mentioning the awesome 30 Years of Calibra display, laid on by the guys at Club Calibra. Now, while I realise that no one attends an event like PVS just so a muppet like me can write about it (because that would be pretty depressing), I've just got to give these guys props for what was one epic display, and a load of cars I'd actually give my front teeth to own. Especially the Calibra pickup - angle grinder-tastic! I'd love to blame someone else of course, but I'll have to put my big boy pants on and take this one on…

Midge Editor "What have I been up to this month? Forgetting more stuff probably." Julian Art Editor "Yes, you have, mostly doing any work. Stay out of that workshop!" Matty Road Test Ed "I almost forgot to take pictures of the Grandland, phew." Dougie Technical Ed "I never forget anything, especially Vauxhall tech stuff. Guru!" Sammy Contrib Ed "I do the PV Facebook, and they never let me forget, ever!" Dan H Hands-on Guru "I'm not gonna forget that Midge owes me a fiver. A bet is a bet!" Dan B Contributor "Hang on, he owes me a fiver too. Whyyyyy you little…" Jarkle Contributor "Ha, you both fell for the Midge fiver trick? Schoolboy error!" Young Kenny Advertising Bloke "It wasn't that long ago that I was at school……

Folks who grew up in the late-20th century invariably have a fond attachment to the movie Toy Story. Released in 1995, this was the first ever feature-length computer-animated movie, and it’s impressively stood the test of time by still being watchable today, rather than ageing badly into a CG mess like all those awful Dire Straits videos. Generally though, you’ll find that fans of the film are either on Team Woody or Team Buzz – some love the forthright, futuristic, forward-facing energy of Buzz Lightyear, while others favour the honest-to-goodness old-timey wholesomeness of Woody the cowboy. Not us, though. Here at PV, we tend to side with Mr Potato Head. Always have done. His very existence, both on and off the screen, serves up a keen metaphor for reinvention and…

It’s very popular in the modding scene to run Toyo R888s, but it’s also well worth considering the Avon ZZR, as Tom’s running here on his Corsa. This is a tyre designed with a tricky brief – the company wanted to offer a track tyre that was road-legal; not just that, but it had to be the fastest E-marked road-going race tyre in the world. No pressure on the design team, then! But the results are impressive, with the ZZR using tech found in GT, F3 and Formula Ford series with a full-race compound, while also being comparatively hard-wearing and not too scary in the wet. Plus they look pretty hardcore, and we like that.…

ENGINE A16LER 1.6-litre turbo, fully forged with PEC rods and pistons, RSS K04 turbo conversion with Dbilas manifold and downpipe, Milltek decat non-resonated exhaust, Airtec intercooler, 80mm MAF, AEM 80mm dry cone, RSS alloy radiator, RSS air-con delete, RSS 630cc injectors, NGK Platinum spark plugs, RSS high-flow fuel pump, Turbosmart recirculation valve, Turbosmart actuator, 3 bar map sensor, cool-running thermostat, HEL Performance oil cooler, RSS 240mm lightweight flywheel, RSS stage 3 clutch, M-Tech short shifter, Vibra-Technics engine and gearbox mounts POWER 299.8bhp, 282.4lb.ft CHASSIS 18-inch Nürburgring Edition wheels, 225/40 Avon ZZR tyres, OMP front upper strut brace, Enhance Performance rear strut brace, Brembo grooved front discs, EBC Yellow Stuff pads, HEL Performance braided lines INTERIOR Stock Nürburgring Edition (inc. Recaros and flat-bottomed wheel), Simoni Racing boost, oil temp and water…

For as long as cars have existed, people have wanted to muck about with them. Ever since mankind first started nailing together automobiles as an alternative to horses, plucky young daredevils have been uprating parts and getting up to mischief. Early hot-rodders blew off steam in the wake of various wars and military tours by getting together to share their skills in the pursuit of going faster; NASCAR evolved from the criminal element’s enthusiasm for building super-fast sleepers for bootlegging purposes – and it’s not all battlefields and moonshine. It’s a basic, ingrained human behaviour. We’re compelled to modify our cars because, well, we just have to. And there’s a whole weight of history behind this that we can happily blame for it. The ’80s and ‘90s were definitely the…