Table of contents for June 2017 in Reader's Digest

WE WERE FACING A 90-minute late-afternoon drive along a winding mountain road with our carsick-prone ten-year-old daughter, Rachel. Wanting things to go smoothly, my wife, Susan, and I took the Florence Nightingale route. “Here’s something, honey,” I said from the driver’s seat. It was industrial-grade Dramamine to help her not turn green. Within minutes, though, my exhaustion changed our plans. If you are a parent, you’ve been there: Four days of family car camping through California lava country had fried my wires. I decided to pull into the next campsite, and I sent Rachel and her younger brother, Neil, to play down by the stream. Grimly setting up, I realized I wasn’t hearing the kids, so I went to look. Rachel stood like a crumpling statue a few boulders north…

THEY MET AT A golf tournament in 2009. He was a New York restaurateur. She was a nail technician. Two years later, during a spring vacation in Florida, Louis Billittier Jr. proposed to Christa Clark with a whopper of an engagement ring—a 2.97-carat diamond worth $53,000. Clark said yes. They set the date for September 15, 2012. The couple lived together in Billittier’s Hamburg, New York, home as they prepped and planned for the wedding. Billittier paid for Clark’s cell phone and for her car and health insurance. In fact, according to the Buffalo News, he’d been generous throughout their relationship, taking her on trips and buying her a diamond necklace and diamond-and-sapphire earrings. But on July 1, 2012, with the wedding just two months away, Billittier broke it off.…

TEN YEARS AGO, I traveled to India with friends. On the last day there, I spent some time meeting with prostitutes. I expected to talk to them about the risk of AIDS, but they wanted to talk about stigma. Most of these women had been abandoned by their husbands, and that’s why they’d gone into prostitution. They were trying to make enough money to feed their kids. They were so low in the eyes of society that they could be raped and robbed and beaten by anybody—even by police—and nobody cared. Talking to them about their lives was so moving to me. But what I remember most is how much they wanted to touch me and be touched. It was as if physical contact somehow proved their worth. As I…

What are the most trusted brands in America? For the third year in a row, Reader’s Digest teamed up with research firm Ipsos Connect to find out. We asked more than 5,000 Americans which brands they trust the most in 40 categories. Here are the winners. For more information on them, go to rd.com/trustedbrands. Apple Mobile phone Bank of America Bank Campbell’s Soup Carnival Cruise line Claritin Allergy relief CVS Pharmacy Pharmacy/ drugstore Dasani Bottled water Dell Computer Dove Soap/body wash Fidelity Investment firm Folgers Coffee Ford Car Ford SUV/crossover Glade Air freshener/ deodorizer Hilton Hotel/resort Kellogg’s Cereal KitchenAid Small kitchen appliance Kraft Salad dressing Listerine Mouthwash L’Oréal Hair color Lysol Household cleaner McDonald’s Fast food/ casual dining MetLife Life insurance Nature Made Vitamin/herbal supplement Nature Valley Nutrition bar NIVEA…

EVERYTHING CHANGED when I was 11. When I was 11, I had a whiny southern twang that was much more annoying than the whiny southern twang that I am blessed with today. When I was 11, I was short and round, sans a waistline. I had unruly hair and thick bangs that curled under in the exact shape of a large-barrel curling iron. When I was 11, I was going through a terribly awkward and ugly phase, and I watched the popular, pretty girls whisper and snicker as I walked past them in the middle school hall. When I was 11, I was sure that I’d be loud and annoying and ugly and awkward for the rest of my life. When I was 11, my awkward bangs and chubby face…

A family is a collection of people who share the same genes but cannot agree on a place to pull over for lunch. Ed and I, plus his parents and sister Doris and eight-year-old niece Alisha, are on a road trip to Yosemite. Poppy wants Subway, Ed wants In-N-Out Burger, Mary wants Sonic. In the end, we compromise on McDonald’s, where Alisha will get an action figure that will come in handy later for breaking the heater vent of our rented minivan. It’s a three-hour drive to Yosemite, but we’re taking a little longer, as we’re working in a tour of Highway 80’s public restrooms. As the saying goes, “Not one bladder empties but another fills.” I am reminded of that track-and-field event wherein one person runs for a while…

GAME OF THRONES: Technically, the Arc?atheos Boys’ Camp near Calgary, Alberta, is designed to prod a boy’s “journey towards genuine manhood.” But the vehicle is decidedly medieval, complete with catapultlaunched water balloons, bows and arrows, and jousting, allhe day. A weeklong session is $429. EXPLOSIVES: “High school students gain hands-on experience with explosives: the first and only camp of its kind!” Gee, why is there only one Explosives Camp? Oh yeah, because most mothers don’t trust their kids to boil pasta, let alone blow things up! But that’s exactly what they learn at this Rolla, Missouri, getaway, which costs $1,450 for a week of “detonators, high explosives, and demolition.” Just for the record, applicants have to write an essay and need a teacher’s recommendation confirming that the prospective camper isn’t,…

There ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. MARK TWAIN Good thing most planes have TVs. Nothing’s worse than having to look out the window at Earth’s sacred majesty from the point of view of angels. @PHARMASEAN My wife takes 13 bikinis for a four-day beach trip. Meanwhile, I’m rocking the swimming trunks my mom bought at Kmart in 1991. @BIGHEB7 Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas; take your next trip in kilometers. GEORGE CARLIN Last year, complaints about airlines increased 22 percent. There were probably more complaints, but the airlines lost them. @CONANOBRIEN Fun tip: Instead of going on vacation with a baby, stand outside until you’re sunburned, then light $1,000 on fire. @JULIUSSHARPE…

1 Yes, that guinea pig or hamster is relatively inexpensive, but if you buy a $20 animal, we know you will probably spend another $100 on the cage or tank, grooming tools, food, bed, toys, and treats—plus you’ll be back every month to restock. 2 Animals pee and poop in our store all the time—that’s why all the products on our lower shelves are sealed in plastic! We don’t mind—as long as you tell us. You wouldn’t believe how many people let their pets make a mess and just keep walking. 3 It’s true: You may find lower prices for pet food in big-box stores or online (though beware of shipping fees that hike up the price). But most of us have great sales and loyalty programs, and many stores…

1. expedite ('ek-spuh-dite) v.— A: speed along. B: diversify. C: transport. 2. catalyst ('ka-tuh-lihst) n.— A: great leap. B: milestone. C: agent of change. 3. anabasis (uh-'na-buh-sis) n.— A: military advance. B: groundbreaking idea. C: executive decision. 4. fructify ('fruhk-tuh-fie) v.— A: branch out. B: skyrocket. C: bear fruit. 5. instigate ('in-stih-gayt) v.— A: incite. B: set goals. C: enact as law. 6. synergy ('sih-ner-jee) n.— A: enthusiasm for change. B: combined action. C: lack of drive. 7. watershed ('wah-ter-shed) n.— A: sudden loss. B: turning point. C: reserve of strength. 8. precipitately (prih-'sih-puhtayt- lee) adv.—A: very cautiously. B: sequentially. C: with reckless haste. 9. entrepreneur (ahn-truh-preh- 'nyoor) n.—A: gatekeeper. B: business starter. C: social climber. 10. stratagem ('stra-tuh-jem) n.— A: level of success. B: smooth move. C: clever plan.…

50 Everyday Mistakes and How to Fix Them For years, I have read my Reader’s Digest from first page to last, all in order. Your April issue shook up my routine. I got to page 4, and I was hooked by Marc Peyser’s editor’s letter, in which he admits to making several of the mistakes in “50 Everyday Mistakes.” I grabbed a pencil and hurriedly leafed to that story. I compared my numbers with Mr. Peyser’s. To save face for both of us, I am not disclosing the results. JO ANN CARMAN, Findlay, Ohio When Norah Met Mr. Dan What a wonderful story of a preciously outgoing little girl, a delightfully responsive older man, and a very thoughtful mother willing to take time to listen. Thank you for inspiring kindness…

Not in this situation. Most cases like this in New York—and nationwide, for that matter—require that the parties be restored “to their pre-engagement status by returning the engagement ring to its donor,” as Buscaglia noted in his verdict. But the justice ruled that Clark could keep the ring because of Billittier’s breakup text calling it a “parting ring.” Billittier’s subsequent texts threatening to take the ring back and asking Clark to give it back reinforced that the ring had, in fact, been a gift. And according to Buscaglia’s decision on March 31, 2014, “Once a gift is given, it is irrevocable.”…

You can never have too much fun with your kid: “When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic.” Comedian STEVEN WRIGHT Always set aside time for you and your angels: “Well, it’s one a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.” TV dad HOMER SIMPSON Might as well have a gaggle of kids: “The man with six kids will always be happier than the man with six million dollars because the man with six million dollars always wants more.” Attributed to author WILLIAM FEATHER Gush over every gift your child bestows upon you: “I have mixed emotions when I receive my Father’s Day gifts. I’m glad my children remember me; I’m…

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BREAK your back to create a yard that’s both beautiful and kind to Mother Nature. These environmentally smart ideas will turn your home turf into a little slice of Eden. Many will save you money too. 1 LET THE GRASS GROW Mowing less often, so your lawn gets a few inches longer than you’re accustomed to, will help it survive dry spells in warmer months. That’s because roots will grow deeper and lawns thicker, which means fewer pests, less disease, and a decreased need for chemical intervention. 2 GROW LOCAL Native plants are accustomed to their area’s growing conditions and so, once established, will generally require less water and have fewer pests and diseases than nonnative plants. Check with your local nursery to see which species…

Make Your Own Sports Drink Coconut water contains natural electrolytes, including potassium and sodium, which are critical to proper nerve and muscle function. Instead of grabbing a commercial sports drink that contains unnecessary sugar, calories, and artificial dyes, mix equal parts coconut water and fresh-squeezed juice (and a dash of raw honey, if you like it sweet) for an all-natural version. Freeze Fruity Pops Turn these summer treats into a refueling tool. Blend a hydrating fruit such as watermelon (which contains 91.5 percent water) with lemon juice (an excellent source of potassium). Add coconut water for an electrolyte boost and raw honey for a touch of sweetness, if you like. Then fill icepop molds and freeze for about an hour. Sip Some Summer Soup No one wants hot soup on…

▪ In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.” ▪ In a Nairobi restaurant: “Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.” ▪ On a Korean flight: “Upon arrival at Gimpo and Gimhae International Airport, please wear your clothes.” ▪ In a Hong Kong supermarket: “For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.” ▪ At a Budapest zoo: “Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.” ▪ In a Bangkok dry cleaner: “Drop your trousers here for best results.” ▪ On a highway sign in Kenya: “Take notice: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.” ▪ On a car-rental brochure in Tokyo: “When passenger of foot…

The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are derivative, trig jokes are too graphic, and algebra jokes are formulaic. But these jokes are guaranteed to multiply your enjoyment. ▪ What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter? A cow pi. ▪ Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive. ▪ What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A roamin’ numeral. ▪ Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing a river? It was three feet deep, on average. ▪ Old mathematicians never die. They just lose some of their functions. ▪ Why do teenagers travel in groups of three? Because they can’t even! ▪ Why should you never mention the…

The Marines have drill instructors, the Army has drill sergeants, and the Navy has chief petty officers. Whatever the name, they all specialize in making their recruits’ lives interesting. I WAS MOPPING the squad bay when the drill instructor ran in. He stopped short, stuck his hand into the bucket of sudsy water, took a taste, and barked “Needs more soap” before running off. MY D.I. PUT the whole “no such thing as a stupid question” thing perfectly. He told us, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question, but some questions come with push-ups.” A RECRUIT interrupted roll call to observe, “Chief, there’s a bunny rabbit behind you.” Chief, teeth gritted, responded, “Is it armed?” Source: reddit.com Your military anecdote might be worth $$$! For details, go to rd.com/submit.…

IT WAS A SCENE Norman Rockwell might have painted: three kids laughing as they took turns riding a scooter on their quiet street. Last December, on a crisp Saturday afternoon in Wichita Falls, Texas, 11-yearold TJ Smith had just jumped off the scooter as his neighbor Kim,* age 7, claimed her turn and her sister Julie,* 9, looked on. Kim straddled the scooter and paused to catch her breath. That was when the bearded man with a head of messy curls appeared. The kids didn’t see where he came from, but they know exactly what happened next: Without uttering a word, he picked Kim up off the scooter and calmly strode away. “He cradled her like a baby and just walked down the street,” says TJ. In fact, the composed…

WHAT I REGRET MOST in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly. GEORGE SAUNDERS, wri ter, in a graduation speech THE ONE THING you think you can do better than everyone else—go out and do that. The light shining out of your eyes should blind people. You should be on fire all the time. GARRETT OLIVER, brewmaster of Brooklyn Brewery, in Fast Company CHURCHES ARE GOOD for prayer, but so are garages and cars and mountains and showers and dance floors. ANNE LAMOTT, author, in her book Plan B WHY DO YOU GO AWAY? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new…

A PURR-FECT ANSWER As a kindergarten teacher, I work with students of different reading abilities. One day, I was helping a student who was struggling to learn the letter sounds. I used flash cards with letters and pictures to help. I showed him the letter s and a picture of a snake to emphasize the sound. Sss, snake. Next came the letter c. He couldn’t remember the sound, so I showed him a picture of a cat. When I asked him to tell me the sound of c, he looked puzzled and said, “Meow?” AIMEE ASHBY, McAllen, Texas PIANO WOMAN When I rescued a piano from an old house, I had not considered that I would need assistance moving it from the back of my pickup truck into my home.…

TRUST IS A RARE COMMODITY THESE DAYS, which is all the more reason to celebrate it. Forty years ago, Gallup began asking Americans which professions they consider to be the most honest and ethical. Health-care workers dominated the 2016 list—nurses have been number one for the past 15 years—but the top eight (listed here in order) include some surprises. To get a sense of why these professions have retained the public’s confidence, we asked individuals in these top-rated fields what they do to establish trust with the people they serve. Maybe the rest of us can learn from their examples. NURSES Rich Bluni Age: 49 Orlando, Florida I became a nurse because of my dad. He was diagnosed with cancer, and I just saw with my own eyes the people…

You leave the subject line blank. Or you fill it with Hey or FYI, which completely defeats the purpose of the subject line. Give people a hint. You type in color. You also think that Times New Roman is so yesterday and multiple font sizes are better than one. Save your creativity for another medium. Your signature is a mile long. It’s fine to introduce yourself, so include your name, your title, the company you work for, your phone number and e-mail address, and your website, if you have one. Skip social network links, chat handles, and quotes. You “reply all” all the time. Would you like to be notified about 15 different messages, 14 of which don’t apply to you? Unless everyone in that group e-mail really needs to…

SHARILENE ROWLAND wasn’t used to flying solo. She’d married young and had her first child when she was 25. But after she divorced and her two sons decamped from the nest, the 53-year-old caterer discovered that the only real social events she attended were the ones where she was hired to cook the food. She had maintained a few close friendships over the years, but the majority of her pals lived in other cities. Her typical evening went something like this: head home after work, make dinner, and … sit around. “I was in my 50s, single, and very lonely,” she says. Unfortunately, Rowland has plenty of company when it comes to the solitary life. Midlife is when strong ties become both most important to our health and most difficult…

TWO WEEKS AFTER I GRADUATED from medical school, I began my internship at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City. It was the summer of 2008. My first assignment was a monthlong rotation in the cardiac care unit. All the patients in the unit were on ventilators except one, a large Hispanic man named Benny* who was riding a stationary bicycle and watching Judge Judy in his room. He was in his 40s, stocky, barrel-chested, and broad-shouldered. Unlike other patients, he was not in a hospital gown; instead, he wore a New York Giants T-shirt and jeans. *Name has been changed to protect privacy. I discovered that Benny was living in the hospital, waiting for a heart transplant. He’d been in the same small room for months, rotating through…

AND OTHER DOCTORS 1 I eat eggs. “The science shows that a diet without cholesterol does not necessarily lower a person’s cholesterol. In fact, when the cholesterol in a food is high, it is often acting as an antioxidant. Eggs are a great food, full of satiating protein and essential fats.” CAROLYN DEAN, MD, ND, author of Atri a l Fibri l lation: Remineralize Your Heart 2 I get eight hours of sleep a night. “Poor sleep is linked to higher blood pressure, a risk factor for heart disease. I try to get to bed by 10 p.m. I don’t watch television right before bed, and I keep my room dark. I also never drink caffeine after 10 a.m., and I avoid alcohol on work nights.” JENNIFER HAYTHE, MD, cardiologist…

Lately all my friends are worried that they’re turning into their fathers. I’m worried that I’m not. DAN ZEVIN, author Somebody will say, “Remember when soand- so happened,” and I’ll say, “Jeez, I sure don’t.” DAVID LETTERMAN, comedian My grandmother always used to say, “If you’ve got a dollar, there’s plenty to share.” RIHANNA, musician Don’t laugh at other people. When you do, the people around you naturally wonder whether you sometimes laugh at them. JEFF HADEN, wri ter IF PEOPLE FOUGHT SIN AS HARD AS THEY DO MIDDLE AGE, EARTH WOULD BE A MORAL PARADISE. HAL BOYLE, columnist IF YOU HAVE A GARDEN AND A LIBRARY, YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED. CICERO, Roman philosopher…