Table of contents for March 2020 in Reader's Digest

LAST YEAR, WE heard from reader Veronica Njoku-Carter the kind of tale we’ve been hearing for decades. A college counselor in California, she was browsing our e-mail newsletter in bed the morning after Thanksgiving when she spotted a headline that made her curious. As she read our comfortingly scientific article, she got worried. Her husband, Derrick Carter, hadn’t been feeling great for a while; now the little discomforts he’d noted jumped off her screen. All were symptoms of congestive heart failure. She got him to phone his doctor immediately. The call nurse directed him straight to the ER. “I thank God that I read your article when I did,” Njoku-Carter wrote. “It saved his life.” At the hospital, an angiogram revealed three blocked arteries. “We had no idea his symptoms…

LAST SUMMER, KATIE Steller pulled off the freeway on her way to work in Minneapolis. She stopped at a traffic light, where a man was sitting with a sign asking for help. She rolled down her window. “Hey!” she shouted. “I’m driving around giving free haircuts. If I go grab my chair, do you want one right now?” The man looked to be in his 60s. He was heavyset, balding, and missing a few teeth. As Steller likes to tell the story, he laughed, then paused. “Actually,” he said, “I have a funeral to go to this week. I was really hoping to get a haircut.” “I’ll be right back,” Steller said. She drove off, went to the salon she owns, and recruited one of her stylists to help her…

1 Four-Year-Old Convinced Father Is a Moron After 45th Consecutive Hide-and-Seek Victory GLENDALE, PENNSYLVANIA— Expressing embarrassment and disappointment over being the son of such a loser, local four-year-old Connor Heyward was convinced Friday that his father, Craig Heyward, was a moron after losing 45 consecutive games of hide-and-seek. “Jeez, this is bad. I’ve hidden behind that bush a dozen times, and this dope still can’t find me,” said Connor, confessing that after finding his father crouched behind a chair half his size, he had started to worry he might grow up to be a “complete imbecile” just like his dad. “At first, I thought I might be really good at this game, but after about an hour hiding underneath a hamper with visible holes, I realized he’s completely out to…

1 Keep Your Cat from Getting a Shock PETS Does your cat like to gnaw on electrical cables? Discourage him or her by dabbing the cords with Grannick’s Bitter Apple or another deterrent spray for pets. Cats hate the flavor. 2 Use Less Soap MONEY Save money by swapping your liquid hand soap dispenser for a foaming version. Its pump turns regular liquid soap into foam, so it takes about half as much soap to create a lather, according to one study. You’ll also use about 16 percent less water. 3 Wear Different Shoes Every Day HEALTH Who among us hasn’t fallen in love with a pair of super-comfy shoes and proceeded to slip them on day after day? While that may feel good, you aren’t actually doing your feet…

“His regrets were few but include eating a rotisserie hot dog from a convenience store in the summer of 2002.” “Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man and thank him for protecting our city.” “His wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniel’s in his hand so that he would appear more natural to visitors.” “When the doctors confronted his daughters with the news that ‘Your father is a very sick man,’ in unison they replied, ‘You have no idea.’” —LOVELIVESON.COM AND THE NEW YORK TIMES…

ALLERGY RELIEF Claritin The company offers a free service called Blue Sky Living that sends members personalized allergy forecasts. ANTIAGING SKIN CARE Olay Olay tests its products on “lab skins”—artificial material designed to mimic the properties of natural skin. It’s part of the company’s push to end animal testing in the skin-care and beauty industries. BLOOD GLUCOSE MONITOR OneTouch The OneTouch Reveal mobile app (also available for your computer) can share your blood sugar information directly with your healthcare professional. BODY LOTION Aveeno Known originally for oat-based skin care, Aveeno has published clinical evidence supporting the benefits of oats and other natural ingredients for 70 years. COLD & FLU REMEDIES NyQuil The nighttime cold and flu relief comes in formulas that include one for severe symptoms, another specifically for cough…

TRUST-BUILDING MOVES • See the same doctor, not just any doctor in a large practice, for your regular checkups as well as when you are sick, if possible. You may want to look into “direct pay” physicians, who charge a membership fee for care.• Ask about office policies. How much time do they set aside for the first appointment? (One hour is ideal; 30 minutes is more realistic.) How long is the typical wait for an appointment? How do they handle patient questions?• Share your concerns. If you have any doubts about your diagnosis or treatment plan, don’t be shy about telling your doctor so he or she can try to address them. VALID WAYS TO VERIFY • Do your own research. In addition to consulting well-known, reputable sites such…

FROM ESPN.COM ON A BLUSTERY day in early March, Fabiano Caruana decides to get away. He drives three hours west from his St. Louis apartment to a 2,000-acre compound in rural Missouri owned by a friend. At 7:30 the next morning, he heads out for an hour-long run with his training partner, Cristian Chirila. As he’s jogging, it’s easy to mistake him for a soccer player. At five foot six, Caruana has a lean frame, his legs angular and toned. He has a packed schedule for the day: a five-mile run, an hour of tennis, half an hour of basketball, and an hour of swimming. But Caruana is, in fact, an American grandmaster in chess, the number two player in the world. His training partner, Chirila? A Romanian grandmaster. And…

A Time for Miracles I lost my father in May. Today in the mail I received a Reader’s Digest in his name but with my address. Of all things, it was the Christmas Miracles issue. We both enjoyed the magazine, but I usually buy it at the grocery store. I just wanted you to know they sell subscriptions in heaven. —L.M. via e-mail Mind Your Manners! Even before reading this article, I had decided what to say the next time someone says I don’t look handicapped: “Thank you. It’s nice to know the eight orthopedic surgeries don’t show that much!” —DORI OWNBEY Laramie, Wyoming I could not disagree more with the advice that the son should pay for some of the cost of the damaged phone. The young lady was…

UPS DRIVER RYAN ARENS was making his rounds near a pond in Bozeman, Montana, when he heard an unearthly sound. “Like a cry for help,” he told thedodo.com, a website for animal lovers. It was December 2018, and about 15 feet from the frozen banks was the source of that cry—a half-submerged brown-and-white wirehaired hound, struggling to cling to a thin layer of ice. How she got there no one knows, but an elderly man was already on the scene, determined to save her. He’d entered the pond in a rowboat and was hacking away at the ice with a rock to create a path to the dog. It was slow going, and Arens, 44, thought he stood a better chance. “Animals are my weakness,” he told the Great Falls…

✦ My freshman year of college, my grandma mailed me sugar cookies for my birthday but wrote in the card that she’d put jalapeños in them so that I would know she was thinking of me “but wouldn’t gain the weight.” ✦ When my older sister told my family she was pregnant out of wedlock and not in a relationship, my grandma sighed, looked at me, and said, “We always thought it would be you.” ✦ I had just met my boyfriend’s family for the first time. As I was leaving, his grandma gave me a hug and said it was wonderful to meet me. I said, “Thank you. It’s nice to know I have approval.” To which she replied, “Oh, now, dear, just because we like you doesn’t mean…

THE DRIVER WHO cuts you off in traffic. The neighbors who don’t pick up after their dog. The insurance company that keeps you on hold for an eternity. Situations such as these get our hearts racing and send our stress levels skyrocketing. Anger isn’t a pleasant feeling. Some of us bottle up the emotion, while others explode in a wild rage. Both habits have repercussions for our bodies, our minds, and our relationships. Anger may feel uncomfortable, but it’s also normal and healthy. “A lot of people think they have to get rid of their anger,” says Patrick Keelan, a registered psychologist in Calgary, Alberta. “But anger is an emotion built into us to signal that something needs to be addressed.” When we take notice of that signal and actually…

IT IS MY favorite episode of The Simpsons of all time. Homer is holding forth at his dinner table about the diverse deliciousness of bacon, ham, pork chops, and other porcine products. “Dad, those all come from the same animal,” his daughter says helpfully. “Yeah, right, Lisa,” Homer responds, amused by her naivete. “A wonderful, maaaagical animal!” As is usually the case, Homer was speaking a fundamental truth to which he happened to be hilariously oblivious: I am pretty magical. For starters, my fellow pigs are as smart as most any dog, capable of being taught how to play video games. I also make a great pet that can live for 20 years. But if eating me is the route you prefer, so be it. After all, I’m the sole…

SIT TIGHT ON STANDING DESKS Desks that can be adjusted for either sitting or standing are sometimes touted as a way to fight obesity, but according to a review of 53 studies, no significant results support this claim. This makes sense, given that simply standing doesn’t burn many calories. However, some study participants found that standing helped them feel less fatigued, reduced lower-back pain, and improved blood pressure mildly. Desk height, monitor height, amount of time standing, and use of an antifatigue mat (to cushion the feet) all affected the benefits people experienced. New Type of Dementia A report published in the journal Brain found that up to a third of Alzheimer’s-like dementia cases may actually be caused by a newly identified disease called LATE, which stands for limbic-predominant age-related…

FOOT CARE Dr. Scholl’s The company now offers custom 3-D-printed inserts made from foot scans users can take with their cell phones. HEADACHE/PAIN RELIEVERS Tylenol Inspired by customer feedback, the redesigned packaging features bottle caps that are easier to open while generating less plastic waste. HEARTBURN/ANTACID Tums Some women get heartburn for the first time during pregnancy. Tums is the number one ob-gyn-recommended brand of antacid. HERBAL SUPPLEMENT Nature Made For two decades, the company has been supporting and participating in clinical trials and sharing data with other researchers and healthcare professionals. LIP CARE ChapStick In addition to lip balm, the company now makes 100 percent natural “lip butter,” which is paraben-free and has no artificial colors or flavors. MULTIVITAMINS Centrum Because they are made with all-natural plant-based colors, Centrum…

Never get into a lane-merging game of chicken with a person who has a garbage bag for a car-door window.—@MelvinOfYork Now that I’ve removed my windshield wipers I shouldn’t be getting any more parking tickets.—Mariah Scary on TWITTER How is it that a parking spot gets paid more per hour than I do?—@markedly The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.—armyVet1972 Somebody actually complimented my driving today. They left a little note on the windshield that said “parking fine.”—@aadil The irony of being hit by a Dodge.—@rikpayne…

✦ In your roundup of science fiction gadgets that later became reality, I was surprised you left out Maxwell Smart’s shoe phone from Get Smart, which preceded the cell phone by several decades. It even went off once in a theater. —Stu Lewis PRAIRIE VILLAGE, KANSAS ✦ In the 1960s and ’70s, sci-fi author Larry Niven often wrote about people who would no longer use cash but instead conduct transactions with an electronic card that took the money straight from their bank account. —Douglas Engelhardt LAS VEGAS, NEVADA…

How did you first meet Scamp the Tramp? It was just like the young people on Tinder. When I saw Scamp on Petfinder, all of a sudden I understood what that was like. I swiped right because I fell in love with his face. What did you know about him when you adopted him? He’d been living on the street in Compton, California, and people were feeding him Taco Bell. And his name was Muffin Man, which didn’t seem to fit him at all. What do you do to give him that bed head look? It’s au naturel! He does get a mango shampoo and a coconut conditioner, but these gray dreads just appear on his head, back, and tail. The groomer says his hair is uncontrollable. Scamp works with…

A Swiss man looking for directions pulls up at a bus stop in Zurich where two American tourists are waiting. “Entschuldigung, können Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. “Parlez-vous français?” he tries. The two Americans continue to stare. “Parlate italiano?” No response. The Swiss guy gives up and drives off. The first American turns to the second and says, “We should really learn a foreign language.” “Why?” asks the second. “That guy knew three, and it didn’t do him any good!” —ENGLISHFORUM.CH What happens when an artist has trouble finding inspiration? She draws a blank. —Submitted by CHERYL HERMAN Baltimore, Maryland So you’re telling me … … a shrimp fried this rice? —@ZULUONLY … a flea runs this market? —@ADAM_DERPIN … this garage is on…

FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS, our annual Trusted Brands Survey has compiled a list of the most reliable medical products and services, as determined in a national poll. This year, we also looked at where medical care isn’t meeting expectations, according to the 3,500 people queried. Our sister website, The Healthy, is using the data to power a yearlong study of the challenges and promises of major health conditions: heart disease, diabetes, depression, cancer, arthritis, and more. To read these stories, go to thehealthy.com/2020solutions. 67% of those with a chronic condition said getting an accurate diagnosis can be frustrating. For people with digestive ailments such as ulcers or irritable bowel syndrome, it was 73 percent. 52% said they have had to take their health care into their own hands rather…

The Case of the Broken Lottery Machine You might say that Pauline McKee is a slot machine veteran. At 87, she had been working the slots for more than six decades. But the “Miss Kitty” machine at the Isle Casino Hotel in Waterloo, Iowa, was new to her. That’s where McKee was playing on July 2, 2011, when, at around 10 p.m., she wagered 25 cents on a spin and won $1.85. But that wasn’t all. A special message also popped up on the game’s screen: “The reels have rolled your way! Bonus Award—$41,797,550.16.” McKee and her daughter, who was playing nearby, excitedly called over a casino attendant. The supervisor on duty took a photo of the screen, told McKee she needed to make a few phone calls, and gave…

FROM OUTSIDE LAST SUMMER, I put my old roan horse in the ground. But there’s way more to the story than that. Thirty-nine years on the planet, 25 of those with me. The first thing I noticed about Roany was that he had a kind eye; the second was his size—just under 17 hands (five foot eight) at the shoulder. The Santa Fe cowboy who sold him didn’t tell me much apart from his age, which likely had a year or two shaved off, and that he went better away from the barn if you wore spurs. Within days, I came to understand Roany’s intensely good nature. Each morning when I went out to feed him, he greeted me with a just-happy-to-be-here chortle. He was as solid a trail horse…