Table of contents for February 2020 in Reader's Digest

Dwayne Campbell, age 32, Des Moines, Iowa OK, spill it. What’s your bag-packing secret? I use the analogy of building a house. I like to put all my boxes in first, which are my walls. Then after that, the heavy items: canned goods and dairy. And then after them, I put all my light items on top. That way, nothing gets crushed. I bet your sock drawer and closet are perfectly organized too. I’ve got my clothes all lined up, not by color but by style. So all my work clothes together, all my nice shirts together, all my pants together. My sock drawer, not so much. Does it drive you crazy when people pack their own groceries? We’re professionals. They take away from what we try to strive for:…

Thom S. Rainer, the founder of Church Answers, an online community for church leaders, asked ministers and churchgoers alike to share the best excuses they’ve heard for skipping church: ✦ “I couldn’t get the lid off the peanut butter.” ✦ “The church is too close to drive and too far to walk.” ✦ “Both of my girlfriends attend church there.” ✦ “The pastor stays in the Bible too much.” ✦ “The pastor is too attractive. When I see him preaching, I have impure thoughts and I am distracted.” ✦ “My wife cooked bacon for breakfast, and our entire family smelled like bacon.” ✦ “The worship leader pulls up his pants too often. It’s distracting.” ✦ “I always get hemorrhoids on Sundays.” ✦ “Someone called me ‘brother’ instead of using my…

✦ “It doesn’t really look like a dragon, but never mind, I’ll eat it anyway—food is food!” ✦ “Yep, that’s exactly how I wanted it done. You’ve nailed it. Again.” ✦ “Don’t need it. Already have three. Let’s just stick to our shopping list.” ✦ “For Pete’s sake, Dad. It’s 3:30 in the morning. Please, go back to bed—you’re starting a new job, and this is the one night you really need some decent sleep.” ✦ “Don’t hide that square millimeter of zucchini behind the pasta. More! More green! I’m into micro sprouts at the moment too.” ✦ “It doesn’t matter how we did this yesterday. Things change!” ✦ “Here’s the remote—I don’t really know how to use it anyway.” ✦ “I bet I can get in my car seat…

Father Knows Best My husband and I took our two boys fishing. My father was against it, claiming the boys were too young and hooks were dangerous. I told him he was being ridiculous and assured him that we would be careful. At the lake, our oldest son cast his line and hooked his little brother in the forehead, with the worm dangling across his nose. “See, Mom?” he cried as we carefully removed the hook. “You should always listen to your parents.” —Michele Cable East stroudsburg, PEnnsylvania I’d Like to Buy a Vowel I work in a small community hospital and often draw blood samples from inpatients. One evening, while I was preparing to take blood from an elderly patient, she stated, “I can feel it in my bones.”…

A melted candy bar helps create the microwave oven Percy Spencer was so fascinated by the sinking of the Titanic that he became a scientist. He joined the Navy, trained as a radio electrician, and ultimately became a civilian expert on radar during World War II, earning the Distinguished Public Service Award for his work. And he did it all without ever having graduated from high school. After the war, Spencer worked for Raytheon Manufacturing, a defense contractor. As he was walking near the radar equipment one day, he absentmindedly stuck his hand in his shirt pocket—and found a gooey mess. Spencer often carried a Mr. Peanut candy bar to feed the squirrels at lunch. He knew enough about radar to suspect that its heat-producing magnetron waves could be the…

The Nicest Places in America Your cover story has given me renewed hope and enthusiasm for this country of mixed peoples and cultures. From my island state of Hawaii, I see that the spirit of aloha—loosely translated as “love, peace, and compassion”—exists in every state. Aloha to all! —Robert Samuel hashimoto Mililani, Hawaii The award of “Nicest Place” to Columbiana, Ohio, made me very proud to have been raised there. At age 75, I don’t think I am the only one who still thinks of Columbiana as “The Biggest Little Town in Ohio.” I was never quite sure what it meant, but your article fleshes it out: big in generosity, kindness, tolerance, heart, and pride. —Bud Schmidt Myrtle Point, Oregon I nominated the Maury Loontjens Memorial Library in Narragansett, Rhode…

If you don’t want anyone to talk to you on a plane, hold a Bible in your lap. That’s a trick Kathrine Lee uses to get some quiet time between seminars and speaking engagements in her career as a life coach and business strategist. But it didn’t work the day a handsome man sat next to her and started chatting. He was charming, and before long, Kathrine, a married mother of three, was wondering which of her single girlfriends she’d set him up with. Then she asked him, “So what do you do?” He owned a pornography company, he told her. He thought it would be funny to get the church lady to like him, then tell her what he did for a living and watch her squirm. Instead, Kathrine…

1 Humans make three different versions of tears. Basal tears lubricate our eyes, reflex tears form in response to irritants such as smoke and dirt, and emotional tears flow when we’re sad or overjoyed. All are made of salt water mixed with oils, antibodies, and enzymes, but they each also contain different molecules. Emotional tears, for example, carry protein-based hormones, including leucine-enkephalin, a natural painkiller released when the body is under stress. 2 onion tears are obviously of the reflex variety—but what’s the irritant? It turns out onions secrete a compound to deter predators—aka some hungry human wielding a blade—called lacrimatory factor. To cut down on its release, refrigerate the onion before slicing, then use a sharp knife to reduce the damage to the onion and the release of the…

1 Build a Better Snowman FUN The key to making a great snowman? Flattened snowballs. Jim Sysko, who helped build the world’s tallest snowman in 2008, says that slightly flat snowballs make for a more stable snowman (or snowwoman). 2 Protect Your Dog’s Paws PETS If your dog hates snow booties, you can still protect his feet from rock salt and other winter hazards. Apply a wax-based balm to his feet before you go out, then clean them when you finish your walk. Standard petroleum jelly will work, as will balms from popular brands such as Musher’s Secret and Burt’s Bees. 3 Rest Your Dough COOKING For a richer flavor when making cookies, chill your dough for a few hours before baking. That will help the moisture and fat spread…

DOGS 1 I’m basically a toddler. “The secret to understanding dog behavior is that the average dog has a mind that’s equivalent to that of a human two-to-two-and-a-half-year-old,” Stanley Coren, PhD, a professor emeritus in the psychology department at the University of British Columbia, told Psychology Today. On average, dogs comprehend about 165 words, so they can follow a bit more than just “walk” and “treat.” They’re also most likely to learn words associated with objects or activities, as opposed to words associated with emotions, such as “Good doggy!” 2 But there are a few top dogs. “Superdogs”—those in the top 20 percent of the intelligence spectrum—are a little closer to human three-year-olds, and they can understand more than 250 words. “Every now and then, you get a Mozart or…

As she walked onto the packed airplane holding her tiny infant—you know, the kind that cries for entire flights—Nicole Cliffe must have known she was a candidate for least popular passenger. And that was before her baby got sick and vomited all over her pants and seat cushion. “They had to BRING THE PLANE BACK to replace the seat and seat belt, and everyone hated me,” she later tweeted. But a simple act of compassion soon saved the day, and then some. A flight attendant not only spelled Cliffe by holding and comforting her baby but also lent the frazzled mom a pair of yoga pants to change into. “I firmly believe that she will go to heaven no matter what she may do in the rest of her life,”…

A résumé’s cover letter is your first introduction to a potential hiring manager. Don’t blow it, like these job seekers: ✦ “I am a motivated, self-igniting person.” ✦ “I would like to come by and show you my work in hopes of making something of my life so I can move out of my parents’ basement.” ✦ “I’m looking for work because even though my company was profitable last year, this year they are expecting a large defecate.” ✦ “I’m not intimated by your internship; want to be a part of your fun atmosphere.” ✦ “Strong writing abilities. Able to analysis data and problem solve.” ✦ “I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly.” —killianbranding.com…

Last spring, I started a new exercise class. As someone who dislikes doing jumping jacks, burpees, and push-ups, I found the workouts surprisingly enjoyable, at least for a while. But after several months, my hobby began to feel like watching the same episode of a sitcom on repeat. I was overly familiar with the class routine, and my excitement had been replaced with boredom. A 2016 study for the American Psychological Association estimated that 63 percent of us suffer from boredom regularly. And research shows that chronically bored people are more prone to depression, substance use, and anxiety. Even though we all feel apathetic from time to time, according to Mary Mann, author of Yawn: Adventures in Boredom, it’s often seen as being self-inflicted. “Only boring people get bored” is…

1. sovereign adj. ('sah-vuh-rin) A communal. B independent. C from abroad. 2. discernment n. (dih-'surn-ment) A secession. B lack of agreement. C perception. 3. inviolate adj. (in-'vy-uh-let) A purplish. B ravaged. C pure. 4. propitious adj. (pruh-'pih-shuhss) A favorable. B mighty. C patriotic. 5. recant v. (rih-'kant) A take back. B narrate. C pour out, as wine. 6. pecuniary adj. (pih-'kyoo-nee-air-ee) A traitorous. B related to money. C insignificant. 7. maxim n. ('mak-sum) A upper limit. B true saying. C winter coat. 8. vicissitude n. (vuh-'sih-suh-tood) A shift of luck. B legal exception. C check on power. 9. scrutiny n. ('skroo-tuh-nee) A examination. B uprising. C mystery. 10. emolument n. (ih-'mawl-yuh-ment) A payment. B essential piece. C bronze. 11. magnitude n. ('mag-nuh-tood) A attractiveness. B monarchy. C great size. 12. compliance n. (kum-'ply-ents) A falsehood. B obedience. C makeshift tool. 13. impunity n.…

✦ “How to Sound Smarter, with Expert Help” suggests that we “simply” use “about the same distance” instead of “equidistant.” I disagree. It is not simpler to use four words and six syllables than to use one word of four syllables. My advice: Read a lot, increase your vocabulary, and use only words you understand. Sound smarter by being smarter. —Markell Raphaelson West LaureL, MaryLand ✦ While reading about people with periphrasis, the tendency to use large words to appear smarter, I was reminded of a quote by Nicky Gumbel: “Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.” —James M. Reed hoover, aLabaMa…

At the doctor’s office, a 20-something man was trying to make an appointment for a Mrs. Brown. Try as he might, he just could not remember her first name. Frustrated, he left. A few minutes later, I passed him outside the office on the phone. “Hey, Dad,” he said. “What’s Mom’s first name?” —James Secor West Memphis, Arkansas Trying to get online at my mother-in-law’s, I scrolled through various Internet access names. One neighbor’s Wi-Fi really stood out: “You Kids Get Off My LAN!” —Nancy Lawson New Hope, Pennsylvania A friend was due to give birth around the same time that her oldest daughter was due to give birth to her first baby. On the morning my friend went into labor, I happened to drive by her house, wondering what…

One morning, Emma woke up with a start. Her husband, Jim, asked what the matter was. “I had a dream that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day,” she said. “What could it mean?” “You’ll know tonight,” Jim said slyly. That evening, Jim came home with a small package for his wife. Emma ripped open the wrapping paper, tore into the box, and pulled out her gift—a book entitled The Meaning of Dreams. —thetrendinsights.com I describe my husband’s style as “Is that what you’re wearing?” —@sixfootcandy Every year, the Edinburgh Festival Fringe celebrates the world’s funniest comics. Here’s what had us giggling in our kilts this year: ✦ “I accidentally booked myself into an escapology course. I’m really struggling to get out of it.” —Adele Cliff ✦ “A…

Dear cereal makers, exactly how tall do you think kitchen cabinet shelves are?—@AnniemuMary The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother.—@ArtByPush If you’re getting serious about someone, check what number their toaster is set on, because that’s what you’re going to be living with.—@WilliamAder A new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages.—@donni A frittata is just an omelet that studied abroad for a year in college.—@jenstatsky My wife was going to make pancakes. Then she wasn’t. Then she was. Then she wasn’t. Then she was. Now it looks like she’s just waffling.—@KentWGraham…

In November 2017, we published an article called “Thank You for Caring So Much,” a man’s letter of appreciation to the hospital workers who tried to save his wife from a devastating asthma attack. But it turns out there was much more to the story than he knew at the time. LAURA LEVIS, the love of my life, died on September 22, 2016. She was just 34. I was told that Laura never made it to the emergency room. That she collapsed on a street leading to CHA Somerville Hospital in Somerville, Massachusetts, or possibly in a parking lot on the outskirts of the property. My wife had called 911 just after 4 a.m., before she lost consciousness. She wasn’t able to give her exact location, they told me, so…

The stainless steel skewer that Xavier Cunningham found in his backyard two Septembers ago was about a foot and a half long and the width of his pinkie. One end had four sharp prongs, and the other had a single point—it was the kind of rod used to cook rotisserie chicken over a grill. It also made the perfect spear, and Xavier and his friends Silas and Gavon, all ten years old, took turns seeing who could chuck it the farthest. When they got bored, they ditched the skewer near a neighbor’s tree house, sticking the four prongs in the ground as an anchor. They then climbed up the tree house’s ten-foot ladder. Apparently, the boys hadn’t seen the large wasp nest wrapped around the back of the tree, for…