The Oldie

December 2021

The idea for the Oldie was cooked up 25 years ago by its founding editor, Richard Ingrams, and his much-lamented successor, the late Alexander Chancellor. Their aim was to create a free-thinking, funny magazine, a light-hearted alternative to a press obsessed with youth and celebrity. The Oldie is ageless and timeless, free of retirement advice, crammed with rejuvenating wit, intelligence and delight. With over 100 pages in every issue, The Oldie is packed with funny cartoons and free-thinking and intelligent articles covering a wide range of topics – from gardening and books to travel, arts, entertainment, and so much more.

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1 мин.
among this month’s contributors

Eric Chappell (p14) created and wrote Rising Damp (1974-78). He also wrote Only When I Laugh, The Bounder and Duty Free. He was an auditor for the East Midlands Electricity Board for 22 years. Nicholas Garland (p20) was the Daily Telegraph cartoonist for over 40 years. He and Barry Humphries (p36) drew and wrote the Barry McKenzie cartoon strip in Private Eye. Simon Brown (p26) was a Justice of the Supreme Court from 2009 to 2012. He was a High Court judge and a Lord Justice of Appeal. His two volumes of memoirs are Playing off the Roof and Second Helpings. Louise Flind (p93), our On the Road interviewer, worked at English National Opera and Glyndebourne. She’s written for Opera Now, Classic FM Magazine and Sussex Life.…

6 мин.
the old un’s notes

☀ The Oldie of the Year 2021 ceremony at the Savoy Hotel was a rip-roaring success. The prizes were presented by the Duchess of Cornwall. In her speech, she said, ‘Famously, Abraham Lincoln said, “Whatever you are, be a good one, and I think we can agree that, whatever they are, today’s winners are very good ones indeed. My warm congratulations to all of them.” ’ The Duchess also congratulated The Oldie ‘on reaching its thirtieth year and for being a publication that is both original and unique – dedicated to us oldies, but with an ever-youthful spirit’. ☀ Pictured are the Oldie winners. And what a glorious bunch they are: our Truly Scrumptious Oldie of the Year, Delia Smith; the Poptastic Oldie of the Year, Whispering Bob Harris; the Wizard from Oz Oldie…

1 мин.
not many dead

Lost dog handed to Hereford police Hereford Times Drier crumpets on the menu if carbon-dioxide supplies run low again Daily Telegraph Couple’s sunflower just kept growing Congleton Chronicle £15 for published contributions NEXT ISSUE The January issue is on sale on 15th December 2021. FREE SAMPLE COPY If you have a friend who would like a free sample of The Oldie, tell them to call 0800 8565867. GET THE OLDIE APP Go to App Store or Google Play Store. Search for Oldie Magazine and then pay for app. OLDIE BOOKS The Best of The Oldie Cartoons 1992-2018, The Oldie Annual 2020 and other Oldie books are available at: Free p&p. OLDIE NEWSLETTER Go to the Oldie website; put your email address in the red SIGN UP box.…

1 мин.
in absentia

By Sir Les Patterson – recited at the Oldie of the Year I was in a sauna suckin’ on a coldieWhen I got this email from my mates at The Oldie:‘We’re having a big lunch at the Savoy –There’ll be Royalty present.’ I said, ‘Oh boy!’It was then that I read the bit under my thumb:It said, ‘No offence, Les, but please don’t come.’So now I’m cancelled as if I didn’t count,Thanks to that bald bastard, Harry Mount –He probably thought I wouldn’t be missed,Or make a pass at Camilla or turn up pissed.It’s true when I make a speech, there’s seldom much doubtThat when I reach my climax, something slips out. But when something slips out, the ladies protest:They yell, ‘Good on you, Les – now show us the rest.’They’re shit-scared…

1 мин.
jeremy lewis prize for new writing 2021

How to enter Our much-loved deputy editor and patron saint of The Oldie, Jeremy Lewis, died in 2017, aged 75. In his memory, we run the Jeremy Lewis Prize, worth £500. It rewards the sort of writing that emulates Jeremy’s wit and lightness of touch in his books and journalism. What to write about In 400 words, recount a memory (similar to our Memory Lane column, on page 51 of this issue). Please begin by saying when the events you describe took place. How to send your entry Simply email your entry to by 28th November 2021. Please mark it JEREMY LEWIS PRIZE.…

4 мин.
michael caine, king of the muppets

What’s your favourite Christmas film? For my parents, it was always It’s a Wonderful Life. For my children, it’s probably Love Actually. For me, since the grandchildren came along it’s definitely been The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992), starring Kermit the Frog as Bob Cratchit and the great Sir Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge. Caine recently let slip that, at 88, he reckons that, although he doesn’t want to retire, he’s probably made his last movie. That’s sad news – he is one of a kind. Once, having told him how much I admired his Scrooge, I asked our most prolific film star (170 pictures since his first in 1956) to conjure up his ideal Christmas party for me. ‘I think I would be naff enough to serve caviar,’ he said, grinning endearingly. And…